livid in the library
By**Added disclaimer: Please note that this post contains material that is inappropriate for children to read. Other than this one post, my blog is entirely family friendly.**
I just returned home from our local library, where I'd taken the kids this afternoon, to pick up some history tales and biographies. It was a disturbing visit this time, a first for me at this library... I've come to expect that we'll (obviously) sometimes be faced with plenty of contrary opinions in such a public arena of published thoughts, and the ensuing questions that then result from our visits have usually been fodder for great discussions and learning opportunities. It just goes with the territory, right? Fine. and. Dandy. I'm just glad that I didn't have to discuss this one with the kids, though I did with the librarians... but I'm getting ahead of myself.
So, after I'd stacked baby S's stroller high with the books on my list, I wandered down past the "Junior Biographies" section, heading over towards where my twelve year old son N was, near the children's computers. I was just passing my nine year old daughter, T as she was searching for a book "about Arabian horses", when, as I strolled along, contentedly enjoying the warm*fuzzy learning vibe the library always brings us, I happened to glance over at the shelf next to me, a bit below my own eye-level, and thereupon: did a double-take. Huh?! What's that book laying there sideways, where someone else (a child?) has presumably hastily discarded it (in embarrassment, perhaps) SAY?
It glared back at me unapologeticaly, with bold red letters, reading "Boys and S*x". Huh? That's a bit pointedly blunt, even for a secular book about s*x education for young (ages 9-12, according to Amazon) kids, isn't it? It almost sounds like a game, doesn't it? Well... this book certainly attempts to be the instructional manual, apparently treating it as such. I almost put it back in line with the other books, to at least hide the double-daring title, there being very young children around and all. But then, thick as it was... I wondered, just how much is there to be said on this topic anyways... and to children at that?! And so I hesitantly picked it up and, looking around to make sure that my kids wouldn't see me blushing, nor the offending title, opened it randomly to just past the middle of the book... curious, and upon seeing who the author was, even filled with an expectant dread.
I am not queasy, nor naive, when it comes to talking about purity, and the opposite s*x issues with our kids... Well, maybe I was a bit woozy at the thought at first, before we broke the ice... Come to think of it, there's a funny story there I have yet to blog about. But I digress, will have to share that in another post. Anyways, our 12 yo son has had "THE talk", which has now become more of an on-going dialogue. We're pretty casual in conversing about the birds and the bees (as well as the enemy's distortions, debasements and attempted marring of our God-given s*xuality) as necessary and questions are asked around here, though always respectfully. Our 9yo daughter knows as much as she's interested and ready for as of yet. S*x is good, it's a beautiful thing within the Biblical parameters of a loving marriage, life-giving~ literally, as our Creator meant it to be. So, let the record show: I'm not afraid when it comes to parents teaching their children about these matters.
Even so, I was not prepared for what I read, regardless of the fact that I'd knowingly made note of the fact that the author is none other than the co-author of The Kinsey Report... Kinsey having been a *ahem* shall we say- disturbed, degenerate, pedophile/pseudo-scientist, credited with normalizing the s*xual revolutuion, and legitimizing h*mos*xuality. Yeah, well, apparently, this book I held in my hand, that my son had just walked right by moments before me, is a children's version of another book Pomeroy had co-authored with Kinsey himself. Um, yeah...
Where was I? Oh yeah, what I read... but I can't tell you all of it anyways, since this is a fairly family-friendly blog, and I was tainted all day having read it, especially considering its intended audience. Grieved in my spirit... Let it suffice to say that it was quite descriptive, giving detailed directions (more graphic than even a diagram could have been) as to how a "teenaged boy" can m*st*rb*te to find pleasure after "he has been left unfulfilled by his partner"...or if willing, how his partner can give him fulfillment (after explaining that this meant to have *rg**m) by doing it for him?!
At this point, I was standing there in disbelief, trying to pick my jaw up off the floor. I was just plain stupified, but not so much that it was there - in print, written to children (as sad and twisted as that is, it's a sign of the times, I'd given mental assent to that already, one does tend to get desensitized) but more that it was right there, in our library, mere feet away from my children who were innocently perusing the very shelf I'd snatched it from. And I couldn't believe what I was reading, p*rnographic smut, right there in my kids' section of the library. Did I say that already, "the children's section"? Had my son curiously opened it up and read the little snippit I'd just read, his conscience would have surely been violated. That quick.
