the brew*crew adventure

I recently joined a great online homeschooling community, Our Lifestyle of Learning, in which I've found an interesting discussion going on among some of the mommies in the "Dirty Stinky Boys" group concerning boys and "Weapons!", prompted by this great article Molly Evert wrote called "Boys and Weapons". I could totally relate to Molly's post, in a few ways! So take a minute, click over to this Counter Cultural Mom's blog to read it, and then come on back over here to finish reading what I have to say! Go ahead...

Great thoughts, huh? I had to laugh from the start, since our experience with our oldest, who is our only son and now 13.5 years old, started out very similar when he was a mere toddler and we were also young, new parents. I too had declared that our son wouldn't play with toy guns, nor any other violent-type toys or games, thinking that they should be more respected than that. Chris is a hunter, and we strongly believe in the importance of supporting our second amendment right to own and bear arms. However, I had decided that until he was old enough to learn how to mindfully use and respect a real gun, our little boy didn't need to be pretending about it... My intentions were noble and my heart was in the right place... right? Yup.

N has always been a very gentle-spirited boy, but he is still a boy, none the less. When he was two years old he asked for a baby doll when he saw them in the store, and so we bought him one, with blue clothing! Interestingly, he was all about nurturing that little baby for quite some time, same as our two little girls have done at that age. However, he outgrew it much quicker than they ever did (though he still affectionately keeps his beloved stuffed animal doggie, "David", that his Grandmother gave him when he was three).

Over the years we have had numerous comments from other adults about how considerate, kind, and thoughtful he is. However, there is still that wild and daring boy in him too, which is always craving adventure and dangerous foes to conquer! From the time he was just a tot, he loved his toy trucks, playing in the dirt and... guns! I remember wondering where he'd even gotten the idea? Was it from Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd, catching sight of one of his little bud's plastic arsenals, or had he seen his Daddy cleaning one of his own guns? Even so, how did he know what they were at this tender, young age?! I will never forget the moment when I realized I had chosen a losing stance in a battle that maybe wasn't worth fighting after all.

He was no more than three years old when I walked into his bedroom one day and found him squatted over some brightly colored creation that he was intently working on assembling with his duplo blocks. He quickly held it up proudly for me to see, and it was then that I realized that this innocent little guy of mine, my baby, since he had no toy guns or weapons of any sort in our home, had just fashioned a nice little "gun that goes pow" for himself to play with! What to do, what to do?!

I vividly remember standing there a bit perplexed, yet smiling in amusement at both myself - for my own naivity in thinking that I would actually keep him from this - something that was apparently such an innate part of him, and at him for his ingenuity! Something within me clicked, released the anxiety I'd had, and began to understand my boy a little bit better that day.

I thoughtfully sat down with him to admire his creation and to have a talk about what we can shoot with our guns ("only an animal that we intend to eat, because guns are tools with a purpose and must be respected, as must the animals, whose lives should not be wasted"), versus what we cannot shoot at ("we do not aim at, nor shoot at people or animals- just for fun"). He seemed to understand and nodding his agreement, tromped off to go a-hunting! It had begun... Here he was only three years old, and already answering this primal desire to hunt, fight and triumph in his manhood!

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.

~ Mark Twain

Over the next few years, his play arsenal grew, as he acquired toy swords, rubber knives and an assortment of toy pistols, rifles and little army and pirate men. He and his friends found that their favorite games included either wrestling and grappling each other to the ground or taking turns burying each other in the sandy dirt behind our house. Yes, the army men eventually led to more talks as we discussed war, and how sometimes men do shoot at other men and I found myself silently praying for guidance even as I navigated through challenging topics of discussion with my five year old boy... "Yes, there is a time for war, self-defense and so on."

Once again, I found myself in strange, new territory as little N re-enacted battles we read of in history and literature together, as he happily became the heroe of fairy tales and collected GI Joes, setting up epic battle sequences among his Bionicles. I'll always fondly remember the comical positions I'd find his little GI Joe men in- all over the house- roped up and hanging by strings from lamps, chairs and buried up to their necks in the back yard.

Chris and I have often prayed for wisdom and discernment as we lead and teach our children, and you can be assured this area has been one in which we've gone to the Lord and sought His guidance in regards to what boundaries we should set many times. I know that I've had a lot more qualms about guns and war-play than Chris ever has, but Chris has always been so considerate and respectful so as to defer to my misgivings and patiently supported my decisions to not allow (or delaying access to, as it turned out) various things over the years.

It has been interesting to me to see how it's all played out over the years really, and how my own convictions have gradually changed as N has gotten older, which I think has been appropriate timing-wise. I've come to a place now where I really do believe that there's a balance to be had, somewhere between totally forbidding any toy weapons or play-fighting, war-pretending, etc. whatsoever versus allowing boys to have all the toy weapons that they want without their receiving any thoughtful parental guidance or overseeing of general attitudes and paying attention to the type of pretending going on. Even once we began allowing toy weapons, we were very careful to tune into what the games with friends were about, that violence wasn't being had for its own sake, and that life was being respected in thoughts and even (pretend) actions. I do remember stepping in and gently redirecting the bent of a game or two when friends were over, or reminding them that the gun was "pointed in the wrong direction- Ooops?!"

I now realize that it was his innocence that I so wanted to protect, and still do. Yet, it has been a journey in listening to both my own instincts, Chris's thoughts and the Holy Spirit as I've been learning how to do that while at the same time letting go enough that he may grow into a strong, vigilant young man, at the pace his Creator intended him to. I do believe that the Lord created boys to be protectors of life and liberty, providers for home and family and ultimately yes - even warriors for Him. Thus, the urge to fight comes naturally to them, yet what they need to be taught is that it comes with a great responsibility to prefer others to themselves, and that true strength is tempered by restraint and mercy.

Over the years, we have changed some of our parameters and restrictions regarding this type of play. At times, it's been very challenging, in my own mind, to find where to draw the lines. I've come to recognize our son's need to express himself through playing at fighting, and thus conquering evil through *valiant* violence as a valid part of who God has created him to be. Rather than fearing this trait, as I once did, I have determined to be the Lord's ally in directing it, as his boyish ways are honed towards manhood.

Now that N is 13 going on 14, his thinking is turning towards more abstract ideas and his understanding deepening as he's becoming interested in the truths of God's Word on a whole new level, asking questions and sharing insights that astound me, sending me to our heavenly Father in prayer more every day as I further realize the awesomeness of our responsibility as parents to disciple these children entrusted to us for but a short time.

It's been an exciting and rewarding new adventure in our learning together, as N is readily tuning into the realities of both spiritual warfare, recognizing that the greatest battles are being waged within our own minds, and the complexities of our world's geopolitical wars being waged among the peoples and principalities of various cultures and religions with all of their differing worldviews vying for the hearts and souls of mankind. Oh, the discussions we have as he eagerly reads everything over our shoulders and gobbles up real books from our home and library's bookshelves.

For a long time war games such as lazer tag, paintball guns, and air-soft were out of the question for him to play. However, as I saw him maturing and respectfully honoring my wishes, my own convictions as to what would be best for him also began to gradually change. I no longer fret over whether or not he's wanting to play a game of lazer tag with his friends, or disappearing into the woods for hours of dualing, snipering and air-soft gun battles with his sister (Um yeah, she too loves to don the cammo and join in on the battles with her brother and their friends!). This was quite a hurdle for me to adjust to- them play-shooting at eachother... but to them it's an innocent sport. While I totally understand and respect those who feel otherwise, I have let go of worrying about it. It honestly no longer concerns me, as I know where his heart is at, and I see that he's guarding it, seeking Wisdom and choosing Life.

