the brew*crew adventure

Last Thursday Chris got off work early and so he came home and went to work around here (as he usually does). He's been building a new shed, which is quite impressive. I've been taking pictures, but as you regulars know, alas, cannot load them here for awhile. Just know that it's nice, concrete foundation, solid wood frame, all steel sides and roof, and one huge window... he went all out. We're using our tax refund money for this so that he can get his stuff out of our garage turned workshop, so that he can finish out the garage into two rooms and an extra bathroom... eventually.

Anyways, he was out there working, did something, slipped and his forearm came down on a corner piece of metal. He then had a nice-sized hole/puncture wound in his arm, which was just gushing pouring blood (thank You Lord that he didn't hit an artery!). I was inside with the kids, had just gotten baby S down for a nap literally minutes before (good timing) when he came rushing inside, holding his arm, with blood dripping down it. He immediately started snapping orders, "Beth, I need you... NOW! Get me some dental floss... I need a needle... "

Oh, no, I thought... *gulp* I knew where this was going. You see, about six years ago, he'd busted his knee open loading a moving truck and ended up sitting in the tub, sewing it up himself! I immediately started freaking out counseling him to let me take him downtown to the Urgent Care walk-in clinic. Why did I even fight him on it? I dunno, you'd think that I know this stubborn man well enough by now to know better. By now he had ice and a rag on his wound, and I was gathering supplies for the inevitable, even as I pleaded with him to let me take him... the gash was in his right arm, and therefore he was asking me to do the sewing this time.

Have you ever tried to sew up skin, with a regular sewing needle? Me neither, but I've seen it done... skin is tough, and stretches, and resists, it's not like cotton cloth atall.*sighs* As usual, he won. I relented right before he would have started getting really mad, when I saw that he absolutely wasn't going anywhere and would have sat there doing it by himself if I didn't help him. Yes, he would have. And so I began sterilizing our assemblage of supplies as he leaned over the kitchen sink, pouring iodine into his cut. I was thinking out loud...

Wouldn't it be good to get a tetanus shot?

He shot back, The metal is clean, brand new, don't need one.

Well, what about an antibiotic, in case of infection?

There won't be any infection if we keep it clean...

I know this... so, why am I worrying so? I thought, Must be the blood... Finally, I conceded, completely this time, sat down on the stool in front of him, and began to try and sew up my man's arm.

Well... I was shaking a bit, not out of nervousness, but because the needle just would not go through, which apparently made Chris pretty nervous though. He then had me hand the needle (threaded with waxed dental floss- just in case you were wondering- and held by pliers, to push and pull it with) over to him and he proceeded to sew up his right arm, left-handed, which must have been hard because he's right-handed! I was just relieved to not be doing it, and content to hold the cut together for him. It certainly must have been very helpful in making it easier for him... you think, maybe? I had to kinda roll the skin so that he could get the needle through more easily. Well, he said that it helped anyways. I noticed that he, too, was shaking as he sewed, which he said was from the strain of pushing that needle through (though I waited until later, when we were done to point that out).

Between gritting his teeth, and a couple of "aaarghs!" (it wasn't very numb), Chris was commenting on how we really do need to get us some real surgeon's sewing needles and assemble a good better first aid kit. I commented that if it's ever the kids or I that need sewing, it's to the doc we're going! LOL We counted down the final stitches, only one more to go!

He reminded me that once upon a time, before there was a doctor down every street, what do I think people did? And with the way things are going in this world, we may not always have such easy access to doctors... we need to learn to be more self-sufficient in the things that we can be... at least.

Yeah, okay, he's right... We'll assemble a nice, ready-for-anything first aid kit... but I sure do hope that we won't need it, and as long as he's able, he's taking me to the doctor to get any stitches that I may need, along with some local anasthetic.

All said and done though, I am impressed! By the time we were finishing up and he was in the shower, we would have just been sitting down in the waiting room of a walk-in clinic. It was red and swollen for the first day. However, now, four days later, it's healing up quite nicely, barely even red. Of course, Chris feels most triumphant in that he saved us a couple hundred bucks... What a man will do when he's got nerve, and doesn't have insurance to pay his bills, huh? What a tough guy I have, and what stories for his kids to tell. So, am I a model help-mate, or what?! LOL Seriously though, Chris is my hero... frustratingly stubborn as he is sometimes.Technorati Tags: self-sufficiency, sewing self, medical, crazy

Banana pudding is one of Chris's most favoritest desserts, and I'm thinking that it will hit the spot later this evening, being cold and refreshing. He's out there working on caulking all the cracks on the exterior of the house before he paints it... in 90 degree weather, today, again, on the wknd., his "day off".

I am just so amazed at how hard he works. Every day these past couple of weeks has been SO HOT here in NE TN, and how my heart and prayers have just gone out to him over and over as I think of him out there trudging through the mountains of Scott Co., VA, climbing those cable poles, in the hot sun ALL day long (and he's been working over-time), to provide for me, our kids, our home! What a blessing he is, and how I do pray that the Lord will soon provide him with an easier job, something not so hard on his body, with more security (stability, benefits, workman's comp. would be nice)... How his heart has been heavy with the cares of this world lately, and the stresses of applying for other work. But how the Lord is blessing him for his faithfulness as well. He just received another raise from his boss this week, who is no doubt impressed with his tough, committed work ethic.

I am so blessed to have such a devoted, hard working and wonderfully loving man. And so anyways... I've just made him some banana pudding (trying this new recipe found below), a small gesture I know (but hey, I'm about to have another one of his babies, that's huge, right? Heh!), but it's something, and it will be good (I hope)... especially with the cream cheese in the mix. And I just pray that the Lord will help me to be the wife and friend he needs for today, and tomorrow, as we travel through these valleys and years together... I am thankful for the many blessings our Lord is bestowing upon us, even in the midst of trials. I can see how the Lord is strengthening Chris's inward man daily through all of these things, and for that I am thankful.

May we ever praise Adonai, as we trust in His plan for us, even when we're not sure of the road ahead. I am so thankful for my soul-mate, my closest companion on this journey, my man... And because I added "ode to my man" to the original "banana pudding" title of this post (which has taken on a life of its own), I 'spose I ought to take a moment here to write a true "Ode", right? Heh! Okay then, here we go...

 

Spontaneous Ode to Chris

...just because...

I love being your wife.

Even in the midst of strife

We've built a solid, happy life.

You've become my very soul

And as the years do roll

by one by one~

I've discovered myself within you,

And in knowing our children.

Our love

Teaches me to live,

How to give.

Thank you for your faithfulness,

Your honesty and patience.

And as I mix together

this bit of indulgence...

I thank our Lord for you~

Your laughing eyes,

Deep thoughts, concerns,

Passionate ways,

All the memorable days,

The joys and triumphs,

The arguments and sorrows

Have all led to stronger tomorrows.

Your commitment

to us, your family,

Means the world to me.

Funny, I did not mean for this to be a post about Chris, etc. I had originally intended to merely share this great recipe I just whipped up and put in the fridge to chill and try out... but, here I've ended up going on and on about how thankful I am for my Chris. Guess it needed to be said... he's been on my heart alot lately I suppose.

