the brew*crew adventure

...that seasons change... and to everything there is a season.

Thursday Photo Challenge: Thankful

I watched the 3rd Party Debates on C-Span night before last. It was so very refreshing to hear the issues discussed much more frankly, with pointed (true) conviction, without all of the rhetoric and pandering to mainstream America-Media, double-talking fluff. If you missed them, you can view them here on YouTube. We also caught John Stossel's Politically Incorrect Guide to Politics on 20/20 last weekend, which I thought was pretty right-on and played right into our ongoing discussion with 12yo N, who's taking a "Presidents & Politics" class at our homeschool co-op this year and has been following the elections this year via news, commentaries, watching debates and collecting political cartoons, along with his short written narrations of election news for a political notebook he's keeping for his class. It's been quite a learning experience for us all.

Yesterday Chris and I went and voted early... for Baldwin/Castle. Yep. I'm not going to go into all the whys and wherefores of our decision, how it wasn't a wasted vote, nor a vote for Obama, etc., mainly since I'm just really tired today due to being up much of the night and all day the past few days with a clingy, congested, constantly-wanting-to-nurse-teething baby girl, and also because the issues that have been rolling around in my thoughts (which have also been discussed a lot at our house in the last couple of months), questions on my mind and shared convictions of our household's collective heart have already been aptly enunciated very well by others. So why reinvent the wheel, right? I'll simply provide a few links here for those interested, and you can go read their thoughts and hear me sayin' "Amen" over your shoulder! I think that like Randi, I'm just beginning to grow weary of it all... you know? I'm going to join my funny brother Daniel, and just not talk politics anymore right now, okay?

I really did go round and round over this for awhile, in prayer and research and mulling it all over before I voted. I even surprised myself at one point by questioning my own resolve and reconsidered voting for McCain, just to help keep Obama out... but upon further reflection, and reviewing the facts, I just couldn't, in clear conscience, do it.

First off, for the record~ a vote for Baldwin (or any other independent) is not a vote for Obama, it's a vote for Baldwin. I mean, what if it was Obama versus Hitler... would you vote for Obama then? How about Hitler or Satan, then one must choose Hitler, right? Far-fetched and ludicrous, maybe, but you get my point?

Let us please remember that as Believers our motivating force for how we vote should NOT be one of fear... just how far would one let this fallacious way of thinking take them... ie; that voting the lesser of two evils is commendable?... Sure that'll be the case to a point no matter who we vote for, seeing as all men are base and our hearts deceptively wicked, but you get my point, right? Especially when there IS a TRUE CONSERVATIVE, Christian candidate running? If all Believers would actually just REALLY vote their conscience instead of telling each other "don't bother, you're throwing your vote away- it'll never work", then we might get to really make a difference... If everyone actually voted with a whole lot more conviction and faith, things might happen. I for one am choosing to do my part towards that lofty end, albeit idealistic and seemingly futile... even reminds of the very definition of faith according to Hebrews 11.1>>

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

The Founders of our (yet) Free Nation waged an impossible battle as well... remember? And Lincoln was a third party candidate without a chance, remember? Yet everyone thankfully didn't say, "what's the use, why bother, he'll/we'll never win anyways"...  may as well play it safe and remain Loyalists (referring back to the crazy Revolution idea)... That's the sort of attitude that will ensure that we never have any other choice besides the ones we're *allowed* by the two primary parties and their media cohorts.

Yes, McCain certainly claims to be pro-life, yet McCain did vote in favor of expanding federal funding of embryonic stem-cell research, NOT adult stem cell research. McCain has verbally flip-flopped on the pro-life issues. He's been against overturning Roe vs. Wade, and more recently claims to be for it, in a round-about sorta way. He wanted his pro-choice buddy Lieberman as his running mate, but was strongly advised to choose for the more conservative base (whaa-laa, we have Palin, yes, I LOVE her too- but she's not running for Pres.-yet... brilliant political move when you think about it), lest he upset the Right and get smeared again like he did the first time he ran... remember?

So, I'm not going to talk politics anymore, but for those of you who are still informing yourselves, and can stomach one, two or maybe even three more articles... here ya go.

“Should Sen. John McCain be elected as the next president of the United States, he will not be a champion for the life of the unborn.”

Sen. John McCain’s Position on Abortion: Setting the Record Straight

Doug Phillips of Vision Forum shares his opinion here on his blog concerning Presidential Candidate Chuck Baldwin on the Pro-Abortion Record of John McCain:

With every passing day as we move closer to the presidential election, the collective IQ of the Christian and conservative community appears to be dropping. The more fearful Christians become, the more they are willing to praise the beautiful garments of the naked emperor. Flashback: One year ago conservative and Christian leaders were in agreement about the fact that John McCain was neither pro-life, nor pro-family, nor conservative in general. Dr. James Dobson vowed publicly to never support the man for this very reason. Question: Besides some new polish and rhetoric, has John McCain fundamentally changed over the last twelve months?

It is one thing to support John McCain, but it is another thing for Christians to claim he is something that he is not in order to soothe the collective consciences of the fear-stricken. This is precisely the type of hypocrisy that liberals rightly point out. Why not just ‘fess up and admit the truth—“John McCain has voted for liberal pro-abortion judges to sit on the highest court of the land, has voted for subsidies for abortion, once said he opposed overturning Roe V. Wade, and supports killing babies in certain cases—BUT WE ARE VOTING FOR HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE WE FEAR AN OBAMA PRESIDENCY.”

At least that would be honest.

Doug then goes on to site Chuck Baldwin's article on what a joke the notion that McCain is really Pro-Life is. Baldwin writes:

John McCain openly embraces embryonic stem cell research. In 2000, he boldly said he did not favor the overturn of Roe v. Wade. John McCain was a member of the infamous "Gang of 14" senators from both parties whose purpose was to oppose pro-life, strict constructionist judges.

Speaking of judges, John McCain voted for the pro-abortion justice, Stephen Breyer, and the radical, pro-abortion, ACLU attorney, Ruth Bader Ginsburg. So much for the argument that we need John McCain for the sake of appointing conservative justices to the Supreme Court. For that matter, Republican appointments dominated the Court that gave us Roe v. Wade and the one that later gave us Doe v. Bolton. Proving, once again, that the Republican Party, as a whole, has no real commitment to the life issue.

