the brew*crew adventure

I haven't participated in this meme before, Blogger Friend School, which provides a weekly "blogging homework" theme. As I was browsing through some of the amazing blogs listed over at the HSB Awards, I clicked onto this week's theme for the BFS, and was totally inspired to join in, since it goes hand in hand with thoughts and observations I've been having here in the last couple weeks anyways. Technically, I believe that the "assignment" is supposed to be posted on Tuesday?, but in my natural way, I'm posting mine a day two days late!

 

The passion to sing, the passion to draw, the passion to build, the passion to ride, the passion for reading, the passion for nature… the list is endless. Some children exhibit their passion from day one, others need an experience to spark that passion.

Assignment: Share a field trip/lifestyle learning experience where you really felt you were bringing good things to life for your children, where something came alive for them, or ignited a passion.

This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately... the facilitating of that passion to learn, to build and to creatively express ones self; that desire to grow and to become something great that's within us all, my own children specifically, manifesting itself in so many various talents. As a parent and my children's primary instructor, it's important to me that I culture their God-given abilities and desires, bringing these good things to life, if you will... while at the same time realizing that I truly am not taking the lead... in that it's not all up to me to conjure these up in my kids. Rather, I'm watching, listening, and waiting on the Holy Spirit to show me their intrinsic giftings, and praying for His guidance as I plan our studies and their activities.

As I'm doing my best to daily immerse our kids in an engaging learning environment and introducing them to a variety of inspiring subjects, I am delighted to be discovering their passions with them, and comforted in the remembrance that these precious soul stirrings and that ultimate quickening of their spirits towards Him are all individual workings of His Spirit within them, as we're learning to walk out His Word in our lives together, and therefore not solely dependent upon me, nor anyone else. I need but tune in to them, and especially their Creator, while keeping my eyes wide open to the opportunities abounding in each moment as we journey together each day, lest I miss those small sparks that would ultimately kindle their passions and thereby could someday even dictate their very livelihoods.

I have found that with our oldest daughter, 9yo T, who is my "go-getter", this is an easier thing to recognize; her passions. She talks about it, and initiates doing stuff working towards that end on her own. When she's inspired, the results are much more extravagant and obvious than when our 12 yo son, N is impassioned. He tends to discover passions (like writing, dance, reading a certain book, horse riding) after I've suggested he try something out. Lately I have been fascinated over the inter-connectedness of their blossoming personalities with the opportunities they've been offered thusfar in their young lives. I'm left to wonder over how beautifully it has all worked together... and question which came first, a specific passion or was an experience the catalyst of curiosity turned to desire? I've been musing over what the ramifications of these truths could be, not only in my kids' lives, but in my own as well.

And we know that for those who love God, that is, for those who are called according to his purpose, all things are working together for good.

~ Romans 8.28

It's certainly a mystery profound how the Sovereign Lord choreographs our very lives, nurturing those seeds of talent He placed within us, even as He knit us in the womb, while simultaneously allowing the free-will of our individuality. It's caused me to consider the weighty responsibility Chris and I have as parents to introduce our children- His children- to a wide array of possibilities, directing them toward His truths, and presenting them with an assortment of rich ideas for their minds and hearts to grow upon. Gradually, I am learning to recognize when the "education" is doing its work within them, and to therefore not snuff out the tiny flames which seem yet so insignificant by my own lofty unrealistic adult-perspective qualifying standards, set mostly by pre-conceived ideas of how learning "should look"... Meaningful learning does not necessarily mean a finished *project*. I'm learning to look with my child-eyes again.

For instance, the other day when T showed me the language she's creating for the characters in one of her stories, my first teacherly-Mom thoughts were along the lines of, "well, that's not a real language... why should she be wasting her time and all of that good language interest and energies with this when we could be working on our Latin or Hebrew?" Thankfully, in the next instant, I realized that I was witnessing a beautifully genuine representation of this child's love for language and passion for writing. And so the thoughts I expressed to her were those of encouragement and "why not?, how clever!" and musings over the inceptions of various languages.

But that was not the only challenge along these lines that either one of my kids have thrown at my feeble mind in the last couple of weeks. Last month N, who's been taking guitar lessons for just over a year now (that was his own inspired idea, which he faltered in when it came to the monotany of daily practice), announced to me that he'd like to come up with his own song to play at our co-op's end of the year student presentations ceremony... I immediately had to shush my overly-conservative, doubtful-of-his-being-ready-to-do-that thoughts right up. After months of laboring resistantly through daily practicings on his guitar, he's made it over some kind of mental hump, and now usually plays daily (without my having to tell him to!), and tells me he absolutely loves it. He was also greatly inspired by the movie August Rush. As we're driving home from his lessons, he often tells me excitedly of what he's learning, and how encouraging his guitar teacher is. Just last week his instructor told him that he could play his own songs without having any music written out(?!), and could even learn to play chords he hasn't yet formally learned, just by intently listening to a piece of music and then copying what he hears. Imagine that... I am so thankful for the many wonderfully inspiring people that have been God's vessels of instruction for our kids  (and myself) over the years, what evidence of HIS faithful provision! On so very many levels, this whole parenting/homeschooling business has been such a growing experience for my own faith levels.

And I know that I've mentioned here before of how my daring daughter gets these crazy inspired ideas to do things that are much bigger than any goals I'd ever set for her. I've seen how God has been faithful to send others into our lives to facilitate dreaming and passions that I could not... but I'm apparently a slow learner. Usually my first (natural) impulse is to caution her and help her to pare her visions down a bit, set her sights more realistically... but her fervor and insistence that she can and has already counted the cost of a conceived endeavour has once again inspired me, and as I've let go of the reigns I had moments before fearfully rationally tightened my grip on, I've been further delighted to see how God has sent others to come along side of me/us to see that her fans are flamed and help set her on the path to accomplishing these fantastic goals that I couldn't have orchestrated or provided for on my own, let alone have even decided upon.