We still will never allow him to play video games with graphic violence or blood spewing (and we've never owned an x-box, etc.), though as of this last year, he has been allowed to play an online virtual war game that one of his friends introduced him to and he really enjoys (though I'm still not too terribly fond of it!). We choose our battles, right? What a joy it has been to see this little boy grow and mature over the years.

His interest in weapons and warfare have given way to a genuine intrigue with history and survival skills as well, and in turn a deepening love of honor, a welcome penchant for theology and a healthy disdain for tyranny. His books of choice for his own personal reading time just these last couple of weeks have been his History of US volumes (which he's been reading through of his own volition this whole last year), Blood and Honor (This is an amazing autobiography that I happened across as I was packing up our bookcases, casually tossed to him yesterday, and now he's half-way through it, reading me excerpts and commenting passionately!), Gettysburg and Outcast of Redwall. He plans to tackle The Last of the Mohicans next, and these are all titles that he's choosing to read on his own time! The spontaneous, inspired narrations that Chris and I are getting from his readings are phenomenal and quite informative as to where his head is at!

I am continually, prayerfully reminding our kids that their strongest weapon, to be wielded against our truest enemy, is the Word of Adonai. When they whine over having to write or apply themselves to grammar and miscellaneous other studies they find inconvenient, I duly remind them that they are merely learning how to handle the tools of their future. They get to hear one of my favorite speeches to give about how, "One day they will thank me for teaching them to use one of the greatest weapons and most useful tools that they'll ever find; the ability to express their thoughts and convictions through the well written and spoken word."

... many wearing rapiers are afraid of
goose-quills and dare scarce come thither.

~ In Hamlet, 1600, Shakespeare gave Rosencrantz the line.

In a letter that Thomas Jefferson sent to Thomas Paine in 1796, he wrote:

Go on doing with your pen what in other times was done with the sword.

I remind our son of this truism often. We are teaching our children that guns do not necessarily equal violence or war. They actually serve as a preventative, and a deterrent to war and crime where the common, law-abiding people/citizens have the right to keep and bear arms. I am thankful that my son has a Father who is teaching him to not only respect weapons, but how to handle, care for and fire guns safely. Yes, sometimes my own fears do come flooding back over me when we're target shooting, and I am reminded of the sheer power of guns. But then I remind myself that our childrens' best defense against them, and their freedom, is knowledge, respect and ownership of them. Therefore, I do not mind that N is diligently saving his money to purchase a .22, nor that he has amassed quite a collection of real knives in the last couple of years.

As a mother, I certainly wouldn't want to stunt my son's growth towards manhood, and as he's getting older, I'm carefully trying to be balanced and discerning of my own misgivings, as to whether they are legitimate and founded. I do hope that I won't ever be guilty of contributing to an effeminate disposition, something that I'm afraid too many mothers are guilty of from their over coddling and protectiveness.

Here's a picture of N (the red head in the middle) that I took two years ago, of him and two of his buddies preparing for an afternoon of playing air-soft in the fields and woods behind our house. No, those are not gas masks (though they are eerily reminiscent of them, no?), but protective head gear! T, who normally would have been in the mix here, happened to have been playing "Breyer horses" at a friend's house instead on this particular day.

Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the American people's liberty teeth and keystone under independence... From the hour the Pilgrims landed, to the present day, events, occurrences, and tendencies prove that to ensure peace, security, and happiness, the rifle and pistol are equally indispensable...The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference--they deserve a place of honor with all that's good.

~ George Washington

Consider:
Number of physicians in the U.S. : 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year : 120,000
Accidental deaths per physician : 0.171
Number of gun owners in the U.S. : 80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths per year
(all age groups) : 1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner : 0.0000188

Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous
than gun owners. Hmmmm...

excerpted from:
www.c4cg.org/guns.htm

I have really been struggling with this whole moving thing these last few days... all of the unknowns looming larger on our horizon as our house's closing date approaches (and simultaneously SO thankful for THAT answer to prayer!). I deliberate over what to pack where and how to label boxes so that I can find stuff and retrieve it from storage if need be, since most of our stuff may remain in storage for awhile. All the while, I'm trying not to agonize too much over what books to keep out, and how long others will possibly be stored away... not to mention whether or not we'll even be somewhat settled by next Fall, as I'm hoping.

I've also found myself realizing how very much I'm going to miss this old house, with all of its roominess and custom renovations, a luxury that I/we most likely won't have again for quite some time. I'm hoping and praying that our temporary living arrangements- whatever they may end up being!- have transitioned to a more settled, permanent situation/home by the Fall... but who knows if that's gonna happen? Least of all- us! Mentally, I think that Chris and I are both preparing to live life more like nomads for awhile, and I'm vascillating somewhere between totally freaked out and expectantly excited.

I'm really not too surprised though, since we've been here before... on the verge of a move, and not really knowing where, when or how we'll land. We've lived here in this enchanting corner of the world, NE TN, for exactly five years now. Before this we were in central FL, temporarily- for only a year- while most of our stuff remained in storage, after being relocated from our previous year-long stint on the Gulf Coast of MS. We'd moved there quite spontaneously after having settled in central FL for the first half of our marriage thus far. We really did think that we'd be staying here for the long haul though, as we do so love this area.

Yesterday Chris returned from a short trip to Chattanooga, just to check out the area a little bit more. We're really just looking all around the Chattanooga area for a nice piece of land to buy, but are trying to stay within about a 30 min. drive radius from town. However, the price range we're looking for a house at will be considerably less than the one we're currently living in and are selling. Our only debt right now is our mortgage, and we're wanting to replace it with a monthly bill of about half of what it is now, which puts us in the range of $70-$80k max (or even less if we can find something acceptable, with potential). Since Chris can fix and build just about anything, we're assuming we'll find a good deal on something that will need some work but has lots of potential.

Though we could technically probably afford something more expensive, we're wanting to buy very conservatively, knowing that the economy is not getting any better and the Lord is leading us to prepare accordingly- and live simpler, that our way of living and homeschooling, with me staying home with our kids, may be maintained in tumultuous years to come. Obviously, having as little debt as possible is going to be nothing but blessings. We have such a beautiful place here, with lots of room, etc. that I'm really struggling with giving up, but at the same time, I'm realizing that any sacrifices made will all be SO worth the mental relief Chris and I will have in the long run, once we're on the other side of this move and he doesn't have so much financial burden to carry from month to month. You know what I mean?

I'm thinking that whatever we end up with is probably going to need lots of work. Chris has even mentioned possibly just buying some land, moving a camper trailer onto it for us to live in temporarily, building a big, metal storage building for all of our stuff to go in, and then building a house himself (with the help of loan and some sub-contractors, of course). Also, we're hoping to find something with at least a couple of acres (preferably more), since we've gotten used to having a little bit of elbow room land-wise, and really do appreciate our privacy. We even prefer less house with more land to vice versa.