John McCain also gave us McCain-Feingold. This is the law that keeps pro-life or pro-Second Amendment organizations from broadcasting ads that mention a candidate by name 30 days before a primary election or 60 days before a general election. This proves that John McCain believes neither in the right to life nor the right to keep and bear arms. (This is one reason why the Gun Owners of America gives McCain a grade of F.)

In a debate with George W. Bush in May of 2000, John McCain attacked Bush's support for the pro-life plank in the Republican Party. Still today, John McCain believes that babies who are conceived via rape or incest should be murdered. I remind readers, however, that there are no "exceptions" in the womb, only babies.

If all of the above is not enough, as a senator, John McCain has repeatedly voted to fund pro-abortion providers such as Planned Parenthood with federal tax dollars. In fact, McCain has voted to use federal tax dollars to support abortion providers at home and overseas. Yes, this "pro-life" senator (along with "pro-life" President, George W. Bush) has significantly increased federal spending for abortion providers to levels eclipsing even the appropriations authorized by President Bill Clinton and his fellow Democrats.

So... that pretty much sums it up for me! Also, a blogging friend of mine, Jacque of Walking Therein, shares her thoughts on these important issue and others in an informative post here, which I totally agree with as well. As for Obama, well... I believe that his own supporters say it best, when they say nothing at all! Another blogging friend of mine, Heather, aka. Sprittibee has also just posted a great article on how Obama opposes homeschooling and parental rights. Spunky has also been sharing a lot of insightful information regarding Obama on education over at her blog.

Vote you conscience!

Do not put your trust in princes,
Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help.

~Psalm 146.3

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.

  ~John Quincy Adams.

Technorati Tags: 3rd Party Debates, elections, Baldwin/Castle, Chuck Baldwin, Pro-Life, McCain

Amy of Dandelion Seeds is inviting anyone who would like to commit to praying for the Drews family to please email her to sign up for a specific time, or just let her know that you're praying, and she'll then let the Drews know that so many are lifting them up. You may go to her post here to read more about it and to see what times are left. Her goal is to have every hour of a 24 hour day covered by Sept. 25, which will mark a month since they lost their precious baby boy, Christian Edward Drews.

I'm asking anyone interested in lifting Marsha and their family in prayer every day at a promised time until the 25th (marking one month since "Dozer" went to be with Jesus) to email me (amy@dandelionseeds.com) with the time you'll be praying (please include your blog link if you have one as well, and put COVERING THE DREWS FAMILY in the subject line so it will be easier for me to sort everyone's requests with my other emails.  Please email me so I can compile all of the addresses for Marsha to receive as well, as I know she will want them).

**Added disclaimer: Please note that this post contains material that is inappropriate for children to read. Other than this one post, my blog is entirely family friendly.**

I just returned home from our local library, where I'd taken the kids this afternoon, to pick up some history tales and biographies. It was a disturbing visit this time, a first for me at this library... I've come to expect that we'll (obviously) sometimes be faced with plenty of contrary opinions in such a public arena of published thoughts, and the ensuing questions that then result from our visits have usually been fodder for great discussions and learning opportunities. It just goes with the territory, right? Fine. and. Dandy. I'm just glad that I didn't have to discuss this one with the kids, though I did with the librarians... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, after I'd stacked baby S's stroller high with the books on my list, I wandered down past the "Junior Biographies" section, heading over towards where my twelve year old son N was, near the children's computers. I was just passing my nine year old daughter, T as she was searching for a book "about Arabian horses", when, as I strolled along, contentedly enjoying the warm*fuzzy learning vibe the library always brings us, I happened to glance over at the shelf next to me, a bit below my own eye-level, and thereupon: did a double-take. Huh?! What's that book laying there sideways, where someone else (a child?) has presumably hastily discarded it (in embarrassment, perhaps) SAY?

It glared back at me unapologeticaly, with bold red letters, reading "Boys and S*x". Huh? That's a bit pointedly blunt, even for a secular book about s*x education for young (ages 9-12, according to Amazon) kids, isn't it? It almost sounds like a game, doesn't it? Well... this book certainly attempts to be the instructional manual, apparently treating it as such. I almost put it back in line with the other books, to at least hide the double-daring title, there being very young children around and all. But then, thick as it was... I wondered, just how much is there to be said on this topic anyways... and to children at that?! And so I hesitantly picked it up and, looking around to make sure that my kids wouldn't see me blushing, nor the offending title, opened it randomly to just past the middle of the book... curious, and upon seeing who the author was, even filled with an expectant dread.

I am not queasy, nor naive, when it comes to talking about purity, and the opposite s*x issues with our kids... Well, maybe I was a bit woozy at the thought at first, before we broke the ice... Come to think of it, there's a funny story there I have yet to blog about. But I digress, will have to share that in another post. Anyways, our 12 yo son has had "THE talk", which has now become more of an on-going dialogue. We're pretty casual in conversing about the birds and the bees (as well as the enemy's distortions, debasements and attempted marring of our God-given s*xuality) as necessary and questions are asked around here, though always respectfully. Our 9yo daughter knows as much as she's interested and ready for as of yet. S*x is good, it's a beautiful thing within the Biblical parameters of a loving marriage, life-giving~ literally, as our Creator meant it to be. So, let the record show: I'm not afraid when it comes to parents teaching their children about these matters.

Even so, I was not prepared for what I read, regardless of the fact that I'd knowingly made note of the fact that the author is none other than the co-author of The Kinsey Report... Kinsey having been a *ahem* shall we say- disturbed, degenerate, pedophile/pseudo-scientist, credited with normalizing the s*xual revolutuion, and legitimizing h*mos*xuality. Yeah, well, apparently, this book I held in my hand, that my son had just walked right by moments before me, is a children's version of another book Pomeroy had co-authored with Kinsey himself. Um, yeah...

Where was I? Oh yeah, what I read... but I can't tell you all of it anyways, since this is a fairly family-friendly blog, and I was tainted all day having read it, especially considering its intended audience. Grieved in my spirit... Let it suffice to say that it was quite descriptive, giving detailed directions (more graphic than even a diagram could have been) as to how a "teenaged boy" can m*st*rb*te to find pleasure after "he has been left unfulfilled by his partner"...or if willing, how his partner can give him fulfillment (after explaining that this meant to have *rg**m) by doing it for him?!