Banana Pudding IV

found @ Allrecipes.com

INGREDIENTS

• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese
• 1 (14 ounce) can sweetened condensed milk (I used a little less, about 3/4 of the can, so it wouldn't be too sweet.)
• 1 (5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix (I used a little more, two pkges. of 3.5 oz.)
• 3 cups cold milk (added a bit extra, since I had a bit more pudding mix, and less of the cond. milk)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 (8 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed (I used real whipped cream, of course!)
• 4 bananas, sliced (I used 5 large bananas)
• 1/2 (12 ounce) package vanilla wafers (I used more than half the bag, made sure there weren't any holes, yum!)

DIRECTIONS

1. In a large bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Beat in condensed milk, pudding mix, cold milk and vanilla until smooth. Fold in 1/2 of the whipped topping.
2. Line the bottom of a 9x13 inch dish with vanilla wafers. Arrange sliced bananas evenly over wafers. Spread with pudding mixture. Top with remaining whipped topping. Chill.
3. My note: After pouring the pudding mixture over the layers of wafers and bananas, the 9x13 pan was totally full, so we're just adding a dallop of whipped cream on top of each serving.

I found this poignant Ralph Waldo Emerson quote over at The Common Room, in this post which also shares a wonderful poem "for the truly married".

"Love is temporary and ends with marriage. Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at- ignorant of what it sought. Marriage is a good known only to the parties, - a relation of perfect understanding, aid, contentment, possession of themselves and of the world, -which dwarfs love to green fruit."

Go, read the poem, you'll be thoughtfully blessed.

I've seen this meme around alot lately, first over at lapaz farm, and just last night I saw where Andrea did it for her anniversary, as I'd also planned to do, 3 weeks ago, for Chris and I's 12 year anniversary (yeah, I told ya I have some catching up to do on this here blog) and thought to myself what a timely/fun meme to do for our anniversary. This morning, I was met by the same meme over at my friend Susie's blog, and thought to myself, "Self, quit procrastinatin', and BLOG already!"

1. Where/How did you meet?
We met at my Mom's church, where he attended while stationed at Keesler Air Force Base, (he'd just returned from Turkey) and I'd visit there occasionally with my Mom. I'll never forget how preoccupied he'd seemed to be when we were first introduced (which he still often is- preoccupied with something- it's a running joke how often he has to do U-turns because he'll drive on automatic, so often pre-occupied with something!), by a mutual friend of his and my Mom's. And I was right, he was pre-occupied, because he doesn't even remember that first introduction!! The next week however, as destiny would have it, we were introduced again, and he invited me to go out to lunch with he and his friends. I'd already had plans to eat with my family, so they promptly invited themselves to come along, so there we were with my Mom, and three little brothers, sitting between us! LOL

2. How long have you known each other?
Well, he'd called me later (had gotten my Mom's phone # from the church directory, and got my ph. # from my Mom) and we'd ended up talking for 5 hrs. That was Dec.4, 1994, the beginning of getting to know eachother, so just over twelve years now.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?
Well, we've been together ever since that phone call, so I guess you could say we started dating that same week. I remember that our first date was going to a movie together with some of my friends from school, we saw the Santa Clause.

4. How long did you date before you were engaged?
Date? Engagement?! Aaaah, who needs it? Well, seriously... we married a mere three months after we first met (and have actually met one other couple over the years who did the same), so I guess that you could say we dated for 3 months.

5. How long was your engagement?
Um, let's see, from the time he actually proposed to the time we got married? Um, I don't remember, days, a week maybe? We wasted no time! LOL

6. How long have you been married? 12 years and three weeks.

7. What is your anniversary? March 10, 1995.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?
Only a handful, from my family and a couple of my friends from school. But then my sweet, thoughtful, priceless Mother-in-law (hi Mom!) held another reception for us in FL (where we'd moved to by then), the following August, where I met many of Chris's friends and family. My Mom drove up from MS with my brothers for that too.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?
A white sheetcake with peach and yellow frosting, store-bought (at our first little reception) and a fancier layered cake at our larger reception, same colors.

10. Where was your wedding?
It was in my Grandparent's lovely backyard, under their big magnolia tree, with Spring blooms all around, in Biloxi, MS.

11. What did you serve for your meal?
No time for a meal, we had cake, punch, opened a few gifts and were off for our honeymoon to FL. I don't remember what we first ate, something on the road between Biloxi and Orlando.

12. How many people were in your wedding party?
4 - us and two witnesses, my sister as Maid of Honor and my oldest brother served as Best Man for Chris. My Papaw (Mom's Dad) gave me away.

13. Are you still friends with them all? Yes.

14. Did your spouse cry during the ceremony?
Yes, I saw a few tears, and he was grinning from ear to ear.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?
Saying the vows together, how both our hands were shaking as we held hands, and the unity we shared as we prayed together and joked/bragged about how "in tune" we were/are, that first kiss as "man and wife".

16. Any funny moments?
Yes. Right before we proceeded to say our vows, my grandparents' white cat walked right in front of us, between ourselves and my uncle, our licensed minister. We all laughed at what good fortune this must surly be bound to bring! Hah! Then, my aunt gave us a decorative pillow that says "Tonight" on one side, and "Not Tonight" on the other, which gave everyone chuckles.

17. Any big disasters?
Nope! Well, except that the film for many of our pictures during our honeymoon never caught on the reel of my el-cheap-O camera, so we were missing lost of pics we'd thought we'd taken. aaaargh! It still frustrates me to think of it! ;(

18. Where did you go on your honeymoon?
Disney World, Orlando, FL (I'd never been) and we stayed at the Red Roof Inn. It was fun.

19. How long were you gone? One week.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?
I would've liked more of Chris's family and friends to be there. But we had no extra time, nor money, and families and friends in different states. He'd just gotten discharged from the Air Force the day before, so had no place to live and we planned to move to FL right away, since my last term of school was just ending as well. So, since we wanted to be married when we got a place together in FL, time was of the essence. If we could do our honeymoon over though (aaaah, which we will one day), we would, in an old cabin somewhere out in the mountains/middle of nowhere.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
My side. When looking at the bed, the left.

22. What size is your bed?
King. And if the kids had their way, it'd be bigger (more room for them).

23. Greatest strength as a couple?
Complete trust in eachother, and the fact that we always talk things out, never stay mad at eachother. Also, we're so much alike in so many ways, and though we're both quite opinionated, we see eye to eye on most issues.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?
Hmmmm... I dunno, plenty, but I'm not sure of the greatest? I'll have to confer with the other half and get back with you on that one. Off the top of my head though, I'd have to say that we're so much alike in so many ways, that we can also tend to irk eachother.

25. Who literally pays the bills?
It's never been set in stone, there's been seasons when he'd do it, and then I'd take over and vice versa. Lately I do most of the time.

26. What is your song?
I don't know! Never have really had "a song". Some romantic songs he likes are Dreamweaver, and Take My Breath Away... I know they must just remind him of me, of course, but we've never considered them "ours". There've been a few sappy others we've gotten all silly over with eachother over the years, but can't think of 'em offhand. We do however have an entire cd that reminds us of our honeymoon every time we listen to it, since we'd played it over and over as we cruised Orlando together... sweet nostalgia.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?
We didn't even have music.