Once again, this week it seems that another request, prayerfully offered up by a girl with bigger faith shoes than I can fill has been fulfilled by a generous Father.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows...     

~ James 1.17

T has praise in her heart. She loves to put on worship music and dance before the Lord enthusiastically. It's something that I've enjoyed doing with my kids since they were babies in my arms, twirling together with hands lifted high. T told me on Monday that she'd like to choreograph her own dance to a Third Day song and perform it at the aforementioned homeschool co-op student presentation ceremony. I gulped down my doubts, astonished at her brevity, again. She proceeded to explain her plans to me, and I just nodded along as I listened, knowing better than to discourage her resolve. "I'm going to ask Mrs. Jamie (her dance instructor- that's another testimony we have of His great provision for us- scholarships for dance lessons) to help me with my moves and figuring it all out." "That's a good idea." "Okay then, you'll have to wait for me a little bit longer after class so that I can talk to her about it." I agreed. And after her dance class ended on Tuesday, I watched as she gingerly approached her teacher, holding her passion close, encased in a dream that she proceeded to share with a trusted confidante. To my great surprise and delight, Jamie agreed to help her and meet with her a half hour before her class, every week- for free! I went back and checked with her myself after T told me, just to make sure it was really alright! Is that crazy-generous, and just like God, or what?! Needless to say, T is so excited about it that she's on fire now, and has asked a dancing friend that we carpool with to join her in the dance! She's been busily drawing and dancing up her choreography plans. Here's what she's got so far:

I tried getting some pictures of her dancing, but she wouldn't cooperate.

She did, however, allow me to take some pictures of her practicing on her violin. This - her opportunity to play the violin this year- is another story of her aspirations met by the willing Hand of Providence.

T has wanted to take violin lessons for years. I believe that the desire was probably first sparked sometime in her toddlerhood, when we spent a great deal of time with friends, whose then highschool daughter played the violin beautifully. She would watch and listen to her play intently every chance that she got. She began asking for lessons a few years ago, but we couldn't afford private violin lessons, and neither Chris nor I can even read music (something which both of our children are now learning to do quite well -without us!).  As I do, I told her that I would join in her praying that if it be His will, that He would provide an avenue for this opportunity for her. Then last year, we were blessed with the means to pay for N to have the private guitar lessons I mentioned above, and she so wanted the same. She confided to me of how she was struggling with jealousy and I reminded her that he too had been waiting for years for music lessons. Her time would come... and to be patient. Meanwhile, she decided to master her recorder and used the book that it came with to teach herself to read music and play quite a few folk songs. She joined a class offered at our co-op for the recorder, and took heart in my reminder not to despise small beginnings.

Then, to our delighted amazement, a wonderful lady decided to teach a strings class at our homeschool co-op this year, specifically violin and cello. T was beside herself with excitement over this opportunity to finally learn to play her instrument of choice - the violin. Now... if only we had a violin. I prayerfully sought the Lord, trusting Him to provide this too, knowing that with Him in it, it would all come together. Chris and I knew that it would have to happen cheaply to be feasible for us. Then towards the end of last school year, it came up at our Bible study with some friends that T was so glad to be looking forward to taking a violin class at our co-op, and since this friend had played for years, we asked her for suggestions concerning our finding a used violin for T. To our thrilled astonishment, she offered to loan T her own beautiful violin for as long as she needed it.

Time and again I have been blessed to see God's orchestration of timely provision for our children's passions, in both their inceptions and continuity. As their Mother and primary instructor, I find rest in knowing that it is not up to me to bring all these good things to life in their worlds,

      ‘ Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’
Says the LORD of hosts.

~ Zechariah 4.6

but rather I am just an open conduit of His loving kindness and purposes for each of them, His unique creations.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Memory Verse: Philippians 4:8

In conclusion, brothers, focus your thoughts on what is true, noble, righteous, pure, lovable or admirable, on some virtue or on something praiseworthy.

My blog here was actually nominated in the HSB Awards for "Best Unschooling or Eclectic Homeschooling Blog 2008"! so if you feel so inclined, I'd really appreciate your vote! ...though I hardly feel worthy to even be listed among so many wonderful homeschool blogs! There are some really GREAT homeschooling blogs listed there in ALL of the categories so be sure and check them out! You WILL be inspired and encouraged, I know that I certainly have been subscribing to some new favorites! Be sure and check them all out, and then VOTE for your favorites!

...in which I shall parallel post with Birdie, who does so often seem to exist in a universe parallel to my own...

This time, Birdie wrote a wonderfully insightful, honest post here about momma/baby-induced and spiritual sleepwalking. It's deceptively short, encompassing so very much more than is apparent at first glance, so much of what I myself have been going through, but at a loss of words for... I guess that I can just relate to her post there on so many levels right now that I thought I ought to go ahead and post about it too, sleepwalking that is. Birdie, you've inspired me with words, which I've been so short of lately, hope that you don't mind my hi-jacking your thoughts and running with them?

...sleepwalking, naturally momma.

First, on being up throughout the night with Baby S... and feeling like I'm sleepwalking through many of my days. There was a short time, when she was a few months old, and still sleeping in her co-sleeper beside my bed, rather than in our bed, as she does now, that she'd started actually sleeping through the night, or most of it anyways, only waking up once or twice. I do still usually put her down in her co-sleeper to start out the night, but now that she can, as soon as she stirs enough to notice I'm not beside her (usually within an hour or two) she crawls right over to me and snuggles so sweetly down beside me. It's become a habit that I adore, and one that Chris and I have decided is in her best interest to continue to allow (as well as our own>>sleep).