At this point, I was standing there in disbelief, trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. I was just plain stupified, but not so much that it was there - in print, written to children (as sad and twisted as that is, it's a sign of the times, I'd given mental assent to that already, one does tend to get desensitized) but more that it was right there, in our library, mere feet away from my children who were innocently perusing the very shelf I'd snatched it from. And I couldn't believe what I was reading, p*rnographic smut, right there in my kids' section of the library. Did I say that already, "the children's section"? Had my son curiously opened it up and read the little snippit I'd just read, his conscience would have surely been violated. That quick.

I was livid. In that moment today, the realization - that the battle for our children's hearts is being fought every day - was crystallized for me in seeing how close to home this strike was aimed. As I stood there, holding one of the enemy's weapons of choice in my own hands, I was reminded-once again- that in this world, there is no escaping the darkness that pervades the age, it's everywhere. The destroyer, the enemy of our children's souls is alive and well, and his handiwork is peddled as educational- even at our own little town's library... I had let my guard down... Upon second thought, no, I hadn't let my guard down, I was very watchfully aware. I just wasn't sitting on top of my kids, requiring that they let me first examine everything they laid their eyes upon, trusting God to catch my slack. At some point, we have to let our older children move into more freedom. Don't we? Of course we do. I cannot hold my 12 year old son's hand in the junior section of our library. *smirk* No, but the Lord can, and does.

Just so happens, I have a case in point that I was reminded of later. On the way to the library, N had popped in a cd that we haven't listened to in quite awhile, the "Prince of Egypt~ Inspirational", and one of the songs on it, The River, by CeCe Winans, always pulls on my heart strings (actually it gives me chills), but especially so today. And so, there I was - as we were driving to the library- prayerfully singing along with fervor, asking for God to watch over my son as he's growing up into a young man. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidences.

The river flows from the depths of my soul
Save your son from harm and danger
It's killing me, still I've gotta let him go
Trust in You cause You're not a stranger
You are a spark, Misses joy
Now save my innocent boy
I'll leave forever in your cradle
I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with ya river
Take care of him
That's my heart, my heart
Familiar friend it's your hand that he's in
Carry him with blessed assurance
Don't let him go til you know that he's safe
I pray to God the Father for amazing grace
I gave you all that I've got now save him
Now save him from Pharaoh's plot
Of killin' each child that's born a man
I'm talking to ya river
You're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
Take care of him; that's my heart, he's my heart
Now that I put him in the water
I pray for you to do what you've got to do
With my son, yeah
Let him go, let him go...

I'm talking to you

I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
Take care of him
Take care of him, my baby
I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
How could I let my little boy go
Let him go , let him go
My baby boy...

That is my heart's cry as I homeschool my kids... that He would deliver them to His Promised Land... realizing that I cannot. He IS ABLE to deliver. Praying that His Holy Spirit, that river that's carrying them where I know not, that I must release them to, would bear them- these little ones- to somewhere that they can and will be free! It is my prayer that He would guide me as I shepherd them, and ultimately that they will look to Him to shepherd them one day, and that they would follow Him, Salvation, who came to deliver us all, to the Promised Land. I have no doubt that today, as we unsuspectingly walked into the library, our Lord was shepherding my children, even when I could not... guarding their eyes, and thus their hearts... that it was I who picked up that book, and not them. I only pray that the librarians, whom I brought the book to and adamantly shared my concerns with, as I politely pointed out to them the one inappropriate, disturbing page I'd read, along with a bit about the Kinsey report and the author, also feel the fervor to do something about it, like permanently pulling it from the shelves (if they even can). They were surprised, a bit embarrassed as well, and quite apologetic that it was there.

Over the years, I've grown more lenient with my kids at the library (though not without prayer and trepidation, well aware of the fact that there's a lot of falsehoods and alluring twaddle in print), letting them wander the aisles (of the junior/kids section of the library), perusing through the rows of books at will... I've surmised that my readers (now 12.5 and 9.5 years old) are pretty well grounded in their faith and strong in their beliefs. We discuss all sorts of topics and I usually welcome opportunities to share with my kids how our Christian worldview applies to opposing opinions and belief systems. I have also been delighted to hear their own thoughtful observations as they critically evaluate what they hear and read. Thus, I have absolutely no problem with them reading about other religions, evolution, mythology, liberal politics, etc. within limits appropriate to their understanding and spiritual maturity levels... However, today, as I was given a strong dose of reminding as to why we homeschool, and what much of our world considers acceptable and normal for a 9-12 year old audience, I was also reminded to stay ever-prayerfully-vigilant... even at the library. I would like to urge you all to do the same, as you venture forth with your charges into the halls of learning this year.

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

John 16:33

I would like to end this post by recommending to you of a couple our favorite purity books: The Princess and the Kiss for girls and The Squire and the Scroll for boys, both of which I blogged about here. They're both good for boys and girls though- our daughter loves the latter and our son enjoyed the Princess book for years before we got the Squire book. We've also enjoyed the Life Lessons devotionals that have since been published to go along with each of these beautiful books.

Technorati Tags: Kinsey, purity, The Princess and the Kiss, The Squire and the Scroll, Homeschooling Carnival

Yesterday was Tisha B'Av, which simply means the 9th day of the month of Av on the Hebrew calendar. Historically this is a very significant date which now commemmorates the destruction of the Temples of God's people (both of which were destroyed on this exact day), and a time for grieving and fasting, symbolically grieving over the distance between ourselves and God... thus it's also a time to meditate upon our own spiritual journeys, a time to ask God to direct us and show us the condition of our own heart and inner temple. To read more about this whole idea of a temple, you may read a wonderful article here, Does God Need a Temple?, which I just read this morning.

Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If any one destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and that temple you are.

~ 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

It actually all began way back when the ten of the twelve spies didn't believe God for the victory that He had already promised to them (see Numbers 13 & 14). You may click here to read more about "The Sin of the Spies" , an excerpt of which follows:

The Israelite community accepts the report, and gives up their dream of going into Israel. The consequence? If you don't want to enter the land, says God, then you won't enter the land. All Israelites will die out over the next 40 years in the desert, and only their children will enter the land.

Numbers 14:1 tells us the people's reaction to this news: "The people wept that night." That night was Tisha B'Av, the ninth day of the Jewish month of Av. God declared: "They cried for no reason; in the future I'll give them good reason to cry."