28. Describe your wedding dress: It was a solid creamy peach color, tailored and mid-calf length, with short-sleeves and decorative applique down one side, very Spring (think I still have it).

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?
Peach and yellow roses with baby's breath, silk arrangements my Grandma made. I had a big cascading bouquet, and matching hairpiece, Chris had a matching boutonniere. My sister, Mom, brothers had matching corsages and boutonnieres. They were beautiful, my Grandma had made flower arrangements professionally for many, many years in her own business.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?
Nope, they’re white gold though, and Chris did have them made especially, in the antique-style that I loved, along with an earring set for me. All of the diamonds are special, since they were given to us by his Mom and Grandmother, except the .5 carat center one of my engagement ring, which he bought.

31. How old were you when you got married? I was 21 and Chris was 22.

Please let me know if you decide to do this meme, I'd love to read your answers!

******************************************************************************

I wanted/tried to scan a picture of Chris and I from our wedding day, taking our vows, but cannot get our scanner to work (nor the software to even install, maybe it's not MAC compatible?) So anyways, this pic that N took of us on our 12th anniversary three weeks ago will have to do for now.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been meditating upon thoughts of thanksgiving. I have been especially aware of blessings all around me this last week... gifts from my Father above. As I've been mentally taking note, I've given up on trying to scribble them all down as I think of them... too many, at all points during the day. Here are a few quietly whispered "thank yous" to Adonai... for His vast outpouring of love and mercies. When I take the time to notice, my spirit does sense His hand on my life, His fashioning of my days, calming of my soul... may I live in these realizations of His Presence~ fuller, slower, less of rushing off to the next thing.

Truly, He is immense, and leaves me speechless... one moment pouring blessings to the next, gifts heaping upon gifts. Life is full... without even trying. He is Rest...

I am thankful for...

64. sleeping in on rainy days

65. flannel sheets and pulled shades

66. rumbling box fan and the pitter-patter of little feet

67. hearing a busy shuffling outside the bathroom door, giggles and an explosion of "Surprise" and proudly uplifted giftbag as I open the door, "Happy Birthday Momma" sung gleefully through the brightest of smiles

68. my Chris's sense of humor

69. his love, and the way he says "I love You" when he calls me during the days

70. his words thoughtfully written on a perfect card

71. the way my son always draws a heart with an arrow through it next to his cursive signature when signing cards

72. my daughter's honesty as she writes in her journal

73. her creativity and zeal for life

74. our family's love... cultivated, sacred and shared.

75. Open windows in the Spring and Fall

76. my heavy suede jacket that my sister gave to me, all well worn and perfect for Autumn days spent outside

77. slow roadtrips through these hills of TN

78. stopping to meander through old shops along the way, enjoying Chris's company and that he loves it as much as I do.

79. comfortable jeans that fit just right

80. a new shirt in my favorite color, sky blue

81. Eternity~ my husband's favorite perfume

82. comfy white tennies

83. flip flops and toe rings

84. wearing Chris's flannel shirts

85. freshly laid eggs for breakfast

86. the sour sweetness of my morning lemonade (freshly squeezed lemon with raw apple cider vinegar and honey in cold, filtered water)

87. coffee with cream

88. lazy mornings watching the old b&w cartoons with my kids

89. that my kids like the old b&w cartoons

90. early morning quiet, when everyone else is still asleep

91. hanging laundry on the line, and its crispness when taken down,

92. the wind swirling, wrapping itself around me...

93. freshness in the smell of rain, a soaked ground and wet leaves

94. a car that's running good (still)

95. our friendly neighbors

96. having a house, our home, and the refuge it provides within

97. Chris's thoughtfulness in occasionally asking me if I'm happy, and telling me that he is

98. warmth and familiarity felt while snuggling on a cushy couch with Chris and our children, thick socks and sweatpants, legs sprawling and arms tangling under the blankets, watching and discussing movies, playing games, letting the world go by without us for awhile

99. baking chocolate chip cookies for my birthday, at my son's suggestion

100. the way my daughter measures the ingredients so very carefully, choosing to help me rather than watch the movie, grooving as she works to the jazz music dancing in our ears

101. the sincere praises of the family as they trimphantly dip and munch warm chocolate bites, hot chocolate...

102. sharing a blessing and plates at the Olive Garden, green salads with onions

103. chocolate mints

104. the moon rising, smiling down upon us as we travel

105. my Grandma's voice, sure and strong

106. my Mothers' prayers, lifting us up when we don't even know it.

107. my favorite blue and green turquoise earrings that look like little globes set in silver, and the turquoise bear necklace, birthday gifts from Chris, which he bought for me during our first dreamy trip out here to NE TN, where we hid away in remote cabin on a mountain three years ago.

108. My Beloved~ Dreams we share, the way we know eachother's thoughts, and finish eachother's sentences... his faithfulness, his strong arms around me, his breath beside me in the dark, our marriage bed, his steady ways, likemindedness and comradery in convictions and passion.

109. Soft and cozy, warm sweaters

110. walking through the mall with my family, with us all linked together as we naturally hold hands in a way that I could not have understood 15 years ago... and would have mocked.

111. that my heart is not full of the rebellion and bitterness that it was then.

112. memories of living close to the road, the train rumbling past our dark room in the night, bellowing its familiar warning into the stillness... shaking our little house, with my sister and I snuggled close in our shared bed

113. a childhood of adventure and intrigue

114. sketching my imagination

115. soul healing

116. freshly sharpened pencils and clean, white paper

117. the smell of tobacco burning in a pipe

118. thick beards on the weathered faces of men whose eyes shine with laughter

119. the crackling of leaping flames, a fire in the fire pit

120. snow on the groud, crunching beneath my feet, sleds and snowballs, wet gloves, socks hung by the fireplace, hot chocolate and marshmallows

121. Carefully handed to me, a cup of herbal tea my daughter brewed for me, sweetened with too much honey, in the new over-sized chicken mug she bought me for my birthday~ with her own money saved up.

122. Love letters my children write to me

123. evening rituals, requests for nightly lullabies and laying in the dark singing to those who love me unconditionally (and like my singing voice), just glad to be together, another day closing.

124. heat radiating from wood stoves and baking biscuits

125. home-made fig preserves, from Grandma's fruit trees

126. sitting around the table with family, bowed heads and hearts

127. Grandma's gravy over biscuits, she sitting in her chair, watching the news, across from Papaw~ always, their generosity, hospitality

128. home-made peanut butter ice cream and fish fries, with french fries and family

129. Aunt Ann's seven layer salad, her artistic talents

130. Mom's paintings on the wall, inspiring, stories of their childhood, so fascinating to me, family reunions, my siblings' children, blonde hair, black and red hair, and glowing cheeks, time passing and returning.

131. Papers in heavy baskets

132. bruised herbs between my fingers, lingering scent

133. flowered curtains, and freshly painted walls.

134. Holly hobbie and

135. scented candles

136. dried flowers from years of bouquets, glass hearts with long stems

137. satin ribbons recycled adorning freshly cut braids, flaxen, chestnut and golden hairs on the bathroom floor...

138. sharp scissors.