Overall, what's got me worried the most I think is this upcoming immediate transition period... wondering if there's really enough room for us to stay with our generous friends while we look for a house? I'm a quiet-type person, and am used to a peaceful, usually quiet home environment... which wouldn't be the case where we're going, with so many people (and kids) in such a small house. Although it would probably only be a week or so that we'd actually be sleeping in their home, will we make it? LOL Yeah, of course we will... but it's just these and so many more unknowns that would drive me crazy if I let them... which I won't. Crazy is not an option. Yet.

NOT knowing, or rather- not thinking one knows (for do we ever really know what's around the corner from one day to the next?) where one will be living next month, but only that it will be temporary, really does cause one to lean harder on their faith (as well as the local libraries)... I'm finding myself praying more and needing to find that quiet, sacred space from which to TRUST in YAH a little more completely. Every. Single. Day. For truly, whether we acknowledge it, or not, He is our complete sustenance.

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, for in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.

~ Isaiah 26.3-4

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

~ Philippians 4.6-7

My blog here sure has been terribly neglected lately, hasn't it? I know, I know... If the truth be told, I haven't been much of a blogger this whole last year practically! *sheesh* Sometimes it's quite frustrating that I cannot seem to find enough time to do all that I would like to do, and that updating my blog keeps being one of the things that's getting bumped to the back burner in the line of daily priorities. My own fault, I know. However, I'm finding that the less I'm blogging, ironically, the less regrets I'm having concerning how my time is spent- overall. This is just a very general observation of mine from the last few years though, and I sure have nothing against blogging. I'm just sayin'!

Kids just grow up too fast, ya know? I mean, I merely blinked and my oldest went from being a toddler to turning 13 years old, and will be entering the eighth grade next year! When did that happen?! Ever since our youngest was born, I've been more determined than ever to make sure that these changes are happening while I'm tuned in and spending quantities of quality time with him (and his little sisters), rather than while I'm tuned out on the computer- doing my own thing. It seems that the less time I'm spending writing, reading or researching about homeschooling, homemaking, living, etc., the better job of it we're actually doing. But maybe that's just the season I'm in, or a coincidence? ...or just me... as I do tend to hyper-focus, and live in slow motion anyways. I think things must just take me longer...
As much as I could use it though, life, does not have a pause button. So many changes have been happening so quickly around here since my last update (three months ago already?!), and though I've had it on my "to-do" list to write an update(s) for some time, my days have just been so busy here that I'm worn out simply trying to keep up with the daily necessities of mommying and wifedom, let alone finding time for sitting down to compose a cognitive or creative blog post. And yet, I itch to write... long to blog, need to express myself creatively (more on that later)! So then, on the days when I've even had the time, and the motivation, or brain power for that matter, the problem of writer's block has set in.

With waiting this long to attempt to write a bit about what has been going on around here and what's been on my mind of late, when I do finally sit here to type, all of my thoughts tend to bottle-neck on their way to the forefront of my mind and fingertips, blocking all potential ideas from finding their way into words, thus contributing to my total lack of writing about our adventures lately. These last few months, Facebook and twitter have been more my speed, both requiring much less thought, and time. But enough with the excuses, time to catch up...

Yes, we did get our house all ready to sell and on the market! It's been an exhausting time, full of sorting, packing, and lots of painting, on top of all the normal daily activities we have. Within a week (last week) of its being MLS listed by our realtors, we had nine showings! An offer was then presented to us on this last Monday (also within a week of its listing!), which we've happily accepted! How's that for quick?!

If all goes well and proceeds smoothly with our buyers' financing, then our closing should happen right around its projected date of July 31st, which is also when we are to be out of the house by (provided we actually close by then). However, just as a precaution, per our realtor's recommedation, we are continuing to show the house until we actually close. It's tiring, keeping the house so clean and tidy 24/7 ... well, besides today. Since we didn't have any showings scheduled, which was nice- I was actually able to get some more packing done, and even left a few things strewn throughout the house AND some dishes undone in the sink (*gasp*) after a late-night dinner!

It has been an emotional rollercoaster around here for all of us lately, lemme tell ya! While the kids were mourning our moving away from all of their friends, Chris and I were stressing over our not yet being certain of where we were even going to be landing once our house sold... Angst over getting the house all ready to show by the time we listed it, which entailed A LOT of work, was also creeping in our minds!

On top of the usual cooking, cleaning and continuing with our homeschooling, along with wrapping up our year of dance classes with a crazy week of practices and a production, I packed all most of our excess stuff and clutter away (got rid of a bunch too), planted more flowers, herbs and a small garden, painted numerous coats of white paint onto interior door-frames, trim, doors, shelving, staged rooms to photograph for the listing, etc. while Chris repaired and painted the exterior of our double garage, dry-walled, finished out and then painted our utility room, pantry room and a second bathroom, in which he also built a shower, installed a toilet, sink, hot water heater and all new fixtures, etc. We had a time-frame of a couple of weeks to complete this, and ended up needing an extra week to get it all done... Whew, it was crazy! And we managed it with only one huge blow-out/blow-up of an argument between Chris and I... which was horribly traumatic for me since we rarely ever have them anymore. Yeah, it was stress-induced and short-lived, petty- of course. His fault- undoubtedly. Heh. Just kidding!

It was all so worth the effort though! I am happy to report that as of last night, we have a breakthrough and now even know where we are actually headed after our house deal closes! Decision is made, clarity has been gained and peace prevails. We'll be moving to the Chatanooga, TN area. Yes, I know that we'd mentioned Nashville before, but that was mainly for school purposes, and after looking into it further, Chris has decided that if he pursues the school route, he'd rather be a Physical Therapy Assistant than an Occupational Therapy Assistant. And there's a school for that in Chatanooga (which is smaller than Nashville, which is good for many reasons). But besides that, it's also closer to our families in both MS and FL, and it will be a good, central locale from which to operate his renewed business ventures, which involve him getting back into insurance and annuity sales (which he's very excited about since he has some great financial/investment vehicles to offer).

To top it all off, we have some very dear friends who live there and have offered for us to stay with them for as long as we need to get on our feet, until we find a place and get ourselves resettled thereabouts. Yay. I'm so excited... the kids are so excited now too! I do believe that the fact that we're moving to a place where they'll already have friends has helped. Now they can hardly wait for the trek to ensue! The whole dilemma of how to manage the transition and keep our big 'ol 100# German shepherd doggie is resolved this way too. We even found out that our vet will give him some sleeping pills before our trip to knock him out for the ride. Niiiice.

Chris is already feeling such a relief as he's combing through MLS listings of houses over there, and seeing some beautiful buying opportunities that will cost us half of what our current monthly mortgage is, which will be (and already is) such a huge weight off of his shoulders. THIS is why we're making this move... to reduce our debt (which is solely our mortgage right now, thankfully!), for the sake of his peace of mind and for our family's financial freedom. It's exciting to see the Lord working everything out so beautifully. He truly is ever faithful.

I'm sure going to miss this old house though... we all will. As N remarked today, "We had a new member of our family born while we lived here in this house!"... *sighs* Yes, sweet memories here... lots of planting, dying, nesting, waiting, tending and growing. Life. Isn't it interesting how one's heartstrings can become so entangled with a place, and its people?

I have so much more to share, but it's getting late, and so I shall save some for later. I do plan hope to write and blog more regularly in the upcoming days and weeks. I may even get around to sharing some of our homeschooling adventures... but then again, it's all learning, all the time... isn't it? For all of us!