Hundreds of years later, the destruction of the First Temple was to occur on Tisha B'Av. And 500 years after that, the Second Temple was destroyed on Tisha B'Av as well.

Upon hearing the negative report about Israel, the people sat down to cry. The land had been promised, but their fears prevented them from going forward. At which point God responds: "Today you cried for nothing; in the future I'll give you a real reason to cry."

Talmud - Ta'anit 29a

I am reminded of my own unbelief... how many times have I not taken God at His Word, simply because of worldy, carnal circumstances. Because of fear... how much ground have I lost?

 7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

~ 2 Timothy 1

Upon realization of the state of my own temple, how my spirit does cry out to my Lord, Who is full of such grace and mercy!

23 Jesus said to him, If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes. 24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help you my unbelief.

~ Mark 9

I wrote a brief post about Tisha B'Av here a couple of years ago.

If I forget you Jerusalem
May I forget my right hand
May my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth
If I ever don't think of you
If I don't raise up Jerusalem above my highest joy

 

~ Psalms 137:5,6

This weekend I've been reading from the book of Jeremiah, along with some of its contextual setting (a more concise summary of which I found in Mear's What the Bible is All About), and also yesterday and today- the book of Lamentations (which is traditionally read on the 9th of Av).

21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.

22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

23 They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness.

24 The LORD is my portion, said my soul; therefore will I hope in him.

25 The LORD is good to them that wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.

26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

Av means "Father" in Hebrew... so it's the "month of Father", interesting... it is a time to consider our relationship with our Heavenly Father, and maybe even our earthly Fathers, deal with our past hurts, grievances, etc... This morning I listened to a fascinating broadcast by Dr. Michael Kavanabout here, where he shares some of the symbolisms found in Tish B'Av, along with his own spiritual reflections during this time.He discusses a bit of the process of getting back in touch with one's inner temple, explaining how grieving opens the heart, and then forgiveness opens the heart even wider. "Before we can forgive and come up into life (as seen later during Yom Kippur), we must go down into the darkness of the grave." Hmmm... that's a familiar concept there... reminds me of what our Messiah Yeshua did.

25 Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: 26 And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

~ John 11

Through this process of greaving, and true repentance of sins, the way is made for a resurrection... the coming of the Messiah and great healing within us. How is the temple inside your heart? How is your ability to love?

I found a great post with further thoughts on Tisha B'Av here at Messianic Moments:

Tisha B'Av ... From Sorrow to Hope

and another here at Religion Transcends:

Celebrate Tisha B'Av!

Technorati Tags: 9th of Av, Tisha B'Av, Temple of God, Biblical Holidays, mourning, fasting

This is what is posted on our wall, and our family is currently working on memorizing together.

Psalm 121

1 I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.

2 My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.

3 He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber.

4 Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD is thy keeper: the LORD is thy shade upon thy right hand.

6 The sun shall not smite thee by day, nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD shall preserve thee from all evil: he shall preserve thy soul.

8 The LORD shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore.

...in which I shall parallel post with Birdie, who does so often seem to exist in a universe parallel to my own...

This time, Birdie wrote a wonderfully insightful, honest post here about momma/baby-induced and spiritual sleepwalking. It's deceptively short, encompassing so very much more than is apparent at first glance, so much of what I myself have been going through, but at a loss of words for... I guess that I can just relate to her post there on so many levels right now that I thought I ought to go ahead and post about it too, sleepwalking that is. Birdie, you've inspired me with words, which I've been so short of lately, hope that you don't mind my hi-jacking your thoughts and running with them?

...sleepwalking, naturally momma.

First, on being up throughout the night with Baby S... and feeling like I'm sleepwalking through many of my days. There was a short time, when she was a few months old, and still sleeping in her co-sleeper beside my bed, rather than in our bed, as she does now, that she'd started actually sleeping through the night, or most of it anyways, only waking up once or twice. I do still usually put her down in her co-sleeper to start out the night, but now that she can, as soon as she stirs enough to notice I'm not beside her (usually within an hour or two) she crawls right over to me and snuggles so sweetly down beside me. It's become a habit that I adore, and one that Chris and I have decided is in her best interest to continue to allow (as well as our own>>sleep).

When I asked Chris if he thought that I should try and transition her to sleeping in her crib, now that she's almost one, he said no, that she still feels like too much a part of me. I'd have to agree with him, in that it would probably be too traumatic at this point, for all involved... I just wanted to give Chris plenty of room to let me know if he wanted me to change our sleeping arrangements. It helps that we have a king-sized bed too... couldn't do this in a double, or even a queen (for us).

I do, however, sometimes refer to it jokingly as "the dark side of attachment parenting"... as she often sleeps literally... attached to me. *snicker* This is where the pacifiers came in handy with my other two babies. Though I enjoy it too sometimes, it's not always the most comfortable arrangement for me. The bright side though, for us, is lots of cherished moments of closeness that could be had no other way which are undoubtedly laying a forever foundation of lovingly woven soul ties. There's also the fact that she'll be one year old next month and I still haven't had my monthly return yet. It's been almost two years now since I've had to deal with it! Gotta love that.

Yeah, sometimes co-sleeping (or not) can wear a Momma out... However, I prefer it the way it is now, for the most part. And now that she's napping on our bed well, alone, every afternoon, the world is brighter, I'm having more time to do other stuff... feel like I'm awake way more often! She still doesn't sleep much though, during the days, for a baby! I guess it's all that good sleep she's getting next to me each night. Heh!

Like Birdie, I too enjoy my night-time hours with the baby and the Lord, alone. It was the same way with N and T, and I've mused over this idea that the Lord gave this time of solitude to us Mothers, especially designed it even, as a window of opportunity to pray for their souls as we nourish their bodies and emotions through the dark of night. I really don’t mind that baby S usually wakes me every couple of hours for a suckle before sighing off back to sleep beside me… I actually will often even relish it, and find myself whispering lucid prayers that vanish with the morning light. But that's just me.

The thing is though, that except when she's having a particularly restless night due to teething, regardless of the fact that I've been woken by her numerous times in the night, I find that I now sleep very well with her beside me and am actually more well rested than I was with N and T when I was getting up and going to fetch them out of their cribs to tend to them, and standing over their cribs for loooooong minutes on end trying to console them back to sleep... or laying in my bed, listening to them cry for me in the next room. I think that made for many more days of sleepwalking than does co-sleeping with baby S.