When I asked Chris if he thought that I should try and transition her to sleeping in her crib, now that she's almost one, he said no, that she still feels like too much a part of me. I'd have to agree with him, in that it would probably be too traumatic at this point, for all involved... I just wanted to give Chris plenty of room to let me know if he wanted me to change our sleeping arrangements. It helps that we have a king-sized bed too... couldn't do this in a double, or even a queen (for us).

I do, however, sometimes refer to it jokingly as "the dark side of attachment parenting"... as she often sleeps literally... attached to me. *snicker* This is where the pacifiers came in handy with my other two babies. Though I enjoy it too sometimes, it's not always the most comfortable arrangement for me. The bright side though, for us, is lots of cherished moments of closeness that could be had no other way which are undoubtedly laying a forever foundation of lovingly woven soul ties. There's also the fact that she'll be one year old next month and I still haven't had my monthly return yet. It's been almost two years now since I've had to deal with it! Gotta love that.

Yeah, sometimes co-sleeping (or not) can wear a Momma out... However, I prefer it the way it is now, for the most part. And now that she's napping on our bed well, alone, every afternoon, the world is brighter, I'm having more time to do other stuff... feel like I'm awake way more often! She still doesn't sleep much though, during the days, for a baby! I guess it's all that good sleep she's getting next to me each night. Heh!

Like Birdie, I too enjoy my night-time hours with the baby and the Lord, alone. It was the same way with N and T, and I've mused over this idea that the Lord gave this time of solitude to us Mothers, especially designed it even, as a window of opportunity to pray for their souls as we nourish their bodies and emotions through the dark of night. I really don’t mind that baby S usually wakes me every couple of hours for a suckle before sighing off back to sleep beside me… I actually will often even relish it, and find myself whispering lucid prayers that vanish with the morning light. But that's just me.

The thing is though, that except when she's having a particularly restless night due to teething, regardless of the fact that I've been woken by her numerous times in the night, I find that I now sleep very well with her beside me and am actually more well rested than I was with N and T when I was getting up and going to fetch them out of their cribs to tend to them, and standing over their cribs for loooooong minutes on end trying to console them back to sleep... or laying in my bed, listening to them cry for me in the next room. I think that made for many more days of sleepwalking than does co-sleeping with baby S.

And, as is the way of things... the natural realm is so often paralleled by the spiritual... sleepwalking, naturally momma.

Like Birdie, I too have recently felt like I’m coming out of a sleepwalking sort of fog, not only physically, but spiritually as well. I tend to get so caught up with tending to everything around me that I find I've neglected that which is most important, just sitting at my Master's feet, and making a point to guard that time, not only for myself, but for my family's sake too.

I think that this sort of spiritual atrophy happens naturally if we're not proactively working against it, and is thus a condition we as Believers must be on guard against, lest we be lulled into dull slumber for much of our spiritual lives. I do believe that it can come from lots of things, familiarity (how many of us have found ourselves sleepwalking - on autopilot- in our relationship with our spouse), boredom, long wilderness experiences (read- extended periods of waiting), unbelief, complacency, lack of teaching, vision, unconfessed sin, and the list goes on...

In the last couple of weeks (maybe longer?) I too have felt an awakening deep within. I'm not sure if it's a re-awakening, or something new - a deeper part- waking for the first time. I do know that I have found such solace and renewing strength from the Spirit as I’ve entered into His gates with praise and thanksgiving. In the last couple of days, as I mentioned in my prior post, one particular cd has been played over and over at my house, and particularly "Open the Gates", and "Awake!" as well as the title song on that cd just resonate within me right now.

I've found that when the Lord moves me so strongly through one or two songs in particular like this, there's good reason, and I'm learning to tune into the fact that spiritual battle is being waged. Time to wake up, hunker down, that I may stand.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

There was one year I'll never forget, a very hard year on many fronts, that I listened to one cd, over and over, receiving my very life-source from the Spirit, His Ruach HaKodesh, through worshiping Him during those hours. She's still one of my favorite voices. My kids remember going to sleep in my bed, by her music.

The Lord has been wooing me to get BACK into the habit of daily Bible reading/journal time with Him, and memorization of Scripture with the kids… I have felt such a soulish hunger, a spiritual thirst.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Truly, it takes a proactive effort to get up, once one wakes up, rather than to just lay there in a groggy stupor. I am glad to be awake, and I am listening to the songs of praise that the morning birds sing to my soul, songs of promise and new life. I must only stop... be still. and sit. down. at the table that He - My CREATOR- the GOD of the Universe has already prepared for me and partake of Him, Living Bread, the Manna from heaven that I do need a fresh supply of daily. How much have I missed already for hurrying past Him, as He waits for me?

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Technorati Tags: attachment parenting, co-sleeping, motherhood, sleepwalking, spiritual awakening, spiritual sleepwalking

What type of Mother Hen Are You?
by Montessorimom.com: Educational Resource

Found it over at Marye's.

I never thought much about it really... When I had our first baby, twelve years ago now (!?) I certainly had never heard of the term "attachment parenting". It wasn't until recently, in the last few years actually (color me naive I guess) that I even gave it much thought, and yet I've learned in the last few years that that is and has been my parenting style, which I've come by quite naturally and instinctively, and have grown more accustomed to and comfortable in with each of our babies.