I was livid. In that moment today, the realization - that the battle for our children's hearts is being fought every day - was crystallized for me in seeing how close to home this strike was aimed. As I stood there, holding one of the enemy's weapons of choice in my own hands, I was reminded-once again- that in this world, there is no escaping the darkness that pervades the age, it's everywhere. The destroyer, the enemy of our children's souls is alive and well, and his handiwork is peddled as educational- even at our own little town's library... I had let my guard down... Upon second thought, no, I hadn't let my guard down, I was very watchfully aware. I just wasn't sitting on top of my kids, requiring that they let me first examine everything they laid their eyes upon, trusting God to catch my slack. At some point, we have to let our older children move into more freedom. Don't we? Of course we do. I cannot hold my 12 year old son's hand in the junior section of our library. *smirk* No, but the Lord can, and does.
Just so happens, I have a case in point that I was reminded of later. On the way to the library, N had popped in a cd that we haven't listened to in quite awhile, the "Prince of Egypt~ Inspirational", and one of the songs on it, The River, by CeCe Winans, always pulls on my heart strings (actually it gives me chills), but especially so today. And so, there I was - as we were driving to the library- prayerfully singing along with fervor, asking for God to watch over my son as he's growing up into a young man. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidences.
The river flows from the depths of my soul
Save your son from harm and danger
It's killing me, still I've gotta let him go
Trust in You cause You're not a stranger
You are a spark, Misses joy
Now save my innocent boy
I'll leave forever in your cradle
I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with ya river
Take care of him
That's my heart, my heart
Familiar friend it's your hand that he's in
Carry him with blessed assurance
Don't let him go til you know that he's safe
I pray to God the Father for amazing grace
I gave you all that I've got now save him
Now save him from Pharaoh's plot
Of killin' each child that's born a man
I'm talking to ya river
You're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
Take care of him; that's my heart, he's my heart
Now that I put him in the water
I pray for you to do what you've got to do
With my son, yeah
Let him go, let him go...
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
Take care of him
Take care of him, my baby
I'm talking to ya river
I know you're able to deliver
Won't you take him with you river
How could I let my little boy go
Let him go , let him go
My baby boy...
That is my heart's cry as I homeschool my kids... that He would deliver them to His Promised Land... realizing that I cannot. He IS ABLE to deliver. Praying that His Holy Spirit, that river that's carrying them where I know not, that I must release them to, would bear them- these little ones- to somewhere that they can and will be free! It is my prayer that He would guide me as I shepherd them, and ultimately that they will look to Him to shepherd them one day, and that they would follow Him, Salvation, who came to deliver us all, to the Promised Land. I have no doubt that today, as we unsuspectingly walked into the library, our Lord was shepherding my children, even when I could not... guarding their eyes, and thus their hearts... that it was I who picked up that book, and not them. I only pray that the librarians, whom I brought the book to and adamantly shared my concerns with, as I politely pointed out to them the one inappropriate, disturbing page I'd read, along with a bit about the Kinsey report and the author, also feel the fervor to do something about it, like permanently pulling it from the shelves (if they even can). They were surprised, a bit embarrassed as well, and quite apologetic that it was there.
Over the years, I've grown more lenient with my kids at the library (though not without prayer and trepidation, well aware of the fact that there's a lot of falsehoods and alluring twaddle in print), letting them wander the aisles (of the junior/kids section of the library), perusing through the rows of books at will... I've surmised that my readers (now 12.5 and 9.5 years old) are pretty well grounded in their faith and strong in their beliefs. We discuss all sorts of topics and I usually welcome opportunities to share with my kids how our Christian worldview applies to opposing opinions and belief systems. I have also been delighted to hear their own thoughtful observations as they critically evaluate what they hear and read. Thus, I have absolutely no problem with them reading about other religions, evolution, mythology, liberal politics, etc. within limits appropriate to their understanding and spiritual maturity levels... However, today, as I was given a strong dose of reminding as to why we homeschool, and what much of our world considers acceptable and normal for a 9-12 year old audience, I was also reminded to stay ever-prayerfully-vigilant... even at the library. I would like to urge you all to do the same, as you venture forth with your charges into the halls of learning this year.