And, as is the way of things... the natural realm is so often paralleled by the spiritual... sleepwalking, naturally momma.

Like Birdie, I too have recently felt like I’m coming out of a sleepwalking sort of fog, not only physically, but spiritually as well. I tend to get so caught up with tending to everything around me that I find I've neglected that which is most important, just sitting at my Master's feet, and making a point to guard that time, not only for myself, but for my family's sake too.

I think that this sort of spiritual atrophy happens naturally if we're not proactively working against it, and is thus a condition we as Believers must be on guard against, lest we be lulled into dull slumber for much of our spiritual lives. I do believe that it can come from lots of things, familiarity (how many of us have found ourselves sleepwalking - on autopilot- in our relationship with our spouse), boredom, long wilderness experiences (read- extended periods of waiting), unbelief, complacency, lack of teaching, vision, unconfessed sin, and the list goes on...

In the last couple of weeks (maybe longer?) I too have felt an awakening deep within. I'm not sure if it's a re-awakening, or something new - a deeper part- waking for the first time. I do know that I have found such solace and renewing strength from the Spirit as I’ve entered into His gates with praise and thanksgiving. In the last couple of days, as I mentioned in my prior post, one particular cd has been played over and over at my house, and particularly "Open the Gates", and "Awake!" as well as the title song on that cd just resonate within me right now.

I've found that when the Lord moves me so strongly through one or two songs in particular like this, there's good reason, and I'm learning to tune into the fact that spiritual battle is being waged. Time to wake up, hunker down, that I may stand.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

There was one year I'll never forget, a very hard year on many fronts, that I listened to one cd, over and over, receiving my very life-source from the Spirit, His Ruach HaKodesh, through worshiping Him during those hours. She's still one of my favorite voices. My kids remember going to sleep in my bed, by her music.

The Lord has been wooing me to get BACK into the habit of daily Bible reading/journal time with Him, and memorization of Scripture with the kids… I have felt such a soulish hunger, a spiritual thirst.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Truly, it takes a proactive effort to get up, once one wakes up, rather than to just lay there in a groggy stupor. I am glad to be awake, and I am listening to the songs of praise that the morning birds sing to my soul, songs of promise and new life. I must only stop... be still. and sit. down. at the table that He - My CREATOR- the GOD of the Universe has already prepared for me and partake of Him, Living Bread, the Manna from heaven that I do need a fresh supply of daily. How much have I missed already for hurrying past Him, as He waits for me?

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Technorati Tags: attachment parenting, co-sleeping, motherhood, sleepwalking, spiritual awakening, spiritual sleepwalking

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Listening to: Jami Smith - Needy
via FoxyTunes

Lately, as you may have noticed, I just simply haven't been blogging much. And as all blogging sabbaticals are, it's been good... I'm glad to say that I have, however, been writing, just not publicly. I've turned, once again, to recording my thoughts in a private journal, with old-fashioned pen and paper... and it's been refreshing, familiar and wonderful, like spending time with a comfortable old friend. I shall continue in this good habit of writing privately, a renewed love of mine with multi-faceted rewards that blogging simply cannot duplicate.

I have lately felt absolutely no obligation to blog, which is good too. To be honest, in the past when I've thought about blogging, (or my lack thereof) I've either been plagued with

1. an irrational, self-induced sense of guilt for not keeping up with this hobby better (by what/whose standards anyways?! I dunno... like I said, it's completely irrational, and probably due to hormonal spells of obsessiveness), or
2. a sense of relief at not even thinking of it, or
3. upon a quick perusal of blogs perceived to be fancier, more focused, smarter and deeper (better *ahem*) than mine (by my already faulty, backwards perspective) have fallen prey to that sinister temptation of comparing mine to there's (and yes have had to repent for my sorry sense of purpose and covetousness) and thus been overwhelmed with a sinking sense of failure OR
4. have even actually even considered pulling the plug altogether just to be truly free from the madness! *laughing smirkily here*

I had confided in a couple of friends that I'd considered this recently, quitting blogging (yes, seriously). And as good friends do, they just listened... I think that my main reason being to escape that feeling of obligation to this machine and its endless trappings and tentacles which have at times, over the three years now that I've been at this, wrapped intrusively around my heart... stolen way too much of my time, and rediculous though it may be, even paralyzed my musings with the felt expectations or supposed reactions and perceptions of the many nameless visitors that find me here each day (my stats show that I'm averaging 41 visitors a day right now -not much to some, but still daunting to me, and that's without my even writing regularly or commenting elsewhere, and it easily jumps up to 60+ when I'm actively posting more regularly... scary thought). I'm the type that, if I think about it too much, actually begins to get a bit nervous at seeing all those virtual eyes looking my way, thus my recent questioning...

I'm glad to say now though, that after further consideration, and I think just by working through all of this prayerfully for quite some time, and even leaving it altogether alone for spells as well, I have come to a good place. I'm resolved... I will continue to blog, or not... without obligation. I know, I know, it's all so simple really! Why all the hullabaloo anyways?! I guess one could say that I'm just one of those who tendeth to thinketh too mucheth... too mucheth. *smiles* And I know it to be true, but knowing this doesn't negate the reality created within me to be dealt with... It's all rather hard to explain actually, the spiritual/mental and emotional wrestlings I've had over blogging, all of which most bloggers will most likely understand anyways without my even having to explain, and others probably not, no matter how much I explained.

As I wrote to a dear friend of mine last week, who did recently switch her blog to "private" (meaning that only her friends who are invited and signed in by password can visit it):

Yeah, I get all creeped out sometimes too, if I think too much about how *public* my blog is... and lately I've even questioned whether or not to continue with blogging. The thing of it is though that I just love to write/share sometimes, it's such a great creative outlet. I tend to vacsillate back and forth between wanting to be more transparent and open/meaningful in my writings OR just wanting to pull the plug and shut it down completely! *lol* ...for feeling overexposed I guess, can't win! *lol*And here recently I've had a couple of local ladies, whom I've now met in real life, find my blog and shared with me how much it (my writings?!) ministered to and encouraged them. So... I feel like the timing of it was maybe timely encouragement to me not to just delete my blog entirely (yeah, I've actually considered it, heh!)... I dunno though, I've also considered just going private, because my family really does like keeping up with it, I think it must be true what Chris says, I'm just fickle.