In the last few years, I've also learned about parenting styles totally appalling to me, such as those taught by the Pearls and the Ezzos, and have found myself so thankful that I didn't fall in with any of these teachings, and likewise, concerned for parents with their childrens' best interests in mind who may be caught unawares by the extremity of such teachings. I've wondered how much my own parenting style would have been influenced, as a young, new mom, had I been surrounded by proponents of such methods? Lately I've been giving it even more thought as its come to my attention that someone at our church is hosting a "Growing Kids God's Way" class, which I even thought about crashing! Naaah, I wouldn't really... hah!

With baby S, our now 6 month old miracle baby, I have found myself so blessed by the intimate times I've had nursing her at our own leisurely pace, unhurried, snuggling in our bed with her and falling asleep to the sounds of her contented sighs. I've been so thankful for the Arm's Reach co-sleeper that a friend gave me, and the convenience of being able to place her in it or pick her up without even moving from my spot in our bed (though she ends up snuggled in our own bed, beside me, half the time). There's nothing like being woken up by a sweet little one groping at your face with trusting, pudgy little hands. It's so nice to not have to get up at night with her, I think that we both are so much more rested for it.

This time around, I've also laughed to myself, thinking of how absurd and awkward (if not impossibly stressful) it would have been for me to try and follow a feeding schedule of my own making with her after her birth. I remember that I didn't get any sleep the first couple of days after she was born, because all she wanted to do was nurse and sleep at my breast. She never has taken a pacifier (I tried, but she'll have none of it) and since the hospital wouldn't allow her to sleep in my bed, I just laid there with her in a delirium. As soon as I'd put her down in her warmer and start to nod off, she'd be crying, looking for me...

She nursed every couple of hours for an hour at a time during those first few weeks. And even now, we've found that what works best for us, is for her to nurse every 2-3 hours still, on one side only, alternating sides, else she spits up everything she eats. Sometimes she'll nurse a bit more often, and sometimes she'll go longer without nursing, especially if we're out. She seems to adapt to our daily routines and outings very naturally. Usually she sleeps through the night pretty well. But these last couple of days, with her having her first cold and not feeling well, she's been doing a lot of comfort nursing... and I'm so thankful to have the confidence to go with that. But then, I've found that rigid routines and schedules really don't work in any part of our lives around here for that matter!

I've wondered over how very alert baby S is most of the day, and how intently she peers over the edge of her sling, sometimes curiously reaching out to touch what's around us as I go about my day, but usually content to just watch everything. I'm treasuring all of this time we have together, savoring every moment of her babyhood, so grateful to have her home with us, beside me more than not. I love that Chris feels the same way and enjoys wearing her himself, or snuggling up with her in our bed too. Our two older children cannot bear to hear her crying either, and would be absolutely horrified if I were to ever let our little baby "cry it out".

We've all found that ap parenting not only provides soul nourishment for our children, but for us as parents as well. And to this day, our 12yo son and 9yo daughter still prefer to go to sleep in our bed, and that is where Chris prefers to read their devotionals to them and tuck them in at. Then, after they're settled in with their own books for evening reading, and often times have fallen asleep, he'll walk them into their own beds for the night. It has been with regret that they've moved this tradition to their own bedrooms recently, on the evenings that I'm putting baby S down at the same time.

Anyways, this is what's worked for us! I do realize that the topic of parenting styles is innately controversial, and a totally personal matter too. I would not presume to know what's best for every family, but I did just want to share what's worked for us, and countless others, especially since it's been on my mind an awful lot lately. And I did want to take this opportunity to point out the potential downfalls and dangers of certain other methods (via the links).

It has been with timely interest that I've recently read this series of posts that Leslie linked to, the tale of one Mom's journey in understanding her own parenting style. This lady has shared of discovering God's plan for her and her own miracle baby, of learning to trust God, and herself as He showed her His Way for her, as a Mother. I spent a few evenings reading all six posts and the links within them as well, and found myself relating on numerous levels (namely identifying with the benefits of ap, nursing on demand, and even experiencing soul healing from nursing baby S). If you'd like to better understand some of the issues concerning the Ezzo's teaching versus attachment parenting, as well as witness one woman's journey from one side to the other, then do take the time to read these articles. I was certainly blessed in doing so, and thought to do my part in sharing them by linking them here.

• Here I raise my Ebenezer. #1
• Ebenezer 2.0
• The Ezz and I (Ebenezer 2.1)
• Ebenezer — A Threepeat
• Ebenezer 2004 — Our First Outing
• Another Ebenezer — Reading is Fundamental
• Ebenezer — A Second Chance
• Ebenezer 2006 — A Gavin is Born!
• Ebenezer Vista — The Big Outing
• Ebenezer — The Meeting
• Ebenezer — The Chapter

As a point of interest, here's a related post, concerning the implications of the Pearls unbalanced teachings on marriage, I wrote a couple of years ago: Created to be His Helpmeet & A True Story~ My little piece of iron

I've so much to say, and have been wanting to blog for quite awhile now. It just seems like every time I've sat here at the mac, I've either got a baby eager to grab the keyboard in my lap (so end up reading only), am distracted and pulled away by either a cute baby's needing me, another child's wanting/needing this or that, or hubby's starting up a conversation because I'm sitting here without children all around, and he's been home a lot more than usual, due to the weather or just a lack of work (not good)... and of course, I love to listen and talk with Chris, so blogging's been trumped a lot lately... and no, I've not felt obligated to blog, but have truly had the itch, have even been composing some wonderfully engaging and thoughtful posts in the shower ... but alas, down the drain they did go before I could type them out. Hopefully I'll be able to retrieve them from my muddled mommy brain.