These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
I would like to end this post by recommending to you of a couple our favorite purity books: The Princess and the Kiss for girls and The Squire and the Scroll for boys, both of which I blogged about here. They're both good for boys and girls though- our daughter loves the latter and our son enjoyed the Princess book for years before we got the Squire book. We've also enjoyed the Life Lessons devotionals that have since been published to go along with each of these beautiful books.
Note: Click here to read the updated, follow-up post: update concerning *that* book
Technorati Tags: Kinsey, purity, The Princess and the Kiss, The Squire and the Scroll, Homeschooling Carnival
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My heart sunk as I read this post. While I do not have any children I have co-raised my niece who is now 9 and entering 4th grade. When she was a baby my sister and I were adamant that we were going to home school her together.
Sadly my sister now has lost faith in the fact that we can teach her what she needs to know. She feels as a sidetracked home executive (as http://www.flylady.com referrs to house wives that are easily distracted) she or rather we would fail her. I disagree but in the end have no say in the matter. Needless to say we have run into some heartbreaking situations of a s*xual nature in the school room as well as playground.
I wanted to weep when I read your ordeal at the library. I too love to float along the isles feeling so content amongst the books and love to take my niece along with me as she is a voracious reader.
Thankfully we have deeply instilled in her Christian values and continue to do so. This is a world steeped in wicked ways and it is our job, our God given duty to protect and teach the children so they may honor Him and live their lives in service to Him. It is no easy task. The rewards are great however.
Thank you for this post. I feel your pain and sorrow. These concerns will definitely be in my prayers tonight.
~Amie~
Please post a follow-up – I’m curious to know what the library does with this book. I’ve heard that the ALA can be pretty adamant about making sure that this kind of information is provided for patrons, included children.
[...] Another surprise awaited at the library. It left the brew*crew adventure Livid in the Library. [...]
IF i am right in thinking you are from Clarksville, TN, you might want to drive down to Ashland City – My little bookstore has new and used books for FAMILIES, especially homeschoolers.
Jo Ann – Stone Bridge Books & Gifts, now in anewthing.biz
Thank you for posting this. My kids are older than yours, way past the age it would be ok for me to still go through the stacks with them. When they were younger they knew that I had to approve all books before they could be checked out. This turned out to be a good habit, because now they always show me their books because talking about books is just what we do. This post was a good reminder for me, though, that I need to be dilligent about teaching my kids to be aware, even at our beloved library. My youngest is only nine, so this definitely applies to us. It’s just so sad that we have to be careful in a place like the library, which should be a safe place for families and children. And please, please, tell me this wasn’t at the Clarksville library. We used to live there. That would make this story even sadder to me.
Hi Amie,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and for your prayers in this. It is SO sad to me as well. I am sorry to hear about your struggles with your niece. Don’t underestimate your ability to be a Godly influence, as an auntie.
Hi Leslie,
Yes, I sure will post a follow-up, soon as I hear back from the librarians. I’m going there today, so will ask them what’s come of their “looking into it” and what exactly that entailed. Now that my adrenalin’s mellowed out over the whole affair, and I’ve had a bit of time to prayerfully consider it, I think I’ll be able to talk about it more calmly (like, without feeling all shaky inside, and hardly able to hear myself speak over my own heart beating so fast). Uggh, I hate confrontation like this, but it must be done. I did check and found that this particular book is on the ALA’s 100 most frequently challenged list. It’d be worth the effort just to keep it out of our library system… *hoping*
Hi Jo Ann Ray,
No, we’re not in Clarksville. We’re up in the Tri-Cities area, very NE corner of TN, but even so… it’s a small town. Thank you for your recommendation though.
Hi Sandy,
You’re welcome, and thank you for your comment and input! I did check through our interloan library system though, and saw that our city library, and the local college library (ETSU) are the only ones with this book on the shelf. I didn’t check for its sister publication though, Girls & S*x by the same author.