Also, lately I've been so painfully aware of how fast the days are flying by, and determinedly making the most of my time with Nathan and Tabitha, who are growing up way too fast... and the same with little Savannah's baby-days, just savoring holding and playing with her so much. So, between that and keeping the house relatively clean (another recently more fulfilling conquest that blesses us all), laundry done and cooking, spending time with hubby, coop, shopping, etc. not much time is left for blogging anyways it seems. And the last few times that I got out and read some other peoples' blogs, I was left with such a sinking feeling of how sorry and shallow my ramblings of late have been too... and that's brought me to where I've left it, that I just don't care if I have nothing profound to say, it's just there for me to write in when I want to or am able, nothing more, nothing less. How was that for a nice run on sentence? And I've prayed that it would be a tool for the Lord to use to encourage others as He sees fit, in all its simplicity, and apparently He has, and even let me meet the ladies personally, and I did meet you by way of it too... so I guess that's His way of maybe saying it's alright, and don't make more or less of it than what it is... so I basicly don't think about it too much. Did that all make sense?

And I'm reminded of all of the wonderful, dear friends and acquaintances that I've made via blogging... really amazing, special women that have challenged, changed and inspired me tremendously over the years... ladies I've come to love and respect... Not to mention how rewarding its been to me personally, on so many various levels, to have learned to write with such regularity, to reflect more often through written words than I would have otherwise these last few years...

Then a couple of days ago I came across this post over at Julie's blog, blogging without obligation, and could so identify as I felt such a sense of relief just to read my own recent thoughts on blogging written out in such a simple, concise manner. I guess it's sort of comforting to be reminded of how common my perplexions are among other bloggers. And so, this is why I'm adding that cute little "blogging without obligation" button to my sidebar, simply to remind myself… should those old obligatory, smothering self-induced expectations of blogging vanities return to nag my mind, that I blog without obligation.

And so, blog I shall... because I do love to post when inspiration strikes, as it can be so cathartic, fruitful and worth every bit of effort spent, when kept in balance. I would afterall like to continue this blogging journey. Recording my family's adventures here and sharing with you all bits of my own mental and spiritual wanderings as I'm able has become a sort of artistic endeavor for me, and one that I'm now reassured, once again, has my Lord's blessing... so long as I do it without obligation to anyone but Him... which is ultimately what I've sought to know and what matters most to me, and I'm leaving it at that.

Look to yourselves, that we do not lose those things we worked for, but that we may receive a full reward.

2 John 1.8

Father, may I not turn aside from Your plan and purpose for my life each moment of every day... Lord, keep me in Your Way. Thank you for continuing to teach me to number my days, that I may gain a heart of wisdom. May my scribblings and time spent here on this blog and elsewhere online somehow contribute to Your ultimate good and great restoration within my own heart and those whom I come into contact with.

And here is what I picked up from Julie's blog (though originally found here) a short list of reminders for obsessive types like myself. It makes me laugh because it's so true...

Blogging Without Obligation
If you feel the same way feel free to grab the logo, make a logo or whatever you would like to do!

I release all the logos, thoughts and words mentioned here about this concept into the public domain. Take the idea and run with it. . .or walk away. It is all good.

• Because you shouldn’t have to look at your blog like it is a treadmill.

• Because its okay to just say what you have to say. If that makes for a long post, fine. Short post, fine. Frequent post, fine. Infrequent post, fine.

• Because its okay to not always be enthralled with the sound of your own typing.

• Because sometimes less is more.

• Because only blogging when you feel truly inspired keeps up the integrity of your blog.

• Because they are probably not going to inscribe your stat, link and comment numbers on your tombstone.

• Because for most of us blogging is just a hobby. A way to express yourself and connect with others. You should not have to apologize for lapses in posts. Just take a step back and enjoy life, not everything you do has to be “bloggable”.

• Because if you blog without obligation you will naturally keep your blog around longer, because it won’t be a chore. Plus, just think you will be doing your part to eradicate post pollution. One post at a time. . .

If you have ever felt sick and tired of churchianity…and felt Father drawing you to something else…something more real…more intimate…more simple, then please pray and consider joining us in this study.

I would like to extend an invitation to all of my friends and readers here to join me and some other ladies (gents?) in a study we started yesterday. We'll be reading through and discussing a study put together by Mike and Sue Dowgiewicz of Restoration Ministries Int. that can be found here, entitled Discussing How to Restore the Early Church. Our study is being hosted by Julie of Seeking the Old Paths and so far she's posted the first two parts, here and here, which I have printed out for easier reading.

It's a lot to read each day, especially since I'm looking up all of the Scriptures as I go, so I may not keep up with Julie's pace, but I will be posting each portion of the study as I go, along with my own thoughts, which will inevitably set my posts back behind hers a ways. Please do join me if you're interested, and let me know. It would be great if you would post your own thoughts on your blog or in the comments section over at Julie's blog, if you do decide to study with us. I promise that you will find it interesting, to say the least... I'm challenged already.

I don't know about you, but this has been a topic of great fascination to me, from the time that I began to think about, question and realize (about 10-11 years ago) how very different the concept of discipleship within the Church is today from what it was in the first century, and how very relevant and important an understanding of the Hebraic culture and mindset of yesteryears (context of the Bible) still is to my Faith walk today... and how it colors my understanding of the Word of Adonai (or lack thereof), and its translation into my daily walk with Him.

I still consider myself such a fledgling in understanding the things of God, and do so look forward to growing closer to Him as I seek to hear His Voice daily. I hope to post some of my thoughts on as I go through this study. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to write about something though, and just get so overwhelmed with where to begin and how to proceed that I just end up writing nothing at all. That's the sort of writer's block that I usually suffer from... so many ideas jumbled together and bottlenecking that very few end up coming out. Hopefully I will overcome that particular hindrance.