Let me see, to start with, a picture for you, of my sweet baby and I. This is one of her favorite places to be, riding along on my hip. Whenever she sees me put on my sling now, she gets all excited and it's just hilarious how she kicks and even laughs in delight. I wish that I'd known about these with N and T, since I still carried them around everywhere like this, but without the extra support.

More to come, so stay tuned...

and everyone who has a Mom, THIS- the Mom's Song is hilarious! Chris and I are were laughing so hard... go ahead, just click it, you'll be glad that you did.

Well, last night I had a few real crampy contractions, and this morning found that I had spotted during the night... I continued to have spotting this morning, along with some more intermittent contractions, which are now, this evening, getting much stronger and more consistent. I took the kids to a local park today, figured it'd give me a chance to walk around, keep busy and there was a big homeschool group meeting there from one of the co-ops we're joining this year, so it was nice to be there and meet some more Moms. Then I came home and did the laundry, straightened the house a bit, just keeping busy.

So, I'm getting excited now, hoping, hoping! She's due tomorrow, wouldn't it be a hoot if she came on her actual due-date?! I know, I know... even with the spotting, actual labor could still be a week away, but I'm thinking she'll be here sooner than that, since I'm having the contractions with the spotting, and now the contractions are getting so much closer together, varying between every 5-15 minutes or so... I'm about to go marinate in a nice warm bath, try to relax with some chamomile tea and get some sleep tonight.

I told Chris that maybe, he just might not be going to work tomorrow. Chris mentioned how surreal it all is, the reality of a baby's being on her way to us! And I agree... but it sure is starting to feel more and more real to me by the hour! Thank you for your prayers... won't be too much longer I don't think...

12:00 a.m. update

Contractions are definitely getting stronger- have to conciously breathe and relax, and coming at more regular intervals of about every 5-6 minutes, but only averaging about 20-30 seconds at this point. So, everything's pretty much in order, the house is quiet as everyone is sleeping and I'm about to join them myself, hoping maybe I can get some sleep too, if these contractions don't keep me up that is.

I just printed out an extra copy of my birth plan to have on hand in case when (if) I show up at the hospital, it's somehow gone missing from my chart. Anyways, thought to paste a copy of it here too. I'm just so thankful that our dr.'s and the charge nurse of the labor & delivery unit where we'll be have all said that it looks great and totally agreeable to them. I'm thinking/hoping that it will be about as great an experience as one can have at a hospital... we'll see!:

 

Chris & Beth's Birth Plan for our Baby!

Mother-to-be: Beth Husband/Father & Attendant: Chris
Due Date: 08/21/2007

Practitioners: *,*,* Place of Birth: ***
********************************************************************************************
This birth plan is intended to express the preference and desires I have for the birth of our baby. It is not intended to be a script. We fully realize that situations may arise such that our plan cannot and should not be followed. However, I hope that barring any extenuating circumstances, you will be able to keep me informed and aware of my options. Birth is a natural life event and I hope to have my baby naturally, foreseeing any complications! Thank you.

First Stage (Labor):

• I hope to spend as much of this stage at home as possible.
• Dim Lights.
• Peace and Quiet as much as possible.
• Music of our choice, if preferred.
• Would prefer to keep vaginal exams to a minimum.
• Capped IV to maintain mobility (Walking, rocking, go to bathroom, etc.)
• Eat and drink to comfort.
• I prefer Intermittent Fetal Monitoring.
• Relaxation techniques (breathing, focusing, etc.).
• Positioning as desired.
• Water (Shower or Tub) to help relax.
• Heat or Cold packs.
• Massage (back, foot, counter pressure, etc.).
• I don’t want elective induction, but would rather go home if not in active labor.

Second Stage (V*ginal Birth):

• Choice of position for pushing, and use of birthing ball (can bring my own), squatting bar (if available) or hydrotherapy (shower).
• Spontaneous Bearing Down
• We would like to possibly take pictures of the birth.
• I’d like to view the birth using a mirror, if possible.
• I’d like to touch my baby’s head as it crowns.
• I would prefer to risk a tear, rather than have an episiotomy.
• Please use Local Anesthesia, if necessary for repair of a tear.
• Please do NOT rupture my membranes to speed labor, unless I give my consent or request it.
• I prefer to NOT get oxytocin after I deliver the placenta.

Baby Care:

• Delay the umbilical cord clamping and cutting, preferably until it has stopped pulsating, to allow placental blood into baby.
• Prefer Chris to cut the umbilical cord.
• Delay the eye medication, and all other procedures that aren’t urgent, so that I may hold baby immediately after birth.
• Breast-feeding as soon as possible after delivery, Mother’s milk only.
• I plan to breastfeed exclusively. Please NO formula or glucose water.
• 24-hour rooming in with my baby.
• After delivery, I’d like all procedures done in my or my husband’s presence, and of course with our permission. Thank you.

In case of Cesarean Birth I’d like:

• Husband present at all times
• Video/Pictures taken
• Screen lowered or mirror so I can view birth
• Free one hand to touch the baby
• Chris to cut the cord
• Breast-feeding in recovery room

In case of Sick Baby:

• Breast-feeding as soon as possible after stable
• Unlimited visitation for parents
• Handling the baby (Kangaroo care, holding, feeding, care of, etc.)
• If the baby is transported to another facility, move us as soon as possible.
· Use all technology available for the support of baby’s life!
·No supplemental feedings. MOTHERS MILK ONLY! Pumped or by Breast!

Thanks so much!