139. Quiet of staying up late alone, or with Chris, private pleasures, still moments.

140. simple FOLK music, acoustic guitar and violins, earthy voices, harmonica keeping time

141. coffee stains and smile lines, Dad coming home

142. getting ready to go out

143. clean floors, freshly mopped floors

144. painted toe nails

145. plush bath robes

146. antique dressers with beveled mirrors

147. deep bath tubs

148. big brown eyes peeking out from behind bubbles, hair swirling in the water

149. pony tails and jean over-alls

150. rope and tire swings

151. straight rows in the garden

152. waiting for and watching the deer together, rabbits bounding to and fro

153. tree forts

154. two-story houses with glass door knobs and creaky staircases

155. old porches

156. spider plants and ferns

157. the morning dew

158. begonias and pansies in planters

159. fresh thyme and oregano

160. heavy marble mortar and pestle

161. cold-pressed EVO and fresh squash from seeds we planted.

162. The joy of cooking with friends, family, comparing and learning new recipes

163. spontaneous picnics outside on a blanket, under the apple tree

164. watering our garden

165. gathering apples and peppers

166. walking down to the creek with Chris, and the kids

167. a new day, and another, beginning again

168. dreams that awaken and inspire, trembling expectation

169. a good story, a living book

170. learning from others, discoving new-to-me truths

171. how the seasons change, but stay the same, more noticeable to me every year, awareness that grows, ebbs and flows, Life cycles.

172. generations before me that have brought me here...

173. legends of those who walked this ground in ages past, remembrances that challenge my ways.

174. Our son~ with his goofy grin, perceptive soul, forgiving nature, strawberry-golden hair, blue eyes with sincere intents

175. seeing him engrossed in the pages of a book

176. the breakfasts he cooks

177. his gentle way with little children, like his Father, his desire for us to have more children...

178. the faith that I hear in his prayers, trembling voice as he prays for others

179. his love of nature, and tendency to find quiet places "just to think".

180. Thank you Father for giving him to us, before we knew how much we needed him, our son.

181. His brotherly love towards his sister

182. his love for animals and desire to be a good man.

183. I'm thankful for how he's been able to learn to ride horses well

184. for friends we have who love him, and teach him wonderful things that we couldn't offer

185. community

186. seeing him excel at something that he loves (riding horses) and win blue ribbons and Grand Champion at a large competition.

187. how he likes to write thank you notes

188. and reads his Bible each evening in bed (his idea)

189. how he hugs his sister after a squabble

190. how he (usually) listens to me reading aloud to him

191. how much he loves the baby we lost, hopes for another, prays for others

192. how so many of his mannerisms remind me of my youngest brother...

193. my three brothers, beautiful and each so different, reminding me of our father...

194. Newness of life, the way that the crocus and daffodils curl out from under the snow in Spring

195. honey bees buzzing busily in the meadow

196. wildflowers

197. black dirt

198. earthworms

199. worn garden gloves

200. gardening tools to use

201. our old apple tree blossoming in all her glory.

202. Our daughter~ her comradery and inspiration, her nurturing way, meticulous drawings, fancy letters and colorful personality

203. her exuberance as she plans our menu for visiting friends or family, or excitedly dawns "her best dress" for our Sabbath meals, carefully setting our table, relishing the beauty and ceremony, asking to light the candles and wear the scarf, and "Momma, don't forget to wave the candles..."

204. hearing traditional Sabbath blessings sang in Hebrew by a friend

205. my daughter's love for the language and desire to learn Hebrew

206. her initiative to get things done, which moves me.

207. I cherish memories of long nights that I've comforted her after nightmares, tending her fevers, singing in hushed tones together

208. holding hands and knowing glances

209. teaching her to be a better wife and mother than I, imparting patience and femininity

210. seeing that her strength is greater than mine

211. praying protection over my children, and knowing He listens.

212. long, flowing skirts, lacy cotton shirts with princess sleeves

213. bare feet

214. strappy sandals

215. heavy buckles and leather fringes

216. Rolling down hills in tall, cool grass

217. rock collections

218. seashells

219. and riding bikes down dirt roads

220. long hair braided

221. tiny glass beads strung with bells

222. poetry read aloud, over and over again

223. polished silver and porcelain plates

224. tiny tea cups

225. hand-thrown earthen vessels, glazed in blues and grays

226. the smell of linseed oil and turpentine, blank canvas, visions of grandeur

227. sunlight streaming through sheer curtains dancing on the summer breeze

228. listening to the clock tick-tocking in the silence... time passing

229. icicles growing upside-down

230. evergreens and holly berries, vibrantly red against an otherwise muted winter's pallete.

231. Perfectly unique snowflakes.

232. A summer etched in our family's collective memory... abandoned unity solidified, nights of camping-out, journeying down new roads, between homes, states, our existence like a single knot on an infinite string. Breakfast on shaky tables, lunch packed in a cooler, sleeping bags, motel beds and dinner on sticks, roasted over camp-fires, our family sharing a single, small tent, listening to the tap, tap of the raindrops outside, feeling eachother's warmth, melting into slumber together, the comfort of shared dreams, morning light and woodland noises, breathing in the fresh, green air, flashlight journeys and inchworms saved... reading the map, meeting surreal characters, seeing the inked lines materialize before us into road signs and new horizons.

233. Homeschooling with our children is a tremendous gift... is there any other way, choice, but to live together each and every day, to learn and grow in love... with time unfettered. Not for us.

234. We've always had what we needed, and more. The lean times have enlarged our table, plenteous has been our legacy thusfar.

235. Our wondering together over our wandering heritage, history, mountainous microcosms in everyday miracles.

236. God's Word stored up in my heart, which gives me faith to pray. Life is rich.

For to which of the angels did God ever say,
"You are my Son;
today I have become your Father"? Or again,
"I will be his Father,
and he will be my Son"? And again, when God brings his firstborn into the world, he says,
"Let all God's angels worship him." In speaking of the angels he says,
"He makes his angels winds,
his servants flames of fire." But about the Son he says,
"Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever,
and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom.
You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness;
therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions
by anointing you with the oil of joy." He also says,
"In the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth,
and the heavens are the work of your hands.
They will perish, but you remain;
they will all wear out like a garment.
You will roll them up like a robe;
like a garment they will be changed.
But you remain the same,
and your years will never end." To which of the angels did God ever say,
"Sit at my right hand
until I make your enemies
a footstool for your feet"? Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?

~ Hebrews 1.5-14

237. a Sabbath rest....

It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before:
"Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts." For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.

~ Hebrews 4.6-11

A dear friend of mine, Cindy Jones, has recently found out that she is now carrying her fifth child within her, a miracle and a blessing from heaven with a magnificent story to tell of God's Grace, shown forth in the lives of this beautiful family. I am overjoyed to be able to share with you here, in her own words, Cindy's testimony... as written over a period of time. It's a true testament to the redemptive, restorative power of a loving and intimately present Creator God, Yahshua (Hebrew for Jesus), which means "Yahweh Saves". I hope that you are as blessed by her story as I am.

~Beth 

Celebrating Life: Part 1, A Choice...

I am pro-life because ...
the prayers of the righteous avail much (Thank you, you know who you are!)
I know the pain, guilt and shame of abortion.

To choose death for a child is also to choose death in every part of the mother's and father's lives, but not many are willing to tell that part of abortion.

 

I KNOW the grace, mercy, love, healing and forgiveness of Christ Jesus!