I really like books... Whether I'm reading them aloud to my kids, casually thumbing through a new prospect at an old bookstore, browsing the aisles of my local library, intensely studying some subject or just sitting in a room surrounded by their company as they adorn their shelves, books comfort me. Thus, I tend to both inadvertently and purposely collect them.

Many years ago I was much more frivolous with my shelf space... twaddle and trifle abounded. I was a crazy woman at any and all library sales that I happened upon, whereas now- um, OKAY, I'm still a crazy lady at those, albeit a bit more composed! But at least I go with a list, and skip over more than I bring home, without regrets! Yes, as our collection of quality literature and classic children's books has grown over the years and all of our book shelves are in turn overflowing, I've found myself shopping for books with a much more discerning eye, and now actually even turning down books that were offered to me for free from time to time.

As I've learned what books we love, and have added various treasures and classics to our home library over the years, I have even... brace yourself... found myself simultaneously weeding out books to actually get rid of! Yeah, have had to make room for the new ones, the ones worth keeping. But I digress, that is another post for another day... What I'm getting at is wanting to share with you one of my favorite, favorite resources for getting those books off your wish list for really cheap, as well as for getting rid of all of those other books that you don't really need or even want anymore. Enter PaperBackSwap!!

Yeah, I'm sure that many of you are now nodding your heads, knowing full well from your own experience what a wonderful tool this service can be... But some of you may not even know about it yet, or maybe you've heard of it and thought "What a hassle." or "How good can it really be?" or even searched for a book and didn't find it right then so you never pursued it further. Then just maybe, this post is for you!

I have an extensive wish list of books that I've compiled over the years from various sources, the ones that I'm always on the look out for, mostly for my kids to read in their upcoming homeschool years, but also plenty for my own personal education as well. Chances are, you do as well. Am I right? Need I even ask this crowd? That's why we homeschool, right? So we can always justify buying more books and then sit around and read them (with or without the kids) - daily!

So I thought that I'd just share with you some of my own experience with this wonderful company. I've been a book swappin' member for over three years now. In that time I've received 132 books and I've mailed out 89 to other PBS members. According to PBS, I've saved $598.50 over the last three years.

It's a fairly simple program to use, once you get the gist of the process. I've always followed the company's suggestions on packaging books, wrapping them in a protective layer of saran wrap and then folding and taping a make-shift envelope around them with the two sheets of paper that the mailing information you need is printed out on, including pre-printed postage (if you like) and the shipping address. Therefore, I've managed to keep my costs minimal; just the price of postage, be it the media mail rate or first class, depending upon the size of the book. The website calculates which is cheaper for you with each book, according to its dimensions, and then gives you various mailing options.

The website is very well laid out, and every time that I've had a question of problem (only twice), it's been dealt with promptly. I could go on and on with all kinds of details about how the program works, but basicly for every book that you mail to someone else, you get a "credit" which you can then turn around and use to "request" a book that someone else has posted to the system that you want. You find these either by searching by title, author, ISBN, etc. or by keeping a running wish list (which I do) so that if a book that you're looking for isn't currently available, eventually when that book is posted by another member, you will be notified. This is especially necessary for those great literature reads on most of the various curricula lists. I've gone from #30+ in line waiting for a book on my list, to receiving notice that it was finally available and receiving it in the mail (OH happy day!)... and let me tell you, I've gotten some real gems from just waiting!

Everything that you need to know is all there on their site. Also, I would definitely recommend that you include in your setting any special "Requester Conditions" that you might have for the books you want to receive. A couple of years ago I received a book that wreaked so bad of nicotine smoke that we were gagging before we even opened the package. Obviously, we had to trash it, and my credit was restored to me after I complained. One other problem book I had was water damaged and the binding falling apart- just not worth keeping, nor up to PBS's written standards. Again, my credit was returned. But those are the only instances I've had that weren't great! That's when I took the time to write in my own requester conditions, which you're welcome to use as well.

Please do not send me any books that have been in a smoking environment and smell of smoke. Not interested in books that do not meet PaperBackSwap's standards (such as water damaged pages/covers, tears on their pages/covers or binding falling apart). Normal wear and obvious usage is of course acceptable and to be expected. Thank you so much!

The whole family has made note of how new the condition of every book we've been getting has been lately! It's just such a treat to have our mail peppered with new books so regularly. There have been quite a few times that a book from my wish list that I really wanted has come up available (you're notified via email when it does) and I didn't have a credit. PBS does offer you the option of purchasing credits for just this reason, which I've done numerous times. Other times, if it's been a book we ended up checking out from the library and decided we didn't really need to own, or I just didn't feel like spending the few bucks on, I've just passed and the book in turn went to the next person in line with it on their wish list. It's a really cleverly orchestrated, smooth running system!

Would you believe that I've collected beautiful editions of most of the D'Aulaire books via PBS over the years? Yep, along with some harder to find OOP books as well! Just for fun (and so that I can tell someone who will appreciated it!), I'll share with you some of the titles we've received recently, most of which I had sitting on my wish list for quite some time. The last book we received came yesterday, and we're so loving it! It's one from my "living math" books wish list. A Beginner's Guide to Constructing the Universe: Mathematical Archetypes of Nature, Art, and Science :: Michael S. Schneider

The last ten books we received before that were:

• Complete Jewish Bible : An English Version of the Tanakh (Old Testament) and B'Rit Hadashah (New Testament)
• Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
• Walking the Bible (children's edition) : An Illustrated Journey for Kids Through the Greatest Stories Ever Told
• Making Thirteen Colonies (A History of Us, No 2)
• Joan of Arc :: Mark Twain
• War, Peace, and All That Jazz/Book 9 (A History of Us)
• Sketches of Jewish Social Life :: Alfred Edersheim
• How Should We Then Live? The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture :: Francis A. Schaeffer
• Celebrate! Stories Of The Jewish Holiday by Gilda Berger
• The Laurel's Kitchen Bread Book : A Guide to Whole-Grain Breadmaking :: Laurel Robertson, Carol Flinders, Bronwen Godfrey

If you'd really love to acquire some new books, and have a few lying around that you wouldn't mind parting with, then I encourage you to join PBS and get started making your own wishlist!

• How to Swap Your Books
• PBS Member Testimonials

A room without books is like a body without a soul.

Cicero, (Attributed)
Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)

Embracing the adventure,

For even if the fig tree doesn't  blossom,
and no fruit is on the vines,
even if the olive tree fails to produce, and the fields yield no food at all,
even if the sheep vanish from the sheep pen,
and there are no cows in the stalls;
still, I will rejoice in ADONAI,
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
ELOHIM ADONAI is my strength!
He makes me swift and sure-footed as a deer
and enables me to stride over my high places.

~ Havakuk 3.17-19, Complete Jewish Bible

See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

~ Matthew 6.28-31, NIV

Related Post: time & money~ Listening to the Master

Happy Shavuot (Pentecost)!

I was recently offered the opportunity to read and review this newly released book, Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith, co-written by two Christian women who are both wonderfully inspiring teachers themselves, Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. I am thankful to Ms. Tverberg for this privilege, as it has been a joy to read of her own journey towards God, and to share in some of the priceless discoveries she and Ann have made along the way as they've (obviously) been sitting at the feet of Jesus. I'm honored to now have this opportunity to share a bit about it with others.