After a couple nights of being kept awake with heavy contractions, my friend Cindy is I'm sure relieved to have finally delivered her beautiful, healthy baby girl yesterday afternoon! Congratulations Cindy and family, on the arrival of Ms. Victoria Carole, 7lbs, 4oz., 19-1/4 in.!!

Her hubby writes:

The last two nights of constant contractions finally paid off! We set out for the hospital at 5:30 this morning, and labored until around 12:45. My warrior of a wife Cindy was wearing thin after 6 hours of hard contractions, so we decided to tear the sac to speed things along. Within 10 minutes, we had our newest addition.

Cindy is an amazing woman. She delivered Victoria completely naturally, enduring some heavy, heavy contractions that made me wince with pain. And she still looks this good only an hour after delivery! God has blessed us greatly, and Victoria has a wonderful God-story of her own.

We called the kids...the boys were only mildly excited for a girl, but Olivia was overjoyed.

Thanks to you all for your prayers and friendship. I'm off to ease Cindy's hunger pains (a Reuben from Poor Richards Deli).

I was so excited for her yesterday that I ended up dreaming about her and her baby last night!

Cindy, I can hardly wait to see you and your baby! You look so amazingly great in your pic, and that girl is absolutely A-DOR-ABLE! I'm delighted to hear that everything went well, and can hardly wait to hear ALL about it!!

Okay Susie, now it's your turn, and then I'm next!! Oh, happy, happy days!

As I'd shared earlier in my last baby stuff update, I'm trying to decide upon which type of baby carrier to buy for our little Savannah girl. I was laughing to myself this morning when I considered that though this will be my first time using a baby carrier (besides my own arms), it won't be my first experience in wearing our babies. Nope, I remember wearing T everywhere, on my hip, and how my right arm and shoulder would end up hurting like crazy, from being in that same holding position for an hour or two at a time. My lower back suffered as well, from having my hip cocked out half the time for her to sit on, esp. the bigger she got... not very practical, but she was happy, and it was just what came naturally, to hold her and carry her around with me. So, needless to say, I'm really looking forward to having a carrier this go around, and this is an important decision to me, since it's going to be something that I'll probably be using daily.

I was just reading and relating to a post over at My So-Called Homeschool, of another expectant Mom who's facing the same dilemma... how to decide which carrier to buy? Her post got me looking closer at the Asian Mei-tai (one of my previously mentioned choices) inspired Kozy carrier. I do think that I've finally narrowed down my choices though, thanks to the wonderful input that I received from a few of you after my inquiry. THANK YOU! I'm definitely going to go with an adjustable wrap, for its versatility, and so that Chris can wear our baby as well. I mean... look here at all of the ways that you can wear a Kozy; front, back, side, with a toddler or a newborn even. So, I'm thinking either a Kozy carrier or a padded Maya wrap/sling.

Also, for all you Moms out there who are also looking for a good baby carrier, there's a 4th of July baby carrier giveaway going on right now, over at 5 Minutes for Mom! I'd love to win one of those MetroWraps, which remind me somewhat of the Moby wraps I'd mentioned earlier.

Hat tip to My So-Called Homeschool for the July 4th Giveaway info. (go check it out, there's more!). I've also entered to win the Krups Ice Cream Maker and Rosanna Sweet Dreams Bowl Contest. Mmmm... wouldn't that be fun to use.

Well, I'm now down to 9 more weeks to go, if she holds out to 40 wks., which I have no reason to think she'll do otherwise at this point. My OB's scheduling me for appointments every two weeks now. At my last appt., last week, her heartbeat was strong, and I'd gained three lbs. in the last month (which was good, since I'd gained 8 lbs. the month before), for a grand total of 17#'s gained so far. My blood pressure and sugar levels were good, and I do feel really well overall, other than the occasional lower back pains (which my lower back exercises and stretches are keeping in check- the dromedary droop and the tailor stretch are my faves) and a single varicosity that has appeared in the last month, and becomes quite painful if I stand in one place too long (mainly I notice it if I'm spending alot of time cooking or baking in the kitchen), or sometimes while I'm sleeping at night it starts that dull, aching feeling.

I'm sure hoping that our little bean's not growing bigger than N and T were (8#10 oz. and 8#11 oz., 21.75" and 22" long), but my belly sure does seem BIG! And I cannot remember if it was this big at this point with N and T, or not? I need to break out the old pictures I guess. I really need to do that anyways, and get to working on N and T's scrapbooks, if I'm planning on having them done before little Savannah arrives. Is it even possible at this point?! ...with all the other stuff I want to get done?!

Yes, we've finally decided on the order of her names, she'll be Savannah Abigail, and we're already calling her Savannah. Chris is now making a point to talk to her each day when he gets home from work, it's so sweet. One day when he got home, she'd been really calm all day, but as he began talking to me, telling me all about his day, she started jumping all over the place within a minute of hearing his voice. It was really cool... she knows who her Daddy is already.

I was reading Martha Sears's The Breastfeeding Book the other night before bed, and I ended up dreaming about our little girl ALL night long! I usually wake up like on the hour, every hour, just about EVERY night (except last night, I woke up every two hours, must have been extra tired), having to go pee and every time I woke up that night, it was from a different baby dream. I kept dreaming of trying to help her latch on properly (but all she wanted to do was play and look around), that she wasn't nursing enough, and I was so worried that I wasn't making enough milk! I also dreamed that delivery was so quick and eventless that I couldn't even remember its happening, and I felt sorta cheated. Somehow, I don't think that will be the case!