 

I am pro-life, most importantly, because when God says that you are made new in Christ He means it!

I had an abortion when I was 18. In some ways it brought relief, but that was only temporary (less than hours). Almost immediately I fell into a deep depression, wanting to die, behaving in ways that made it possible to die and choosing an even more damaging lifestyle for myself. After my abortion it didn't matter how I lived; I was already dead. I died in the clinic along with my child. Oh, but there was justification, it was my choice, after all and that is what women before me had fought for. So, I found a new normal, and I did quit most of my wildness and tried to move along with my life. I did just barely okay.

Then it happened ... I got pregnant again ... three short years later ... under similar circumstances. Still proudly pro-choice I
decided that I would "choose" to keep this child. I didn't know what I was going to do, I just knew I wasn't going to go through abortion again. (Sadly, because so many women don't know the the truth, and don't "think" they have loving people around them they choose to abort again. It is only by the grace of God and the prayers of the righteous, that I didn't this time. My heart goes out to the women that abort again.) I went to my first OB-GYN appointment and they did an ultrasound that first day. That first day I saw my little boy (now nearly 13yo) at 8 weeks swimming around in my womb.

 

I couldn't believe what I saw. I had seen this in books, I knew the formation of a child by the day and by the week, but it was never real. I asked the tech, "How old is that baby?" to which she excitedly answered, "8 weeks!" The full realization of what I had done hit me at that moment like a ton of bricks. I was 8 weeks pregnant when I aborted my first child and here, before my eyes was a person, swimming, in my womb. I couldn't believe what I had done. So, I became more militant in my pro-choice stance — choosing to have this baby. It is funny, almost, how when we're confronted with the reality of our sin that we do more to justify the sin.

But our God is a loving God wanting all of us to come to Him through his son, Jesus. And He just wouldn't leave me alone. For that, I am thankful. And eventually I accepted the Christ that I already knew as my savior. He began the healing and changing of me. It was only through Bible study and prayer that my pro-choice stance was changed to pro-life. I don't know when it happened exactly, but the scales fell from my eyes and my heart was changed. It still took time and study to accept the forgiveness that was there for me. But the cross is enough to cover all our sins.

That which Satan (that great big liar, thief and cheat) meant to harm (and does), God, truly, can use for good (and does!). That's why I am pro-life. Because I love women and want to help them realize that Jesus loves their babies AND them I am pro-life. Because of my children now living with me I am pro-life. And so that my child that's waiting for me in heaven didn't die in vain I AM PRO-LIFE!

 

 

Celebrating Life: Part 2, A Family

Right after Todd and I were married we got pregnant with our Olivia. What a treat. We didn't know that your heart could open up that much to love another child. Then I was pregnant yet again! Here I am holding a five month old baby and looking unbelievingly at the positive pregnancy test. It wasn't good or bad news. Just exhausting news. We had just drastically changed our lives by cutting our income in half so I could stay home with Olivia, we were trying to sell our big nice house to move to HUD housing in a less desirable part of town, and unbeknownst to either of us, I was suffering mild post-partum depression, which only got worse day by day through Garrett's pregnancy.

 

Once he was born it went from bad to worse. Todd did not pass go and did not collect his $200.00 on the way to the urologist to have his vasectomy! It was a hard time, and because I was so psycho it seemed the right thing to do. Did we pray? No. While I was uncomfortable with the vasectomy because it was so permanent, it seemed the obvious solution to our "problem." However, about a year later God just put it on my heart so heavy that it was not the right choice for us that I mentioned a reversal to my husband.

 

"NO" was his reply. I can't remember whether he laughed it or yelled it, but "no" was indeed what was on his heart. (I couldn't blame him, really, God had raised us from the depths and he didn't want to go back.) So, I prayed. And prayed and prayed. Five years later God changed my husband's heart. We researched vasectomy reversal doctors, made and appointment and this past April we travelled to Arkansas and did the deed. I couldn't believe the love my husband showed me through that procedure. Trust me, it's not near as "clean" as the original vasectomy. Anyway, we just knew that we'd get pregnant right away. I mean, right away, and it was so discouraging when we didn't. We had a plan, but as always, God did, too. Needless to say, His was better.

Celebrating Life: Part 3, A Miracle

Here I sit, early Friday, October 13th, writing an update to ya'll. You see this morning Todd and I got up early to take a first morning confirmation pregnancy test - and it was positive. The one I took yesterday afternoon was, too. Just wanted to be sure you know. What a gift.

But you see, there's more to this gift than meets the eye. As I sit here typing I am overwhelmed with God's gift of grace and mercy, and how he heals, but not just heals, but returns that which you gave away or was taken from you. You see, 17 years ago on this very day, at this very moment I was getting ready to go to the abortion clinic. And I did go. Ya'll know. October 13th comes and goes, but not always on Friday. (This is not some weird oh, Friday the 13th is bad, had it been Tuesday the 20th, it would hold the same meaning to me) It's always been in the back of my mind a sad day at most, a melancholy day at least. But God, in his great love, has given a new memory for this day. Waking up early, making coffee and me and Todd together watching (happily, I might add) as the little line turned blue. I just don't understand how God could be this good.

So, please pray. Pray that the baby sticks! Pray, that I'm healthy during this pregnancy (and don't eat too much!) Join me in
Thanksgiving to God (even if you think we're crazy!). Thank you for praying for this in the first place.

printed with permission from the author, Cindy Jones

Her testimony may be found in part, along with others at whyiamprolife.com

I heard this beautiful poem, "The Marriage-Bed" by Michael Simms read-aloud this morning on npr, by Garrison Keillor on his Writer's Almanac program. If you click on the link, you'll see there's a real-audio link for you to hear his recitation. I just wanted to share it, absolutely, brilliantly, wonderfully, intimately beautiful and true!

The Marriage-Bed (click to read)

And as Chris would say... "That's a mighty deep subject..."

Our big dinner plans didn't go exactly as planned last night afterall... Chris unfortunately ended up working later than expected, and didn't get home until after 9:00 pm. He felt horrible about it, but I had no hard feelings of course, since I realize he had no way of knowing the job would take longer than he'd expected. Actually we're glad for the work!

So, I was all dressed up, sharing asian stir-fry with the kiddos. We took this pic of us to commemorate the evening. I tucked them in, and shared a special couple of hours with Chris when he got home. He apologetically explained about all of the plans he'd had to surprise me, and how working late had messed them all up. I was just glad to finally have him home. He was absolutely exhausted, and had to turn around and get up at 6:30 am this morning for another long day of work. He just called me to let me know he had finished his job and was starting for home (has a 2 hr. drive), which will put him getting home after 8 pm tonight.

Last night, the kids and I decided to wait until next week to light the candles of Shabbat for the first time, as a family (with Daddy). But we did read some more about the fascinating Jewish customs of Shabbat and their Messianic symbolism (click those highlighted words for more info.) from our Biblical Holidays book.

My challah loaves were disappointing to say the least. They just didn't rise very much at all. I didn't proof my yeast since it's brand new, and had kept it in the freezer until I used it. Could it's being still cold when I used it in my recipe (even though I'd put it in warm water) have kept it from activating properly? I'll certainly be sure and proof my yeast next time...arrrgh!;) Aaaah well, there's always next week... I'm now so especially glad that Chris and I had that lovely day date the day before our anniversary.