Where to start? I found myself unable to sit down with this book without a pencil to make notes or underline with! It’s one of those rare books where it seemed like I just had to highlight just about every other line I read- seriously! And as I read,  it crossed my mind more than a few times how enjoyable this book was to simply relax with. With all of its otherwise interesting content aside, these ladies are just great writers, which makes a big difference as to whether or not I actually finish a book! Also, I love the way that the book is laid out- transitions from one venue of thought to another are very organized and cohesive. It just flows well, which is important when an author is covering so much ground! Also, even though a lot of historical/contextual territory is covered, this book is SO NOT dry, nor choppy with its presentation. I never felt overwhelmed or bogged down with information.

With an ongoing interest of the last ten years in studying and learning about the Hebraic roots of my own Christian faith, the title intrigued me immediately. Consequently, when I found out from Ms. Tverberg that the book was co-edited by Dr. Marvin Wilson, author of Our Father Abraham, I knew that this book was going to be not only doctrinally sound, but well-researched, historically accurate, and just plain-out good! Then when I also realized that Ms. Tverberg is a co-founder of the En-Gedi Resource Center, I was doubly pleased. I’ve read quite a few articles from that site and have been so blessed by them over the years. Some of you may also be familiar with some of the many other books that Mrs. Spangler has written.

However, even with all of my anticipation as I eagerly awaited its arrival in the mail, I was still taken by surprise as I read it. These ladies make a great writing team!! Before I continue on with my lengthy review, I’d like to mention that at the bottom of this post are directions as to how you can win your own FREE copy of this book by commenting on my review over at the HSBA Post. Now, on with this review, in which I’m certain that I will not do this book justice, which is why you’ll just have to read it for yourself!

I found myself wondering over new discoveries and beautifully glimmering nuggets of insight I found, even within the first few pages… and then continuing throughout every. single. chapter! For the record, I’ve read quite a bit of literature in this field of study over the years, but I am so excited to see another credible/balanced book that expounds on this most important topic- the Jewishness of Jesus and why it matters - enter the mainstream Christian market. Sharing these fascinating truths is a cause which has grown consistently more near and dear to my heart, since learning about this stuff has had such a grounding impact on Chris and I’s faith over the last decade.

Learning more about the 1st Century Judaic world in which Jesus taught and the Hebraic mindset/cultural context of those to whom He spoke and interacted with will undoubtedly add wonderful new dimensions to your own understanding of His Word as you walk with the Rabbi Jesus. I’ve been amazed at all of the nuances of teachings my Westernized mind totally missed when I first read certain Scriptures, and how so many teachings in the Bible have now literally come alive with deeper meanings once I’ve learned more about the scene, all of the unspokens that the people that were there living in this culture, with a deep knowledge of God’s Torah just already knew and understood. Truly, I have been humbled and stirred to cry out to the Spirit for His wisdom and guidance, as I’ve been re-reminded of how very little of His Word I know. I’ve had lots of “A-ha!”, “Wow.” moments with this book…

As Christians we can never forget that the Bible - from Genesis through Revelation - is essentially a Jewish document. Once we begin to read it from a Jewish perspective, our experience of it will be transformed, as though we have just swapped an old black-and-white TV with its scratchy image for the latest flat screen, high-definition set. Suddenly the Bible takes on new depth and color as we read the familiar stories once again, but this time from the perspective of its original audience. ~ excerpted from “Why Focus on Jesus’ Jewishness?”, a subsection of Ch. 1, Joining Mary at the Feet of Jesus.

Having seen how enriched my own family’s spiritual journey has been as we’ve pursued God in this manner, I am so very thankful to have now found this wonderful resource to recommend to friends as a sort of Hebraic roots primer. In the last few years I’ve been on the look-out for a good one, and have recommended other books covering similar topics, ALL of which are WONDERFULLY written, great, scholarly books that I do/will still highly recommend… However, now, this shall be my first recommendation to those who ask for a place to start or from which to continue their own studies or are maybe looking for a way to add depth to their devotional time with the Lord Jesus, in an approachable, easily “digestible” manner.

Sometimes his references were obvious and sometimes subtle - only a word or two. In fact, there are times when knowing what Jesus doesn’t say becomes as important as knowing what he does say. In other words, the passages from which Jesus quoted provide background for understanding his meaning more fully. If we miss his reference, we may miss his point. ~ excerpted from “‘Hinting’ to the Scriptures”, a subsection of Ch. 3, Stringing Pearls. (Loved this chapter!!)

This ancient rabbinic concept of “stringing pearls”, which was employed by Jesus Himself as a teaching method, is explained in detail and I found it absolutely fascinating, as it offers such beautiful imagery and insights that one would otherwise most definitely miss as they read and meditate upon the Word. A few examples are given of how this particular approach rabbis often use(d) to teach (and rebuke) their talmidim (Hebrew for disciples/students) applied to a few instances in the Gospels that totally blew my spiritual socks off!

Yes, this book is truly that good, so manageable in the way it’s organized, thorough in its scope of topical introductions and uplifting in its approach, taking one’s hand like a gentle teacher bent on showing you an easily missed, though well worn path toward an unforgettable garden of ideas. And yet, as I can testify, this is no watered down version of scholarship either. I do believe that both Ann and Lois are truly gifted authors, who have managed to balance the technical aspects of so much tedious research with their casual, narrative storytelling-like manner of writing. I was truly captivated from the first page, as I walked along the road, behind the Rabbi, headed towards the home of Mary and Martha.

Female Students in the First Century Women were encouraged to sit in on the advanced discussions at the synagogue if they were able. A few even acquired the high level education required to contribute to rabbinic debates, and their words are still on record. Some restrictions on women, like separating men and women during worship, actually arose several centuries later. (A margin note from Ch. 1, Joining Mary at the Feet of Jesus, Footnotes included for reference in back of book.)

This is a gem of a book!! Numerous times as I read I was moved deeply, had to stop to ponder, pray, re-read to my husband, discuss and delightedly thank the Lord for using this book to re-ignite my (lately) tired mind and waning spirit. I am thankful to these two beautiful ladies for helping to fan into flame my own faithfulness, the gift of God within me…

It is a genuinely easy to read book, written on a subject of study that - albeit intriguing- is one that is often quite overwhelming and easy to bog down in (especially when you first begin to dig so deeply- ask me how I know?). As one begins to research, read and pursue the Scriptures within their historical context, one is faced early on with an almost (seemingly) insurmountable amount of new information to sort through and synthesize… Yet somehow Ann and Lois have managed to serve a wonderfully proportioned size of soul nourishing insights in an immensely engaging manner, approachable by the average reader/Believer curious to know more of where their spiritual heritage lies and what ramifications it may hold for their own daily lives. However, this book remains as academically sound and spiritually challenging as any of the other “harder” books I’ve read on this subject.

The book has 14 chapters, with each chapter having 3-5 subheadings. Also discussion questions and even project/activity ideas for further study/interaction are provided at the end of each chapter in a section appropriately subtitled "At the Feet of the Rabbi". Chris and I are looking forward to re-reading this book again next year with our 13yo son and 10yo daughter as well, as a devotional reading in our homeschool, and then I'll be sure and take the time to make the most of these thoughtfully offered suggestions with them.