Blessings to you all and yours!
Wow. And to think that “Chickens aren’t the only ones” raised controversy. I really didn’t mind it, but instruction manuals? I think these sorts of books really belong in a “parent’s resource” section where parents can go select the books they wish to use to help them instruct their children.
Then I wouldn’t have much concern with any of it. I’m only worried about children stumbling across it, not that the books exist. But then, I have the sneaking suspicion that these books wouldn’t make it too long there. They only exist in the hopes that parents won’t notice what their children are reading.
Hey Dana,
You are totally right, and I completely agree. I wouldn’t ever call for outright censorship of a book just because I don’t agree with it, as I’d explained in my post, wouldn’t want to set that dangerous precedent in a public library. What I am asking my library for is consideration of the children in our community, respect for their innocence and well-being, protection of their parents’ rights to teach them this stuff- that they wouldn’t be stumbling across material of this nature in their area of the libary- as I know you agree. I too have seen plenty of the basic s*x ed books for kids in the junior section too that really don’t bother me one bit. This one was definitely of a different caliber though.
I’m happy to say that the librarians have all agreed so far. I asked about it today, since it was a different librarian, and she left a note that I was inquiring as to what would be done. We checked though, and the book was still OFF the shelf, so that’s good, and really all that I can ask for. She said that she agreed that a book of that nature has no place on the children’s floor of our library. Chris has decided that he’ll take it and destroy it if he sees it on the shelf again. Heh. Children stumbling across it on their own is my greatest concern as well. And there it was, on the 300’s “science and educatioin” shelf for kids, AS IF it were either.
Yeah, I thought the same thing too, about it’s not lasting long, nor ever even being checked out, if it were in an adult resource area for kids. And it’s strange to me that kids are able to check out books like this with their parents none the wiser. I guess that they do this a lot at their school libraries.
My sister’s a librarian at a middle school. She told me that she couldn’t believe all the graphic smut she was coming across when she started her job at this school, Gossip Girls series, etc. And she took it upon herself to clean house, and actually ADD some classics to the library’s collection. She spent the summer actually reading through a bunch of books and throwing them away. She was glad to have her Principal’s support, but said that she had kids requesting these books specifically and getting upset that they were no longer available.
Thanks for the heads up today Beth…. hopefully it will stay off the shelf. I think your husband’s idea was ingenius… check it out, take it home, and arrange a little accident…. I wouldn’t even mind paying for it if that’s what it took to get it out of the reach of the children.
I love when a book does that to me.
By the way, we love The Princess and the Kiss!! T he first couple times I read it to my girls, I got so choked up I couldn’t read
hey sis,
I remember when Dad would take me to the library and I would go straight to the romance section. I guess it is the 5th grade I am remembering. So, yah it is good you monitor the little ones in the library.
Preventing censorship is entirely different than promoting child p***!
Yes, ALA is far left-wing out of fear I think of the “1984″ concept, but c’mon really…this is simple common sense> that should NOT be in the library. Equate it with a movie and then it is oviously on the wrong age level! The fact that it is in book format, and so many people overlook or do not read those books has been why this is happening.
Reading this makes me hope that some day I might be able to protest this sort of thing in our libraries. Yet I have found that authors are increasingly adding graphic situations to books directed specifically to our children and placed for sale in our public schools. Please pray for my selections.
You should bring this book to the librarians’ attention. It is not unheard of for them to REMOVE it & you may be surprised how much support you will get from the rest of the public…maybe a comment in your local news Opinion section?
My first year I removed a slew of books from a “back shelf” reserved for students with parent permission. There ought to be a solution & I highly suggest you sit down with the book & the librarian and then ask her if she would feel OK about reading it aloud to a group of children!
Enraged > your sis
heh
I was so aggravated I commented before I read all your further comments…good to see it IS GONE! And yes, Chris would be a hero to destroy it lol Nobody would complain, “whatever happened to that 1 book I was going to check out?” shees Now we need to figure out, as a society, how to hold these “types of authors” accountable! hmm