I'm somewhat familiar with Restoration Ministries, since I'd read a few articles from their website a few years back when I was researching home churching. I found the "I Hate Nicolaitanism" article particularly encouraging, validating and thought-provoking. I remember sharing excitedly of all that I'd read with Chris. I haven't gone through this particular study though, and am very excited to see what the Lord has in store for us as we read and share this message together. When Julie asked me join her in this study, I knew right away that it would be very timely for Chris and I as we're seeking Him for direction right now in quite a few areas. I also thought that it might provide a good opportunity for some of you to delve deeper into the Word with me, and to learn more of our great heritage as well. It should also be a good catalyst for me to write/share some more about our journey down this path on my blog, as well as some of our recent struggles as we've been in this time of transition during the last couple of years... intimidating topics that I've been considering and wanting to write more about for some time now.

For a long time -since we'd first begun learning of our Faith's Hebraic roots, about ten years ago- we'd remained within the mainstream Church, but definitely felt like outsiders in many regards, wondered why these Truths weren't being taught (besides by our Sunday School teacher that introduced us to this during an in-depth walk/study through the Book of Genesis), and just kept pretty much under the radar, as we began to celebrate the Biblical Holidays. We've also rejected all notions of replacement theology, as we've learned to recognize it for what it is. During this time, we've been able to share with a few friends we've met from various congregations (as we've had a few interstate moves during that time) of the wonderful treasures that we were finding in our studies along these lines, and have hopefully inspired a few to pursue these studies on their own.

In the last year we've been blessed to worship and study with our local Messianic congregation, though we've still not been settled within our spirits as to what direction the Lord would have us go... as far as regular fellowship and coorperate worship goes. We're still attending our weekly Bible/book study with our friends from the Messianic congregation, and still enjoy the comradery and loving fellowship of friends we've made from a local non-denominational church that we'd been attending the first couple of years that we've lived here. But Chris and I are going to start having a more formal study time together each week during the Sabbath, home-church starting with just us if you will, as we seek our Lord for what direction He would have us to go from here... We'll be going through this study together as we do. I think that it's a good place to start, again...

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

~ Ecclesiastes 3.11

Banana pudding is one of Chris's most favoritest desserts, and I'm thinking that it will hit the spot later this evening, being cold and refreshing. He's out there working on caulking all the cracks on the exterior of the house before he paints it... in 90 degree weather, today, again, on the wknd., his "day off".

I am just so amazed at how hard he works. Every day these past couple of weeks has been SO HOT here in NE TN, and how my heart and prayers have just gone out to him over and over as I think of him out there trudging through the mountains of Scott Co., VA, climbing those cable poles, in the hot sun ALL day long (and he's been working over-time), to provide for me, our kids, our home! What a blessing he is, and how I do pray that the Lord will soon provide him with an easier job, something not so hard on his body, with more security (stability, benefits, workman's comp. would be nice)... How his heart has been heavy with the cares of this world lately, and the stresses of applying for other work. But how the Lord is blessing him for his faithfulness as well. He just received another raise from his boss this week, who is no doubt impressed with his tough, committed work ethic.

I am so blessed to have such a devoted, hard working and wonderfully loving man. And so anyways... I've just made him some banana pudding (trying this new recipe found below), a small gesture I know (but hey, I'm about to have another one of his babies, that's huge, right? Heh!), but it's something, and it will be good (I hope)... especially with the cream cheese in the mix. And I just pray that the Lord will help me to be the wife and friend he needs for today, and tomorrow, as we travel through these valleys and years together... I am thankful for the many blessings our Lord is bestowing upon us, even in the midst of trials. I can see how the Lord is strengthening Chris's inward man daily through all of these things, and for that I am thankful.

May we ever praise Adonai, as we trust in His plan for us, even when we're not sure of the road ahead. I am so thankful for my soul-mate, my closest companion on this journey, my man... And because I added "ode to my man" to the original "banana pudding" title of this post (which has taken on a life of its own), I 'spose I ought to take a moment here to write a true "Ode", right? Heh! Okay then, here we go...

 

Spontaneous Ode to Chris

...just because...

I love being your wife.

Even in the midst of strife

We've built a solid, happy life.

You've become my very soul

And as the years do roll

by one by one~

I've discovered myself within you,

And in knowing our children.

Our love

Teaches me to live,

How to give.

Thank you for your faithfulness,

Your honesty and patience.

And as I mix together

this bit of indulgence...

I thank our Lord for you~

Your laughing eyes,

Deep thoughts, concerns,

Passionate ways,

All the memorable days,

The joys and triumphs,

The arguments and sorrows

Have all led to stronger tomorrows.

Your commitment

to us, your family,

Means the world to me.

Funny, I did not mean for this to be a post about Chris, etc. I had originally intended to merely share this great recipe I just whipped up and put in the fridge to chill and try out... but, here I've ended up going on and on about how thankful I am for my Chris. Guess it needed to be said... he's been on my heart alot lately I suppose.

Banana Pudding IV

found @ Allrecipes.com

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (I used a little less, about 3/4 of the can, so it wouldn't be too sweet.)
• 1 (5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix (I used a little more, two pkges. of 3.5 oz.)
• 3 cups cold milk (added a bit extra, since I had a bit more pudding mix, and less of the cond. milk)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed (I used real whipped cream, of course!)
• 4 bananas, sliced (I used 5 large bananas)
• 1/2 (12 ounce) package vanilla wafers (I used more than half the bag, made sure there weren't any holes, yum!)

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in condensed milk, pudding mix, cold milk and vanilla until smooth. Fold in 1/2 of the whipped topping.
2. Line the bottom of a 9x13 inch dish with vanilla wafers. Arrange sliced bananas evenly over wafers. Spread with pudding mixture. Top with remaining whipped topping. Chill.
3. My note: After pouring the pudding mixture over the layers of wafers and bananas, the 9x13 pan was totally full, so we're just adding a dallop of whipped cream on top of each serving.

It could happen to any one of us, at any time... life is so precious, these mortal bodies so feeble, but the spirit so strong, and His Grace is sufficient. I just read of what this brave Mama is facing today, and my heart is broken. I had a different post to share, but it can wait. Right now all I can do is cry for this precious sister, and pray, and hope for her, and for her family.

Will you join me in praying for Heather?

Here I sit, finally... decidedly determined to try and just write something, anything, just for the sake of the writing itself, lest I never blog a post again. Sounds drastic, I know, but lately it's how I've felt. Why blog? Why bother? And so, my days have passed without a thought for the world of writing, reading on the internet, news, commentaries, blogs, etc... Nope, just not there right now. And it's been rather nice, a timely reprieve I guess. I seem to have lost that bloggin' feelin' completely... so, sorry that you haven't heard much from me. Now you know why...