Introduction

1. Joining Mary at the Feet of Jesus
2. Why a Jewish Rabbi?
3. Stringing Pearls
4. Following the Rabbi
5. Get Yourself Some Haverim
6. Rabbi, Teach Us to Pray
7. For Everything a Blessing
8. A Passover Discovery
9. Discovering Jesus in the Jewish Feasts
10. At Table with the Rabbi
11. Touching the Rabbi’s Fringe
12. Jesus and the Torah
13. The Mysterious Kingdom of God
14. Becoming True Disciples of Our Jewish Lord

Appendices
A Prayers Jesus Prayed 211
B The Feasts 218
C Recommended Resources 222
D Glossary 226
Notes 234
Scripture Index 253
General Index 257

Sprinkled within the margins of this book are little shaded boxes full of interesting contextual tidbits, definitions and explanations which are very helpful. This was a really nice touch, glad they thought of it! It was nice to have these comprehension helps so accessible as I read (or reviewed!).

With today being the Eve of Passover, I thought that it would be fitting to share some from the eighth chapter, A Passover Discovery, with you all.

The Garden of Gethsemane by John Miller Watt

Have you ever wondered over how the disciples could have fallen asleep on that fateful night in the garden of Gethsemane, even after their Rabbi had twice asked them to keep vigil with him on the most challenging night of his life? Or maybe, like me, you’ve wondered over the fickleness of the Jewish crowd in Jerusalem who adored Jesus one week, praising Him with the waving of palm branches as he entered the city, and yet seemingly hated him the next, shouting “Crucify him!”?!  Louis Tverberg has made an excerpt, Under the Passover Moon, which is a sort of introduction to the rest of Ch. 8, entitled A Passover Discovery, available here on her blog. In it she touches on those ideas…

There is so very much more in the next three sections of this particular chapter as well, concerning the significance of this ancient Feast, “laden with messianic expectations and filled with prophetic significance”, which as recorded in the Gospel accounts, our Lord was so careful as to have His closest disciples make special preparations for, that He might share it with them one last time while here on earth… As Lois and Ann write later in the Passover chapter,

Knowing how the events of Jesus’ last week fit into the celebration of Passover shows us the tremendous significance of his death and resurrection.

The next four sections of this particular chapter are subtitled, Jesus’ Last Passover, The Bread of Passover, The Feast of Firstfruits, and Remembering Our Redemption. As you can imagine, there’s a lot of profoundly soul-stirring, faith-grounding insights here in this one chapter alone! Let me just share a taste with you, and then I’m going to have to make myself stop and wrap up this review, lest I write a book about it myself!

... Redemption did arrive on the very day they were looking for it, but it took a surprising shape. For God had engineered a far greater liberation than they had imagined - freedom not just for one people but for all people. And it was to be liberation not from the earthly power of a political enemy but from the sinister power of sin and death.

During the Passover in Egypt, the Israelites had been instructed to mark their doorframes with the blood of a lamb so that the Lord would pass over them when judgment came. Interestingly, the rabbis marveleed at how the blood of a mere sheep could protect people from God's judment. They commented that God must have seen the "blood of Isaac" o the doorposts- meaning that God remembered Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son. Remembering it, he spared his people. How close they were! What they did not realize was that when God saw Abraham's son Isaac, he saw his own Son, Jesus, who would one day sacrifice himself out of loving obedience to his Father.

On the first Passover, God freed his people by taking the life of the firstborn sons of Egypt. Many centuries later, God made salvation possible for all who would accept it by giving the life of his firstborn Son. ~ excerpted from Jesus' Last Passover, a subsection of Ch. 8.

The Passover Lamb by Frederick T. Heath

... Jewish scholar David Daube has pointed out that another significant meaning was given to the bread Jesus broke. He says that Jesus held up a piece of matzah and broke off a special piece called the afikomen, which was then hidden away. At the end of the meal the afikomen was brought out and then broken and eaten by all the participants. Still today this is done, but the explanations vary as to why- ...

... But Daube asserts that in Jesus' time, the afikomen referred to "the coming one", meaning the longed-for Messiah. The tradition was that the whole piece of matzah represented all of Israel, and that the Messiah was "broken off" from the people and hidden away. The appearance of the piece a the end was symbolic of the coming of the Messiah, fervently expected at the time of Jesus. When Jesus held up that particular piece of bread and said, "this is my body", he was making a shocking claim to be the Messiah, the Christ. Daube believes that rabbies later downplayed the messianic nature of this ritual because of the poor relationship that developed between Christians and Jews. ~ excerpted from The Bread of Passover, a subsection of Ch. 8

Get the book! I highly recommend that you get yourself a copy asap (Be sure and enter the give-away!), move it to the top of your reading list, and read it! Then get yourself some haverim (Hebrew for friend, but so much more too- read the book!) and share what the Lord reveals to you as you continue to walk with Him. I'd love to hear your thoughts as you read it too, so please share them! I hope that you are refreshed and renewed in your own pursuit of the Rabbi, our Messiah Jesus... I know that I've spent more time sitting at His feet for having read it these last couple of weeks... But don't simply take my word for it, check out the endorsements of these well-known and highly respected authors and scholars of the Bible and Judeo-Christian studies found here.

Ann Spangler has also made a PDF of Chapter 1 from Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus available on her website, along with the book's Table of Contents and the Introduction, all available for free download and reading by clicking here.

To WIN A FREE COPY OF THIS BOOK, SIGNED BY Ms. TVERBERG, for yourself, you have to hop over to my review (same as this one) posted over at the HSBA Post (click here) and follow the directions as they're posted at the bottom of the review.

You have a week! I'll announce the winner on Thursday, April 17th over at the HSBA Post. 

One random winner will be chosen per Random.org by comment number. Entries must be received by Wed., April 15th- midnight, Eastern standard time. You must provide your address to me as well so that I can let Lois know where to send the book!

Thanks for reading this long review, and entering our give-away. There's still so much more I'd like to share and discuss from this book, and will probably still continue writing more about my own grapplings as I continue to interact with it here on my blog. I pray that the LORD will multiply the efforts of these authors and their readers, for the fruit from this book in the lives of those who read it shall surly be good and plentiful.

Honestly, though curious, I did not expect to be this impressed, renewed and refreshed upon my reading of this (new favorite) book of mine! OH! what a surprise I was in for... I sincerely do hope that you will take the time to read this book for yourself, since as you can see, my review here is also a hearty recommendation!

Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus: How the Jewishness of Jesus Can Transform Your Faith
By: Ann Spangler, Lois Tverberg

Publisher: Zondervan Publishing
Copyright: 2009
Synopsis from Zondervan:
Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus takes readers on a fascinating journey, helping them discover how learning about the Jewish world of Jesus can enrich their own faith. By exploring the land, culture, customs, prayers, and feasts, Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg help readers to perceive Jesus through the eyes and ears of first-century Jews.   Click for product description and details
ISBN: 0310284228,  ISBN-13: 9780310284222

Pages: 208 plus several appendixes and index, 272 altogether

Embracing the adventure,

Aaah yes, adventures indeed! It looks like we are going to be moving soon, one way or the other! There seems to lots of interest in our house, which we've recently decided to sell, and for a very good price. Check it out! Hopefully everyone won't be scared away by all the work yet to be done when they come to walk through! Hah! Tough decision, yes, but one we've been mulling over for quite some time, though we've continued to hope and pray that the Lord would provide for us to keep and continue in this little corner of the world for a much longer time. I do believe that Chris is most regretting the prospect of leaving the lovely manly, awesomely huge shed he's put so much blood, sweat tears into, and recently finished!