Yes, today is our wedding anniversary... Chris and I have been married for 11 adventurous years!

Yesterday, while our kids spent the day with some friends, we shared a nice and slow few hours together. We grabbed lunch-to-go at a favorite Mom & Pop's burger joint. Then we eagerly set out for our drive down a favorite stretch toward country roads and sun-drenched hillsides, as we relished our hopes for the future together. We stopped at a big antique store and waded through the booths together, looking for treasures, calling eachother's attention to interesting finds... stacks of old books, worn quilts, aged pictures and antique farming tools... gleefully realizing how well we know eachother.

We journeyed on, meandering down the streets of the lovely little town of Rogersville, holding hands, admiring the old buildings, dreaming our dreams of the future, ducking into an art gallery here, an antique store there, and then a thrift store, just cherishing our shared moments, a day, our life together.

After picking up the kids, I baked up a batch of my snickerdoodles real quick, and we headed out to spend the evening talking, laughing, praying and eating with a wonderful group of friends, our "homegroup".

I love my life with this man, my husband ~ I told him. Tonight our anniversary falls on Shabbat, and we'll share a nice dinner with our children. We'll bless eachother as we thank our Lord for this life together, and we'll bless our children. We find our rest in Him, once again, and in knowing eachother more completely.

*Note: We intend to more purposely "honor the Sabbath" each week, by having a more fomally set aside time on Friday evenings, complete with a meal, family blessings, lighting of the candles and reading of the Word together. It's been on my heart to do this for some time, and then earlier this week our 10yo son says to me "We need to start keeping the Sabbath"... *ahem*smiles* "Yes, I've been thinking the same thing..." I said, nodding my agreement. And I knew that this week, with our anniversary falling on Friday, and my plans to have a nice dinner falling together, it would be a perfect night to *officially* start the habit. And thus, we commence.

In Jewish tradition, it is customary for the husband to read Proverbs 31, aka. the "Eshet Chayil" (A Woman of Valor) hymn over his wife on Shabbat. I think it would be fitting to start by incoorperating this into our Sabbath meal-time, today, on our wedding anniversary...

More Sabbath Blessings

I know that some of you are in the habit of having a set aside Sabbath meal/time. I would love to hear what you and your family do to make this time special (regardless of which day you choose to honor it on; Friday evening, Sat. or Sun.), and how it's blessed you. Or, maybe, like me, it's something you've wanted to do for some time. What are your thoughts and ideas? Please share...

I'm off to make our "Family Challah" bread, and then going outside to do some more pruning and cleaning out of my garden beds in this beautiful sunny weather we're having today! Shabbat Shalom! Sabbath peace to you and yours~

Debi over at Just as I am tagged me with this *marriage secrets* meme. Be sure and click on the link to read her answer, which is SO true, and definitely one that I've also found to be a foundational bit of marital wisdom!

Question

What's one thing you have learned to do differently to make your marriage better? Or one thing you think is important to a good marriage?

The Not-So-Fine-Print

If you're not married, look at your parents or a couple you know that has a good marriage and tell something you admire about their relationship. And no pressure to tell the most important thing; in fact, try to write something different than what's already been written, if you get tagged after several other people have already done it. If you get tagged, link back to whoever tagged you, so we can follow the trail and see what others have said.

My Answer

Oh, what an immense subject, with so many bunny trails to follow when I think of answering... Well, my first answer would I think be much the same as Debi's; to love my husband simply for who he is NOW, without expectations has been among my greatest lessons learned... After all, to *love* someone simply because they're pleasing you, or living up to some preconceived idea one has of how someone else should be (which is most often relative anyways) is rather selfish, which is truly not loving at all, but rather the opposite, wouldn't you say?

Of course, to truly love someone unconditionally is much easier said than done... But having learned to rest in this - my acceptance of Chris for who he is - has been so freeing to me, and to him too, I'm sure. And ironically, I've noticed that it seems so easy for Christian women to fall into this trap of discontentment, in some ways more so even than non-Christians. We get this idea of all that our husband should be DOing to be "a man of God" (some of which, granted, are legitimate, but some of which are undoubtedly self-proclaimed/not Spirit-induced ideals), which inevitably set us up for disappointment, and then resentment and bitterness when we feel that our husband is neglecting his responsibilities to us as wives, or our family. Yes, we should hope for growth, and pray that our husbands do become all that God has for them to be, but we must compassionately understand that the destination is often yet afar off, and how God sees fit to getting each of us there is going to be different (as we are individuals) and will undoubtedly be beyond our initial understanding. I've no doubt though that as we seek the Lord for our husbands, He will give us great insights as to how we may truly help them... rather than hinder them.

I'll never forget something that I read from Oswald Chambers a few years ago that really made an impression upon me. My paraphrase;
The gift of discernment is not given to us that we may correct someone, or tell them what they're doing wrong, but that we may know better how to pray/intercede for that person.

My answer really does tie in with what Debi shared about... basicly, letting go and letting God... which translates into true Biblical submission I think. That may sound so cliche, but it's such a powerful concept when coupled with truly prayerful faith, ie; TRUST in God when we can't see a way out. I'm learning to relinquish my marital burdens to HIM (yet again, and again!;-). I've learned to lighten up a bit, to not have to obsessively defend myself or my stance in an argument as if my life depended upon it (and to not be so touchy, easily *wounded* either), ie; not taking things so personal, or having to make sure that I'm *understood*, translated; get the last word in! Afterall, my husband is a M-A-N, and thus very different than I (as Debi aptly points out). He's not perfect, never will be! And he's going to miss it sometimes (as am I)! He's going to miss the mark with me, with God, with life sometimes... and vice versa, but this doesn't mean that he doesn't love me, or that he must immediately realize how very wrong he is for feeling, acting, or being this or that way (he usually probably knows already anyways, or maybe it's even me that's wrong...*GASP!*) I've learned to give him (and myself) S-P-A-C-E... to journey, to learn, to grow, and to hear God for himself. And that it's not MY job to change a single thing about him, I can't, I won't, and what a relief it is!!

I was so very insecure for the first half of our marriage thusfar, and had these big fears of rejection and abandonment all rolled into one big burdensome knot, that when we'd get into an argument, would paralyze me, and I'd get all tangled up in these overwhelming emotions that rendered me useless to the Lord, myself or Chris... I'd literally just go into freak out mode internally when I sensed that something was seriously amiss between Chris and I, or *with Chris* (in my own mind anyways). I've come to realize that it really was a manifestation of my own lack of faith/TRUST in our Lord, I would allow myself to become gripped with fear.

I'll never forget one day, years ago now, as I sat in our car in a WalMart parking lot, stewing over some argument Chris and I were in (don't even remember it now) when the Lord very clearly impressed upon my spirit that I was to just let it go, entirely... put the whole mess to rest, without an apology from him, or another word from me! What a novel, absurd idea to have in that moment (and definitely not my own)! He was in the store I think, I'd been too mad to accompany him. And as I internally wrestled with the concept, something in me just broke. I heard my Lord whisper to me of how innocent He was when He'd allowed Himself to be crucified for my sake... And here I was causing dissension by carrying on about some petty, *felt* injustice I had... Oh, how my heart broke over my own self-important pride. I repented and resolved to crucify my own flesh. I chose to offer obedience to my Lord in that situation, and I learned what submission really means...