I guess it's maybe just that so much is going on in my head lately, and I'm at odds with myself in many regards right now... or am I just hormonal? I know, I know, I'm probably not making much sense, huh? LOL This is why I just haven't been blogging. Sometimes I get frustrated because it seems that the thoughts/issues and ideas, etc. that I'd really like to write about and openly rant or question, I just don't have the nerve, time or energy to throw out here into such a public forum/place as a blog, and keep up with any conversations or discussions that may ensue. Even though it's technically MY place, my blog... I think that I tend to steer away from really sharing my strongest and deepest writings because I'm so ever aware of the possibility of so many others reading, misunderstanding and possibly being offended, or hurt, or angered, or etc., etc. Not to mention my own inability to even formulate into words what I'd like to say! LOL Also, lately, I'm finding myself more and more content to simply say nothing at all...

I know, I probably just think way too much, and it's not like I have anything really profound to say or anything... but in the end, it's basicly leaving me tongue-tied... wordless, and empty feeling in my "blogging identity", since I *feel* like I'm not truly able to enunciate what is heavy on my heart, or pressing my mind. I've always pretty much been a private person anyways, and maybe that's partly why the idea of truly keeping a public journal is a bit daunting to me sometimes (ya think?!), but especially when I'm going through times of alot of turmoil and working things out spiritually, mentally, (and now physically- with the pregnancy hormones raging and all)... I'm left with what I guess would be termed "writer's block", "brain freeze", whatever.

So yeah... my brain is mush, and I'm frustrated with myself for not being myself better... expressing myself, engaging with my readers more, my kids more, etc. and, well... whatever. Thus, lately I've been writing in my real-life 3-D paper journal, with my pen... simple and private, nice and safe, more my speed right now. And that's a good thing. My daughter enjoys it, as she's taken to sitting beside me with her own journal in hand. So... I guess I am writing afterall, just without having to think about anyone reading over my shoulder, editing, etc. I'm sure that eventually I'll probably be getting the blogging bug again... but meantime, you may not hear much from me for awhile. We'll see, I don't know really... just rambling my thoughts here.

All really is well though, overall, on the homefront. I wanted to touch base with my friends and family here and let you all know that. Yes, I'm having some stressful days lately, caring for the two babies, toddler and my own two has been pretty hectic... but I just keep reminding myself that the income is a necessary blessing right now, and I'm thankful for it, to be home WITH my own kids, to have our bills paid, etc. We're counting on Chris's eventual pay-raise (as promised by his boss, but yet to be concrete time-wise) that would compensate for my eventually letting two of the kids go. Then I'll probably just keep the 11 month old baby girl throughout the duration of my pregnancy. I still haven't decided about whether or not I'll continue to watch her after our little one is born in August... hopefully, we'll have the financial wherewithall by then that it will be only an option, not a necessity.

Chris's work has been stressful for him here lately too, for various reasons. In the last 10 work days, he's missed 4 days because of rain, which means no $ paid for those days, and we cannot afford rain-days like this, very discouraging for us both. But as always, I'm sure we'll make it... it's just mentally and emotionally tiring... especially wondering over whether or not we should be planning to sell our house asap, and rent, to free us up to move if he's offered a job with a larger company (like BellSouth or Embarq) that would provide benefits and salary (ie; he'd still get paid for rain days), AND he'd be covered by workman's comp., which at this point, working as a contractor, is not an option, which is risky.

We had a bit of a scare a few weeks back when the pole that he was on snapped at its base (rotten he's guessing?), and down he went with it! He was quite banged and bruised up... and the pole was live- hooked up to electricity- so we're just so thankful that he is okay, and didn't fall on any tools, break anything, nor get electrocuted. So yeah... workman's comp. would be nice. He didn't even go to the doctor because he's stubborn, and didn't want to pay out of our pocket for x-rays, etc. *sighs*smiling, shaking head* He's still a bit sore.

I was honestly a bit nervous about telling him that I'm pregnant, with all of the other things going in our life right now. I was afraid that it would be another felt pressure to him. But when I told him, tears came to his eyes (good ones), and he smiled with joy. How relieved I was, and blessed I am to have such a wonderfully loving man for a husband. He truly is such a strong and gentle Father to our children. I'm so excited about having another child together... we're at such a different place in our life together now, in our marriage. It will be a unique experience, and I'm really beginning to look forward to meeting this little one the Lord is gifting us with. So far, I've had two dreams that he? is a boy...

Oh Lord... help us to be steady and strong as we stand through this storm of uncertainty and looming unknowns... guide our decisions, our thoughts, keep our hearts stayed upon You, and ever faithful to eachother and your plan for our lives together. Thank YOU for always being more than enough...

So, dear friends, please bear with me as I take a blogging break. I do hope to be taking more pictures though soon... and making art. I'm sure that I'll be posting these. Right now, I think that's what I need... creative outlets that don't require alot of conscious thought. LOL Lately, I've found myself enjoying cleaning up (deep-cleaning) various rooms in the house. I mean, I'm actually enjoying it, which is unusual. It's very satisfying to be getting rid of stuff, sorting, organizing and simplifying... yet again. This weekend I did the bathroom closet, which is deep and had piles of stuff in the bottom of it. I also did my bedroom (cleaned and even rearranged- with Chris's muscle help), and am moving my scrapbooking desk to the breezeway I think. Now, I'll finish T's bedroom, which we'd started earlier in the week.

Anyways, I hope that you're all doing well, and have had a wonderful holiday so far. May you and yours be blessed in 2007! We're going to spend the evening with some dear friends of ours, whose house we've brought the past two New Years in at. We usually eat and drink treats and play cards all night. Though this year, no java for me... and I'm wondering if I'll be able to stay up as late as usual (2-3 a.m.)? So when we called our friends up to see about what they were doing this year, did they have any plans?, they said that they were hoping we'd come over to party, as now, it's TRADITION! Yes, it's relaxing having couple/family friends to chill with~ food, friends, fireworks and fun fellowship until the ball drops, and beyond! My hope and prayer is that this year will be a year of greater vision and focus for me and my family. Time is short... make the most of your adventure through life with your loved ones!