Moving... *sighs* I really ought to be getting good at it by now, but I am not... it's never easy, especially as the kids are getting older. I know it sure feels crazy- but necessary as it is, it's also already feeling like a big relief and the wisest direction we can take right now. I'm so sad at the thought of possibly having to move away from our dear friends here in this beautiful area... that would/will? be really hard, as I don't for a second take for granted the genuine, amazing friends (family) the Lord has so generously blessed us with here, all of us! And yet I'm strangely excited to see what the Lord has in store for us too, since I'm sensing a shifting of change in my spirit for us, as the Lord seems to be shaking things up in such a way as to catalyze/(lovingly) force our having to make these tough decisions NOW- much sooner than Chris or I had anticipated!

However, even though this decision seems to have been thrust upon us abruptly, we're not surprised really, as all the factors and reasons we're going through with this have been adding up for quite some time and have simply recently culminated in His good timing, I'm sure. Life is such a blessed adventure with God at the helm, isn't it! But even if we did move *away*, there's always the possibility that we'd move back too, once Chris finished school. We really have no idea at this point, obviously. Let me explain...

As you may or may not know, Chris has been subcontracting (among other things, he's a lineman- climbs really high poles- or goes into manholes- and splices telephone wires and stuff) for two different contractors these last couple of years. The first ran out of work and so referred him to the contractor he's been working for this last year... Chris ended up having to work out of town all week a couple of weeks ago, and then didn't have any work last week (though he used his last few days paid vacation to cover some of the week), and though they have some local work this week- he may be out of work completely very soon. It turns out that the contractor that Chris works for is most likely about to lose their contract with Scott Co., VA, which may be one reason they're sending them out of town to work now? But anyways, Chris may be out of a job any day now, and he's not interested in working several hours away every week to chase a job that's not worth it and really leaves us just scraping by every month anyways, and is also so volatile, being contract-dependent... Time is too short, and the kids are just growing up too fast for Dad to be away week after week- I don't blame him a bit for refusing that- it's not what the Lord has called him to! Even with Chris selling some insurance policies on the side when he's able, and not having any debts besides our mortgage, we're totally stretched to the max every month, and then some.

We do not like, nor do we want to be dependent upon state-funded financial aid, though we've been thankful for it, since humbling though it may be, Chris works harder than most and we've paid our taxes for years, and it has been one of the ways the Lord has apparently seen fit to help provide for us thusfar. However, ironically any increase in wages would at this point actually be a detriment to our overall financial well being, causing us to no longer qualify for TN Care (insurance) for our kids, and yet we still wouldn't be able to afford buying insurance on our own... Ironic and depleting morale wise- no? How's that for a conundrum?

Thus, we've come to a place of realization that the Lord wants us to sell this house- as much as I love it and will miss it, it's just a house, our HOME is being together- and we have such a peace about it now. Chris is actually even looking forward to getting the monkey/burden it's been OFF of his back. This seems to be how the Lord is leading us to allow Him to shoulder this burden of providing for our shelter and sustenance right now. We're totally stepping out in faith, it's exciting... though a bit overwhelming (and tiring with all the late nights working on the house and more purging lately!), to say the LEAST!

Due to his job possibly being no more very soon, he's been applying to other local jobs (as he has already been doing for a long time anyways- since it's such a crummy job) but is mostly even considering going back to school so as to end this seemingly endless cycle of dead-end jobs that barely provide. The program he's considering- Occupational Therapy Assistant- would require that we move to Nashville for a few years. It's the closest program for this degree that is shortest to complete time-wise. However, if he could get a decent job locally, we'd definitely consider staying here for at least another year while he took a few pre-requisite classes for the OTA program. Either way, we realize that our mortgage is a sizable financial burden and obligation that we're better off just free of right now, so that we're able to move in whatever direction the Lord would have us go from here.

There are more job options in Nashville though... obviously, and we're thinking we'll probably end up buying a VERY cheap house, like $50k or even LESS (there's actually lots of great deals on decent house foreclosures just outside of Nashville right now), using some of our equity money from our selling this house to quickly renovate it as needed to *clean and cute*... albeit small cozy, it could work, and certainly be more than merely livable. The mortgage on something that cheap would be affordable enough each month that we could swing it MUCH easier while Chris is in school, if that's what he/we finally decide upon. So far, it's seeming to make more sense to just go ahead and move straight away to Nashville, rather than relocating locally for a year, only to have to move again in a year to Nashville. Know what I mean? Lots still up in the air... as you can see. It will probably ultimately depend upon whether or not Chris gets one of the jobs he's applied for here locally, SOON, or not. If not, we'll head to Nashville and settle in for school and living on part-time work, pell grants and student loans for a few years- which is actually feasible with a mere $100-$300 monthly mortgage, which is cheaper than what one can find to rent for these days- and we could keep Samson that way! Besides, 'twould be better to sell it now than lose it later (this house I mean), right?! Um, yeah... fer sure.

So, all that to say that I'm okay, we're good- but just a bit overwhelmed to say the least- and BUSY! I'm trying to clean, reorganize, declutter and pack all while staging each room for pictures and creating a website (which is a blog- cause it's free!) for the sale of our house, by owner. Fun. *smiles* YES, I'll keep you all updated.

Your prayers are much appreciated too!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~ Jeremiah 29.11

I just noticed that the Scripture over there in my sidebar for today is

"Do not be afraid; only believe."

~ Mark 5.36

Wow, what a timely reminder, cool.

Embracing the adventure,

It's now been about two weeks since I posted that I was going to start updating my blog regularly again... What happened, you may be wondering? Well, I got sick, and then as soon as I started feeling better- almost a week later- N got sick, followed by T and lastly baby S, who is just now getting back to her chipper little self again. Fortunately, N and T were only sick for a couple of days each, though I was sick for nearly a week. We are all just so thankful that Chris never came down with this horribly aching, feverishly headachey, coughing crud!

Speaking of Chris, we are all missing him lots. He's spending most of this week three hours away from us, for work... not fun. In his absence, I have mostly been holding a crying, sick baby who's been practically permanently attached to me 24/7 (yes, even in her sleep... like I said- 24.7.) for the last few day, losing sleep and praying that I don't get sick again. We've all been consuming large amounts of garlic and vitamin C as well as inhaling Oregano Oil via our humidifier, so as to see that we don't!

Wow, I'm so far behind in the blogging department, where to even start?! First off, I'd like to welcome anyone who may be visiting my blog here for the first time- having hopped over from my introduction over at the HSBA Post. For my regular readers who may not know, I was asked to be a regularly contributing writer over at the Post, and accepted- so I'm looking forward to that! My first post over there will be a book review... stay tuned! I'm thinking that a few writing deadlines will do me some good, what say you?! LOL Speaking of book reviews, I've a few that I need to get posted here as well.