After dreaming about her all the night before, as you can imagine, I was in full-blown baby nesting mode all day yesterday. I ended up setting up her changing table in Chris and I's room, got all of her clothes for the first few months arranged, folded and put away in three little drawers beside it (in a mobile storage caddy thingy). I'm glad that I did go ahead and do all that already though, because it was very awkward to be sitting down on the floor for so long, and getting up and down to hang a few things. I ended up with a very sore back last night. I can imagine how much harder it would've been if I'd waited longer. Now all we have to do to be completely ready for her is set up her co-sleeper beside my side of the bed, and order diapers. Also, I've a few more things that I'll be needing, some of which I'll have to get myself (like nursing bras and a nursing gown maybe), and some of which are on our baby registries. Something I've been having a hard time deciding on is what type of sling to buy?!

My sis, Sharon, has and loves her New Native sling, so that's a definite consideration, and there's the Mamma's Milk slings that are basicly the same design, with more print options! Another friend of mine, Cindy, recommends a Moby wrap, which I also like the look of (esp. its versatility, though all that wrapping and tying looks a bit daunting), and then there's the classic Maya wrap. I like that Chris could easily wear either one of those too. Also, just to complicate my choices here, I've read some great reviews and recommendations for the Asian Mei Tais as well, which I'm really liking the look of, though they're about twice the price of the others. I especially like the BabyHawk ones. So, anyone out there who's tried a couple different ones and has an opinion, or thoughts? Anyone want to decide for me?! heh! I'm having a really hard time here choosing which one to go with, wish that I could just get two maybe... hmmm... maybe I will, start out with the sling-style, and then get a toddler BabyHawk Mei Tai? But then, will I even want to wear my toddler?! By then, our kids are pretty big! So, anyways, that's my latest dilemma.

Though we've decided not to do the whole cloth diapers thing (I was seriously considering it), we have decided to make our own washable baby wipes to use at home (I'll still buy disposables though, just for on the go). My friend Susie encouraged me to do this, and I really am looking forward to picking out some cute prints on soft, flannel material and making these. She also sent me the following recipe.

There are several recipes you can use for cloth wipes. Here is Diaper Pin's favorite:

• 2 or 3 drops of tea tree oil.
• 1 tablespoon of Dr. Bronner's soap.
• water.

To hold your wipes you can use an empty disposable wipes container or a wipes warmer.

And why, you may ask, did we decide not to use mainly cloth diapers afterall (because I'll still keep a few around for the girl to wear around the house/air out in)?

Well, I'd love to be able to help us really save some $, and Chris has already been wondering over how we're going to fit diaper expenses into the budget. Also, Chris and I wanted to avoid exposing our baby's little bumm, 24 hrs. a day, to all the chlorine, latex/dioxin chemical stuff that's in most disposable diapers (one of those things we didn't even know about, nor think to consider, with our first two babes). So, I was considering investing in some cloth diapers, and using them at home, and disposables only when we go out. But then I started reading about how the cloth diapers need to be soaked, then washed in hot water (which I figured was necessary, especially since you can't bleach them), and go through another wash and rinse cycle, etc. Problem is, we don't have a hot-water hook up to our washer... nope! There's no hot water heater out there in the utility room yet (though it's on our list of things to do eventually), and I was not particulary looking forward to having to transport the diapers to the tub for every hot wash cycle, or washing them in there by hand either. I did that as a kid, for my Mom, washed the clothes in the tub many times, and it's no fun, and not good for the 'ol lower back either.

But I thought, hey... if it'll save a significant amount of $, then it could still be worth it, so I was still considering! I even enjoy hanging laundry out on the line too, it's relaxing to me when the weather's nice, and so homey to see it out there blowing in the breeze. And I do have two little slaves *er* kids around here to help with all that too, right?! So, that's what I was thinking, but when I shared all this with Chris, he's thinking that it just sounds like too much extra time-consuming stuff to keep up with consistently, and also was concerned with how much more it would cost us weekly anyways, for so much extra hot water use so regularly right now. A friend told me about these really cool diapers that are out now, g diapers, which are all natural, but aren't cloth or disposables. But they are out of our budget range for now, for sure, so Chris told me to check and see how much it would be to order the "green" chlorine/latex-free 7th Generation diapers by the cases from Amazon... so I did.

It turns out that once you break the price down ($42/case, and qualifies for FREE shipping!), it comes to a mere $8.75 per 40 diapers (sz. 2), which is even cheaper than the el-cheapo generic regular disposables from WalMart. So, that's what we've just decided that we're going to do. Only we're going to order them here instead of from Amazon, for the same great price, and with free shipping. Chris says that he'd rather work that reasonable expense into our budget somehow than for me to *try* and keep up with the cloth, which I was gung-ho about trying, but he's not convinced that it would be all that more cost efficient for us really, once we pay for the extra electric/hot water, baking soda, diapers, my time, and then still wind up buying disposables for when we're on the go too. At least that's one decision we've been able to make, finally! And I'm happy with it.

Well... okay, I know, I know... ALL babies are miracles really, gifts and blessings from God. But these two babies are especially special to me, because they very well could/would not have been, if not for the faith and drastic measures taken by their fathers (men among men I tell ya, to have gone "under the knife" twice!), because they have been prayed for, and hoped for, for so very long, because they represent healing (in more ways than just physically, but also emotionally and spiritually), because they represent an ever-burning hope in the miraculous, and their mothers' faith in the Lord's intentions to bless her family with life more abundantly, even when it seemed physically impossible.

This is a pic of my friend Cindy and I, taken week before last. We're both pregnant with our very own miracle babies, both of which were conceived after our husbands had vasectomy reversals. Chris had his vas reversal in December of 2004, and her hubby had his in April of 2006. She's due this month - June, and I'm due in August. We were just talking this morning about how great it is to see how far the Lord has brought us, and to be able to "bump bellies" now, when this time last year, her hubby was recovering from his reversal, and I was recovering from the loss of Chris and I's first reversal baby.