I submitted to my husband, as I submitted to the Lord in that moment. I felt such relief and peace, as the Spirit Himself assured me that now He would be able to reign in that area of our relationship, since I had relinquished my strangle-hold of control over it to Him. I've learned that if I'll just SHUT UP! sometimes, then God can get a word in edgewise with my husband. hehehehe All that... all in a moment of solitude with Him. He met me there in my car, in spite of my sin and anger, and he showed me how to escape that horrible cycle of blame that so easily sucks us in and holds us hostage to one another's unfulfilled expectations and shortcomings/inadequacies.

So, over the years, as I've gained a bit more spiritual composure in the Lord, and a more realistic outlook as to how human relations work, Chris and I have a much better relationship. I've let go of so many ideal and *expectations* that were really superficial anyways, for the most part. And I've learned to embrace Chris as a unique person, with his own problems, fears and strengths. I've learned to rest in his idiosyncracies, and to delight in his faithful companionship, to step back and more objectively look at various situations, disagreements, yet unfulfilled hopes, etc. I've learned that my acceptance of him, and loving tenderness toward him does more to inspire him towards loving me than any nagging and bickering ever could. I've learned that what I think I need is often so very different from what I REALLY need in a husband... Yes, there's a time and necessary place for *discussing* disagreements, etc. but I've learned that timing and attitude have everything in the world to do with how my sentiments/ideas are received.

The Lord has healed and grown me/us as a couple in so many respects over the last 11 yrs. of marriage and I think that overall, I would have to say that my greatest lesson learned has been to really trust God to speak to my husband directly for my sake, for his sake, and where our children are concerned. Yes, we talk ALOT about things and he puts alot of stock in my views too, but I've learned that when we disagree, it's O-K-A-Y. We will not always be on the same page, but at least with the Lord as our home's bedrock, we are reading the same Book.

So, what {in a nutshell} have I learned to do differently? I've learned a bit of the truth that Jesus tried to share with us in so many words and instances... to DIE, rather than to tout my rights.

And to L-I-S-T-E-N better... not only to what he's really saying, but to why he's feeling a certain way... where's he at? This gets the focus off of me, me, me, and onto him, which is always a good start... No, this marriage thing really isn't all about me... *smiles*

So, now (if anyone is still reading this book!) I'd like to hear what you have to share with us. If you'd like to answer this question, then please feel free to do so, and let me know by leaving me a comment and link to your answer!

Also, check out Sparrow's answer to this question, SPOT ON!

I'm tagging Serena, Adrienne, Leslie, Jenny, Carla and Kristen

I guess I've been pretty sheltered... Because before I saw the advertisement in my TOS mag. a few months ago for CTBHHM (initially thinking "wow, great!"), and then caught wind of 'em online, I'd never heard of the Pearls... LOL! In my 4 yrs. of homeschooling in 3 different states, and being involved with the Church and homeschooling community for 11 yrs. now, I've never heard a peep about them, nor their materials. Seems weird now that I've run into so MANY opinions of late.

I most recently have found Catez Stevens's latest post, in which she analyzes the most basic doctrines of the Pearls' teachings, to be quite interesting. These faulty doctrines (read the article, and linked resources) are naturally, found at the heart of their teachings. What a blessing she is, THANK YOU Catez! The following quote from her article sums up so much of my own sentiments, and explains beautifully the reasons for my own deep uneasiness as I've been reading the Pearls' materials of late, and following the discussions. Well done.

Catez writes:

When some-one claims to have the truth that no-one else within orthodox Christianity has, I get a warning bell. Particularly so when the teaching is a combination of historical errors and false doctrine. While churches differ on some doctrine, there are basic truths upon which we agree. And there is a good reason why, across all our different denominations, we are not being taught certain things. It is my assessment that the Pearls are teaching error on essential basic doctrine.

Here is the article in its entirety; Michael and Debi Pearl's No Greater Joy Ministries: A Look at the Basics

****************************************************************

Also, Sandi had mentioned in a comment to Sparrow that she wasn't seeing what my prior post, concerning my sister's story, has to do with the book, Created to be His Helpmeet, by Debi Pearl. Sparrow gave her ample response, but I figured that since it concerned my post, I should/could add my 2 cents, which is probably just the long way around of saying what Sparrow already said herself. So, I've attempted here to clarify, for those who may be wondering. For those who aren't, excuse me please, while I kick this dead dog.

*****************
Hi Sparrow, Sandi...

Thanks for linking my sister's story Sparrow, may it be a testimony God can use. Sparrow you've done a great job of summing up exactly why I do think that her story relates to this book. Key word, RELATES.

Sandi, I in no way have implied that it is to fault for, nor had directly influenced my sister's case...Yet, it certainly could be the cause of women wrongfully staying in abusive situations NOW, next week, or next year, that they shouldn't be in. It could have certainly confused her futher had she read it (though she probably would have actually been too repulsed to finish it). But that is my concern, and reason for thanking Spunky for speaking up, and thereby doing the same myself... Just to get the word out there that the Pearls don't have the "Final word" on this! kwim? If you have not known a woman who's been abused like this for years, you may not realize that leaving is already a daunting thought, an "impossible" option, and ironically it usually doesn't take much to convince them to stay (they convince themselves even, over and over again, and usually their husband's abuse just changes forms, goes through its cycles, they get used to it, and it seems easiest to stay).

As with the book, if one reads the article, "Abusive Husband" from the Pearls' NGJ website, a discerning spirit will detect that there is certainly this undercurrent throughout it that is *very* legalistic, and basicly implies that if even an abused woman ever were to leave her husband, then she just basicly has sold herself short, given up on God and will regret it later, will most likely lose her kids to Satan, (afterall, they've heard it 100's of times) etc., etc. NEVER once is there any reference to acknowledging the FACT that abuse IS Biblical grounds for divorce, or room given to the FACT that a covenant, by it's very nature, can be broken (an "unconditional" covenant is an oxymoron) and that if a woman has ALREADY tried various channels of help, waited on the Lord, trusting for His intervention, and yet the abuse remains, that HE will eventually (or possibly has been trying to already) most likely tell her to DIVORCE.

Because of a lack of God's revelation knowledge concerning the truth about marriage covenants, submission, and women in Scripture, women who have been physically and mentally abused by their husbands are counseled by well-meaning pastors, or older women, to remain in those abusive relationships, and to be submissive in every way. They are told (by the Pearls and others like them) that, if they will fully submit to their husbands, God will cause the husbands to realize they are doing wrong and therefore will stop their abusive behavior (or God will kill the husband). Now, I know of some miraculous situations and testimonies of God's totally transforming once abusive men into new creations, and their wives choosing to "ride out the storm". And that's great, and to God goes all the glory! But those women felt led to stay, and their husbands were responding to God, but it's not a mandate, nor should it be a precedent that all abused women should be made to feel that they have to uphold (as the Pearls do most obviously intone). That just wrongfully sets all the blame and guilt squarely back upon these womens' shoulders, and a new sense of hopelessness and fear that they're not *DOING* something right if it *doesn't work*. There were ladies at church who thought my sister was wrong for divorcing, even with two broken ribs and some horror stories I wouldn't share here, and a history of consistent abuse for 10 yrs. Their answer for her, "Just seperate for as long as you need to dear...but don't you dare get a divorce, God hates it you know..."??> whatever! What about the sin that causes the divorce? God hates it! Blind legalism will make people say and recommend really stupid stuff.