Our homeschool updates... yes, yes, I know, they're long overdue- and they're bound to come sooner or later (hopefully sooner)! Things have been going wonderfully, but I'm going to save that for another post (or two) of its own. Right now I mostly feel like giving this tired blog of mine a face-lift... some early spring freshening-up. I've been in the mood for and doing some early spring cleaning and de-cluttering around my house here too, hoping to have most of it done by the time the weather starts warming up nicely, that I may then turn my attention (guilt-free) to outdoors and gardening! Meanwhile, it's cold and dark outside, Chris is away, and I feel like tinkering, thus please excuse the dust while I move some stuff around here in this blog- my virtual home. I only hope that I can achieve ample creative-outlety results here with my very limited Wordpress template choices, where I can't even mess with the back-end design codes... *sighs* Alas, sometimes I miss my blog's being on blogger for that reason alone- fiddling potential, yet I do love Wordpress too, and so I deal with it. Aaah well, as always, newcomers and blessed regulars alike, make yourself at home, and let me know what you think... I always love hearing from you!

Also, I just discovered Picnik, and am having fun learning how it works... I'm really liking that I can watermark/write on my photos now, among other things... it'll do until I can one day get Photoshop Lightroom, and my new digital SLR, right? A girl's gotta dream...

By the way, whadaya think of the ladybug pic at the top there, for my header... am I showing too much skin? Hardy-har-har... but seriously, is it kinda too much *ick* factor? I'm lovin' the ladybug though, so spring... did I mention that I'm really ready for spring? We're all getting a bit stir-crazy over here.

****Up way too late update: Scratch that, changed themes, therefore my ladybug on skin (a macro shot of a ladybug on my daughter's hand) header photo is now gone! Not sure how I feel about that yet...**Yet even later Update: Okay, I think we're good... am now using a photo of a blue cornflower that I took in our field a couple of years ago, which matches this particular WP them/template rather nicely... It'll have to do for now. I'm toast- goin' to bed!

This is something that I wrote early last August... a finished thought that, for some reason?, I just didn't hit *publish* on and let sit in my draft folder instead. Ironically, it's titled "timing", so maybe this is the right timing for it to be published anyways, after all?

*******************************************

My heart has been heavy these past few days, haven't even been altogether sure why. The local homeschool yahoo group has had some controversial postings and ensuing discussion concerning Israel, the war in/U.S. occupation of Iraq, etc., etc. (there were lots of peripheral issues intermingled and left unaddressed). I reminded myself that I do not have the time, nor the energy to spare, to enter into that discussion right now... and yet it pained me to read and contemplate some of what I perceive to be as misconceptions and even some parroted misinformation.

I turned to the Lord, and prayed for guidance, and answers to some of the questions that were brought up within my own mind, fully realizing that I certainly do not have the answers to the complex issues being discussed... Maybe that is a piece of the root of my perplexion. Anyhow, I do believe that the Lord has given me a few insightful truths, but He did not give me the liberty to share them at this time, in that venue.

Yesterday I found a strong, quiet comfort in simply turning to Him with my angst and turmoil over the questions spinning in my head. My heart was hushed as He gently reminded me that this place in time- my reaching out to Him, and communing with His heart- was better than airing my half-baked opinions for the locals to read right now anyways. I want only to share His truth, and that in love. The discussion has been very kind and respectful, a real testament to the faith of those having it... but I feel some important aspects haven't even been addressed... and I'm frustrated, but that's okay.

I'm letting it go, because no matter what I would say anyways, people will have their opinions. I am reminded that the Lord alone can truly reveal deception and change hearts when needed, and that He doesn't even need my help to do it! Unless the Lord would have me speak, and my words therefore be spoken under the guidance and love of His Spirit, then I'd rather just not speak at all. I do not want to err with idle words, or be fruitless in my conversation (especially time consuming debates). And so, I am relieved to refrain, refreshed to simply read along and trust in the Lord as I bring my reflections and disputing to His ear alone.

Therefore, this discussion has served an interesting purpose that I sure didn't anticipate when I first started reading it... it's been fodder for my own pursuit of God this weekend, and a timely one at that. As I alluded to, it's churned up some unanswered questions that I've had, shined the light on some half-formed thoughts that I'd shoved to the dark corners of my considerations and forgotten about. I know that I'm probably sounding vague here, and for that I apologize, I'm just trying to work it out. It's sorta hard for me to explain... imagine that.

You see, as I prayed and considered, I've seen that it's not even so much about the immediate political and religious issues being discussed (important as they are), but rather some of their underlying premises and ramifications of how they're perceived. I noticed some of the "ends justifying the means" type of faulty thinking being heralded in the name of Christendom, a dangerously slippery slope that I don't think the Lord condones. I guess the easiest way to sum it up would be to say that it all has just gotten me wrestling over some matters again, and asking the Lord for some immediate comfort, needing His assurance urgently... not even the answers per se, just assurance of His directing me. *smiles* I love being in that place, where only He can lead me. I certainly cannot contrive it, but rather realize it and embrace my neediness for Him.

I've found a solace in embracing my questions and bringing them to Him, and laying them down in His presence, that I could not have had, had I known all of the answers (hah!) to these difficult questions being raised and debated. Had I even been able to eloquently set a few matters straight with grand renderings of the truth as I see it, I would not have known the fullness of joy that I received last night as I thrilled (once again) over realizing that He is leading me and guiding me... slow though I may be, ever forward; revealing my ignorance, allowing my questions, even drawing me by them. He gave me a Rhema Word, with such precise timing.

It's too much for me to try and tell right now, in one post, if I even could put it into words. But it's now Tish B'Av, and I'd forgotten until last night that it was already this time, the 9th of Av, a reminder to me of God's amazing timing, His watchfulness over His people, His many mysteries. We went to our monthly Hebraic fellowship last night, and Brent taught a bit about this historical day, which I'd posted about a couple of years ago, here. Once we were home, and after I'd gotten the kids to bed, I read up on the historical background of Jeremiah- a little refresher course, and began reading from the book of Jeremiah, the Prophet.

I was astonished at how immediately (and unexpectedly) some of my questions and frustrations (which I am still not even able to coherently verbalize) regarding current events and some of the spiritual issues and ramifications at their heart, were answered much more deeply and interestingly than I would have even thought to expect! I find that with God, the answers often come as more of a framing and fleshing out of my questions, crystallization of my own perceptions that I may even know what to ask... lest I miss the answers to what really matters the most anyways.

Tomorrow I will read Lamentations... the book traditionally read on this somber day of fasting, which I have also decided to do. On Friday morning, my heart was heavily burdened and my spirit cried out to the Lord on behalf of His people, and for Israel... afterwards I was reminded by His minister of what day was beginning on the evening of the next day (today)... a day already set aside to mourn and seek Adonai for His people, for our unbelief... no other day could be more appropriately set aside to fast for what is heavy in my heart this evening. Timing... it is everything... apparently amazingly relevant to our Creator, and precisely laid out by Him, even in my own meager existence, if I will but listen and tune in to His melody... His timing.

It has been a long while since I sat here and blogged, hasn't it? Wow, I did not intend to take such a long sabbatical, and how rude of me to not even mention it. Life here has been rich, busy, good... I have been taking it all in~ and now, it is time to write again.

I've been going through some of my old drafts here and have found a couple that I may just go ahead and post, even though they're dated... *I'm* finding them interesting to re-read. Sometimes I wonder why I hold back so much?

Eight days the light continued on its own:
A miracle, they say, but not more so
Than ordinary lives of flesh and bone,
Consuming wicks burned ashen long ago....

~Nicholas Gordon, poemsforfree.com

See more Wordless Wednesdays here.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
~ e. e. cummings

Wordless Wednesday