Another dear friend of ours, Susie (whose baby-shower is tonight!) is also pregnant and due right between Cindy and I. I wish that I had a pic of all three of us together, but I forgot to bring my camera to Cindy's baby shower, when pics of us three prego women were being taken, and have yet to even see the pics that were taken of us together there. What fun it is to share in this miracle of life, and being pregnant together! Our Lord certainly is merciful... to think how hard it would have been for me, to have gone through this season with so many friends expecting, and not been myself. I'm so thankful that He opened up my womb and allowed Chris and I to conceive another life, and for me to be healthy, and carrying her to term.

Chris and I have decided to name our miracle baby either Savannah Abigail, or Abigail Savannah... we still have to decide which we'd rather call her daily, Savannah or Abby... Either is really fine with me, but I do think it would be fun to have an "Abby and Tabby"... but in deference to Chris, I also said Savannah would be fine.. He, in deference to me, says Abigail would be fine... and so, we are in a stalemate of indecision, typical of us really! N and T may very well end up choosing which name goes first!

Abigail is Hebrew for "Joy of the Father" or "Father's joy"... and of course, I cannot help but to admire the Abigail of the Bible, the wise and courageous woman who ended up marrying David, after her own husband died. Abigail is one of my favorites, my choice.

And Savannah is one of Chris's choices, his favorite, which he'd actually suggested a couple of years ago even, for if we ever had another girl. It's Spanish for... *drumroll*... "open plain" or a "treeless plain". Heehhehehe, yeah, I know, I know, not much there at first glance (another initial hurdle for me to get over before being able to *accept* it, once I'd gotten past its geographical association), but then, once we thought to put it with what I'd settled my heart on, Abigail... I got to thinking... what does a "treeless, open plain" make you think of... maybe a desolate place?... yet fertile too... Well, then I just fell in love with the whole name... because it seemed like it had come together perfectly, confirmation (name meanings are significant to me, can you tell?) if you will.

This little miracle baby is the first I shall hold in my arms after years of mourning over our hasty decision to have the vasectomy in the first place. She would not have even been if Chris hadn't had his vas reversal, and even after his reversal, it took over a year for us to even conceive our first post-vas baby, and then to lose that baby I'd dreamt of, and longed for, for years was so hard... and then also, the time of this little baby's conception, right before our baby Judah would have been born had we not lost him... strange to think of really. It certainly was an "open plain", desolate, yet fertile time in our lives together as a family. What a blessing to have received the news of our expecting a new life at that time. I just know that she is and will continue to be just that, the seed of hope, and JOY sent from our own heavenly Father, destined to be, even as we mourned, though we didn't know it yet through all those years... and she will certainly be her earthly "Father's joy" and reward, I'm sure.

Yes, I just have to say that again... She will be the "joy of her Father" in the midst of a desolate (yet in the Lord's hands and providential timing, fertile), hard place/time in our lives (in so many ways)! We have learned and gained, and still are learning and gaining so much through this season in our lives. The Lord has never forsaken us, but has grown us and worked it all together for our good, and she is evidence of that, a reminder of one of His many promises fulfilled. And I just know that this baby girl is the seed/promise of the now realized answer to a long-held and fervently offered prayer of mine, for us. Already, I cannot imagine our lives if we hadn't made the decision to welcome more children into our family. And I know that this little girl will be a blessing to us all, forever a reminding evidence of what joys will be added to us when we choose to trust our Creator... heavenly treasures.

*Note* Only 2.5 more months to go!! I can hardly believe it!!

My latest cravings have been for: crispy, juicy apples, bananas smothered with peanut butter, meaty sub-sandwiches-toasted with lots of mayo, pepper-jack cheese and fresh tomatoes- preferably with potatoe chips and a dill pickle on the side - for crunch (it matters!), and Hershey's milk chocolate...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

~ Romans 8.28

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

For by it the elders obtained a good testimony.
By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

~Hebrews 11.1-3

Thank you to my Mothers, who have loved and forgiven me much, and to my Grandmothers, who have watched over me, and now my own children, expectantly.

Blessings to all of my Mothering friends, as you nurture your own little baby birds. I thank you for your comradery and daily inspiration. May you enjoy this day.

Thank you to my darling Christopher for giving me our children, this gift of motherhood, and for working so hard that I may live daily with them, at home...

Thank you Lord, for this immense life, love and joy of Motherhood. Every single Mother that you have placed in my life has taught me something valuable.

love~ Beth

Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
For those that wander they know not where
Are full of trouble and full of care;
To stay at home is best.

Weary and homesick and distressed,
They wander east, they wander west,
And are baffled and beaten and blown about
By the winds of the wilderness of doubt;
To stay at home is best.

Then stay at home, my heart, and rest;
The bird is safest in its nest;
O'er all that flutter their wings and fly
A hawk is hovering in the sky;
To stay at home is best.

From Birds of Passage. By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"We Have a Beautiful Mother"

We have a beautiful
mother
Her green lap
immense
Her brown embrace
eternal
Her blue body
everything
we know.

- Alice Walker

 

You must wake and call me early, call me early, mother dear.

- from the May Queen, Alfred Lord Tennyson

Ode to Mothers, from my son N:

"Moms rule, Dads drool!" ....hehehehehe (though I'm sure I'll be drooling on Father's Day!)

(and what he wrote in my card was much more thoughtful by the way, made me cry even!)

An Oracle his Mother taught him... from Proverbs