But as to what you mentioned Sandi, this book and my sis's story... How do they relate?
Does one really think that God would expect more from one of us (to keep a broken covenant) than He Himself would/does do. *sighs* This topic gets me terribly riled, which is why I've basicly just been listening thus far, because YES, in this particular area CTBHHM does have everything to do with this subject, and my sister's story. No, this book wasn't around 10, 8, 5, or even 2 yrs. ago to effect my sister's decision to stay married. But this legalistic mentality was. And her suffering was multiplied by it. The Pearls' faulty doctrine (in numerous ways!) is just so dangerous, b/c it brings such bondage to so many women (and domestic violence is reportedly nearly as rampant in the church as in the world). Because God knows our sinfulness, He does not make unconditional or unbreakable covenants with man. Therefore, who are we as sinful man, to even consider that the covenants we make with each other (in this case, marriage), are indissolvable or unbreakable because of unsurpassing violations by the other party? Covenants are conditional; that is why they are called "covenants" because they contain provisions to protect the party of the agreement who do not violate the covenant.

Aaah, but this begins to get to the heart of the matter for the Pearls, doesn't it? They don't believe that a woman should EVER divorce her husband. In that "Abusive Husband" article, they recommend that the abused wife "just call the authorities and have him put away for 10-20 yrs., and then the kids will be safely raised and out of the house by the time he gets out, and you can be waiting with open arms..." Yeah, RIGHT! Whatever?! This is laughable, and just plain ignorant! They don't put abusive husbands away that easily, and certainly not for that long! Believe me, we know. My sis went through all kinds of legal hassles, and had to play hard-ball, telling all, just to get what she did, full custody of her kids. But that's just as well now, as she didn't really want him in jail for 10-20 yrs. anyways. She just wanted to get her kids, and leave, and that's OKAY! But I'd dare say the Pearls would think she's punked out, and that's why this story is relevant! Should she have stayed, knowing she could have died already? NO. Could she have realistically had him put away for 10-20 yrs. NO. He had a lawyer too. So, then what? "Anger Management" doesn't work. Marriage Counseling doesn't work. Most programs for batterers have only about a 5% success rate.

Anyways, my long-winded point here I guess is simply to clarify that the connection I saw between my sister's story and CTBHHM is rooted somewhere in the fact that it was this type of legalisticly idealogical teaching, and perceptions of my own that I struggled with, and God had to walk me through during those first 9 yrs. of my sister's "marriage", before I could even be of any real, where the rubber meets the road (the action required eventually, after the years of praying) help to my sister. I've come face to face in CTBHHM and NGJ Ministries with these same traditional misconceptions and misguided mental trappings which so bogged me down spiritually that I could not better help my sister sooner... But God, in His faithfulness, freed me and her. And even after God, in His Mercy made a very clear way of escape for her - her two ribs broken (which she found to be quite symbolic, think about it)- my sister, husband and I then still came up against the condemning workings of this same legalistic dogma from some well-meaning Christians (thankfully her counselor was not one of them), and it's not only hurtful and potentially deadly to these women in very real danger, I think it's also an afront to God Himself.

"The thief (incorrect teaching) comes not except that he may steal (be treacherous, deceive, get rid of imperceptibly), kill (slaughter, tear to pieces), and destroy utterly (ruin, lay to waste, make to fall untimely, make to perish, make to lose body and soul). I (Jesus) come that they may be able to hold fast to life (ie., all the quality of life God can give)." ~ John 10.10

Satan's perversion of truth (in all it's various packages) has corrupted one of God's greatest principles and thereby has robbed untold numbers of His children and has kept them in bondage of guilt and condemnation for too long already.

blessings in Him,
Beth
*********************************
My sister recommends;

NO PLACE FOR ABUSE
Biblical & Practical Resources to Counteract Domestic Violence

By Catherine Clark Kroeger and Nancy Nason-Clark

About the Book
Domestic violence is a leading cause of injury and death to women worldwide. One in five women around the globe is physically or sexually abused in her lifetime, and gender violence causes more death and disability among women aged 15 to 44 than cancer, malaria, traffic accidents or war. Regrettably, the church is not immune to this problem; some studies suggest that incident rates of domestic violence among active churchgoers are not much lower than those among the general populace.

Representing the International Task Force on Abuse, formed under the auspices of the Women's Commission of the World Evangelical Fellowship, Catherine Clark Kroeger and Nancy Nason-Clark have listened to the voices of women from around the world and especially to those within the church. Now they help us hear their cries and find concrete ways to respond so that no home will be a place of abuse.

In this immensely helpful guide you'll find:

• true stories and statistics that illustrate the gravity and extent of the domestic violence

• a look at what Scripture says about domestic violence, including verbal abuse and patterns of concealment, secrecy and silence

• a discussion of how proper concerns for Christian families can be twisted to endanger women and their children

• an assessment of alternatives to suffering in silence in a threatening environment

• practical tools for pastors and other counselors for interviewing abuse victims and perpetrators

• outlines for sermons, Bible studies and youth group activities that address the problem of domestic violence

No Place for Abuse is an essential book for pastors, counselors, church leaders, missionaries, evangelists, teachers--indeed, for anyone who wants to make a difference in women's lives.

********************************************************************
Also Recommended (per Catez, and I've pasted them here from her blog -in case you missed any of them- since I've also found them to be very helpful resources to me, in sorting all this out.):

Review: To Train Up A Child by Michael and Debi Pearl - Allthings2all
Review: Created To Be His HelpMeet, Part 1 - Spunky Homeschool
Part 2 - Spunky Homeschool
Part 3 - Spunky Homeschool
Part 4 - Spunky Homeschool
On the Pearls and Parenting - Tulip Girl
Pearls Po-Russki - Tulip Girl
Christian Families on the Edge - Rachel Ramer, Christian Research Institute

I heard the second part of this really encouraging teaching on submission tonight on the radio. It was called Liberated Through Submission, by Bunny Wilson, who was a guest of Dr. Kennedy's on his program, Truths That Transform. It's a two part broadcast that you can listen to right online here, via Real Player at the link above, or you can order. They offered to give it away to you, "if it's your first time to call in". I'm eager to go back myself and listen to part 1. Also, she's written a book by the same title. My hubby and I both enjoyed it tremendously, laughing and nodding in knowing approval and humility to eachother. I'm looking forward to reading her book now...

Submission is a very positive, powerful, and aggressive principle designed by God for every man and woman, whether they are single or married. Submission is a blessing, not a curse. And guess what? It is for everyone! Bunny Wilson will tell you how it applies to you, next time on Truths That Transform with Dr. D. James Kennedy.

When Bunny Wilson began to practice submission in her marriage, her husband said that it put the fear of God in his heart. That is because submission isn't just for wives; husbands also have to submit… to God! Plus, it is not just for married couples either! Popular speaker Bunny Wilson tells you why, on the next Truths That Transform with Dr. D. James Kennedy.